10 Passengers we love to, umm….not like as much as the others: Day 4 – The passenger who tries to score a free first class seat

by Heather Poole on

In Grant Martin’s post, The top 5 myth’s about getting an upgrade, he wrote…

Flight attendants have no control over who gets upgraded when there always might be one last business class passenger coming down the jet bridge right before departure, so they can’t give away a seat. After the boarding door is closed? Maybe if you’re discreet, but with everyone watching, the flight attendant will most definitely say no.

Now I don’t know if Grant was ever a flight attendant, dated a flight attendant, or spends a lot of time in the galley talking to flight attendants, but he’s absolutely right! Flight attendants do not have upgrading powers. But agents do, so make sure to talk to one before you board. That said, the only passengers I’ve ever seen upgraded for free after the door has been shut were uniformed military personel…and…well…they kind of deserve it, don’t ya think?

Below is a list of 10 types of passengers who don’t deserve an upgrade, but give it a shot anyway….

1. I-think-I’m-a-frequent-flier passenger – “I’m a frequent flier and…” That’s how it starts. First of all, I can spot a frequent flier a mile away, so please don’t tell me how many miles you’ve flown because that’s my first clue you haven’t flown as often as you think, not compared to our frequent fliers today. See those passengers sitting in the exit row, as well as the first three rows of coach? Those passengers are at the top of the upgrade list. The best seats on the airplane are held and/or blocked for passengers who fly tens of thousands of miles each year. Anyway, real frequent fliers know the drill, they know what to expect, and they know where, exactly, their name is on the upgrade list, which means I don’t have to tell them they won’t be getting an upgrade, the way I’m telling you, because they know, that I know, that they know exactly what’s going on.

2. The curious passenger – “Hmm…I was wondering…is first class available?” asks the passenger who has just sauntered very…slowly…down…the aisle, checking out all the empty seats in first and business class on their way to their seat in coach. The answer to this question is no. First class is almost always booked full, so just because you see a few open seats does not mean those seats are available. Many of our frequent fliers spend time relaxing in private airline clubs and often times will be last to board the flight. If for whatever reason Mr. First Class does not make the flight, Mr. Exit Row will be taking the seat before you.

3. The injured passenger – Comes on board limping, moaning and groaning as soon as he/she spots me standing at the aircraft door greeting passengers and immediately begins the old bad back and knee routine. There’s no way they’ll be able to endure an entire flight cramped in a coach seat, I’m told, even though they already knew this when they purchased their tickets in coach online months ago. Hey I feel your pain, I know flying is not easy, but that does not equate to a free upgrade. However, if I can find a few extra pillows and blankets (they’re not always on board), I’ll do whatever I can to make your flight more comfortable. Just keep in mind there’s only so much I can do.

4. The inconvenienced passenger – Either their headsets don’t work, the reading light is out, the seat doesn’t recline, I ran out of the beverage of their choice, or there’s a smelly person sitting beside them, whatever it is, and it’s always something, they believe they’re entitled to a first class seat because of the inconvenience. If there’s another seat available in coach, you’re more than welcome to it, but there’s no way I’m moving you from coach to first class when there are seats available. Click here to find out why.

5. The charming passenger – “Wow, what a great smile,” says the passenger who is now squinting at my gold plated name tag pinned to my blue lapel. “So how are you doing today, Heather?” Although this passenger is always nice and polite, my favorite kind of passenger, whenever someone uses my name the alarm in my brain automatically begins to ring – alert, alert, special request coming! Nine times out of ten this passenger works in sales and while they may be successful on the ground, they’re not so successful at 35,000 feet.

6. The ill passenger – I wrote about this passenger in great detail in the Galley Gossip post, The passenger didn’t ask for much. Oh you remember her, the passenger who asked for a first class seat, a business class mug, help to the bathroom, uncooked veggies and potatoes, and then had the nerve to tell me she would be deplaning first, even though she sat in coach. Look, I’m sorry you’re sick and I’ll bring you all the Ginger ale, hot tea, damp towels, and barf bags you need, but just because you don’t feel well does not give you the right to a first class seat, not when you should really be at home, not barfing all over our premium passengers.

7. The surprised passenger – This passenger seems genuinely shocked to learn you have to actually pay for a first class seat. I’ve seen this passenger wander on board and make themselves comfortable in a plush leather seat located in one of the first rows of the airplane, reclining the seat all the way back, propping their feet on the foot rest, and treating themselves to a glass of champagne. “I just thought you might be nice,” a passenger once said after I told her she and her husband could not stow away in first class, not when they paid for a seat in coach. While I am nice, I’m not that nice.

8. The honeymooning passenger – Whenever someone tells me it’s their honeymoon, I know exactly what they want, big time special treatment. And I give it to them. I ask about their wedding and talk to them about where they’re going and I might even make an announcement to congratulate the happy couple. But I don’t move them up to first class. Even when times were good and airlines weren’t furloughing employees and going into bankruptcy every other week, I didn’t upgrade honeymooners just because they decided to take their relationship to the next level and tie the knot.

9 The celebrity passenger – I’m a celebrity get me out of here! is not just a television show, because I’ve actually seen it happen on the airplane. Now I’m not naming names, but years ago I had a very famous singer known for his long blond locks who purchased a seat in coach and then demanded to be upgraded for free because he said he’d be “mobbed” in coach. All I can say is, my how times have changed. Because today I’m pretty sure that the singer who recently broke up with – I better not say – only wishes he could get mobbed in coach.

10. The combination passenger – This is the worst type of passenger, Pulling every trick in the book, this passenger has no shame and will stop at nothing in their quest for a free upgrade. Trust me when I tell you there’s always a multiple number of issues going on here. Like sometimes they’re honeymooning and inconvenienced, while other times they’re injured and also charming. It doesn’t matter what they are, they just are, and I’m the lucky one who gets to hear all about it until the end of the flight.

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Six weird plane emergency landing stories

by Jamie Rhein on

One couldn’t argue that the US Airways emergency crash landing on the Hudson River due to birds flying into the engines is probably one of the most spectacular emergency landing stories.

There are, however, other stories that give one pause. They are not as splashy, but they sure are interesting, odd, and even downright weird. I went on an emergency landing hunt and this is what I found so far.

1. Back in December 2006, one American Airlines pilot had to divert a plane because of flatulence. One passenger who was passing gas, not the crop dusting, odorless kind that flight attendants sometimes do (ask Heather), but that foul kind you can’t quite get away from. The passenger who was passing gas lit matches to cover up the smell. When other passengers complained of a burnt sulfur smell, the pilot diverted the plane to Nashville where all passengers and all luggage was searched until the unnamed woman fessed-up. [Dallas/Ft. Worth Local News]

What about the plane VS the cow?

2. In August 2008, a Ryanair plane going from Budapest to Dublin had to land in Frankfurt after a man’s neck started to swell from an allergic reaction. Nope, it wasn’t peanuts. Turns out that a passenger had put a jar of mushrooms in the over head bin. The mushrooms leaked and got into the plane’s air conditioner system, thus out into the cabin which caused the medical woe. [UPI.com]

3. In December 2008, a Cirrus plane landed on the northbound lane of Highway 61 after there was engine trouble. The pilot and his passenger were able to push the plane to the side of the road out of the way until it was loaded onto a flatbed truck and removed. Can you imagine what it would have been like driving down the highway minding your own business when that baby came closer and closer to where you were driving? [10/13 ABC]

4. This odd story didn’t cause the emergency landing, but it is something that happened as a result. In December 2008, a World War II-era Tiger Moth in Britain hit a cow when it was making an emergency landing because of engine trouble. The cow had wandered out onto the runway. The cow was knocked down, but OK. My uncle hit a cow with his car. It wasn’t pleasant. Last summer while driving through North Dakota, we hit a few pheasants with our car. That wasn’t pleasant either. [UPI.com]

5. Here’s what one hopes would never, ever, ever, happen when flying. The plane door flies off. That’s what happened in March of 2008 when the door fell off a Bombardier Challenger CL-60 in Grand Junction, Colorado. No one was hurt, and the pilot was able to land the plane safely. A bit windy and startling, I would guess. I was riding in the passenger seat of a car once when the hood flew up and cracked the windshield. That was startling. [KOAA.com]

6. Here is a joke about an incident that almost ended up in an emergency landing. The story is thought to be true and was posted in The Australian. One plane almost made an emergency landing due to extreme vibrations. When the pilot put on the fasten the seat belt sign, the vibrations stopped. A person came out of the bathroom and said that he had been jogging in place. The story sounds a bit bogus to me, but I’ll believe about anything. [ahajokes.com]

Phil Keoghan’s tour of Air New Zealand’s 747-400

by Jamie Rhein on



If you wondered if Phil Keoghan of the Amazing Race has the most awesome job, stop wondering. He does. Just look at this video. What could be more sweeter than this job?

Here Phil takes viewers on a tour of first class of Air New Zealand’s 747-400 at the Air New Zealand hanger at Los Angeles Airport. The plane was part of an Amazing Race publicity photo shoot. Here was Phil’s chance to look sort of James Bondish. Because Phil has flown to New Zealand on one of these planes twelve times this past year, he knows all the bells and whistles. The video is number one of Amazing Race 14’s “Phil’s Diary.” The videos are posted on the Amazing Race website and give a bit of back story as to what it takes to film the TV show.

Can other airlines learn from Virgin America?

by Brenda Yun on

In my mind, there is nothing worse than flying. I think it’s a waste of time (I’ve probably wasted, cumulatively, half a year of my life in the air). Ever since I had to take off my shoes and undo my belt, I’ve hated checking through security. And there’s something really gross about sharing oxygen with over a hundred other travelers on a plane. I feel like I’m bound to catch the flu.

The one saving grace in flying is the entertainment on the plane, and even that has been lackluster these days (aside from “Slumdog Millionaire,” “Milk,” and “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” there really is nothing out in theaters worth shouting about).

That is until Virgin America came along. This upscale carrier somehow found a way to make flying really comfortable and fun — starting with its safety video, which is just awesome.

With regard to the video, I love the wry narrative voice and the innovative shots and character sketches (a matador and bull buckling up? Brilliant!). The video was produced by Anomaly and animated by Wildbrain, who also creates imaginative commercials for Nike, Coca Cola, and Honda.

I think it would be a great idea if every airline carrier revamped the image of the airline safety video. Traveling would be that much more enjoyable, wouldn’t it? And while they’re at it, they could maybe learn a thing or two more from Virgin, such as installing comfy black leather seats perhaps, or offering personalized entertainment like “Red.” Every passenger gets to tap on a touch screen and select from dozens of music and real-time television (like CNN and USA) options. Even its latest unbeatable fares between California and Boston are a godsend from bi-coastal travelers like myself.

Once United, America, and Delta Airlines in particular take some notes and finally understand we’re no longer living in the 20th century, maybe — just maybe — people in the air will be far more happy flying the “friendly skies.”

Flying pets: Getting them safely from point A to point B

by Brenda Yun on

My pug Iris (pictured here inside her airline travel bag) is what I believe to be one of the most well-traveled pugs in the universe. She is just seven years old and has been on at least twenty flights with me — most of them from one coast to the other.

A friend once asked me how much it costs to have a pet fly with you (or under you) on the plane and when I informed her that it cost at least $50 a “leg,” she actually thought I meant it cost $200 because my dog has four legs and asked me if I considered cutting off a leg or two to make her flight cheaper.

Nowadays, it can cost upwards of $300 for a pet to fly with you on the plane. It’s a sad state of affairs for airlines these days, and flying pets are the first to pay the price.Cassandra, a Gadling reader, inquired this week about how safe it is to fly your pet: “With all the news the media reports about animals deaths from flying because of heat/cold. Where exactly are they stored and is the pilot informed they are flying animals? And why can’t the airline industries build a section on the plane in the back near the bathroom for them rather than put them below? You’d think animals would feel more secure being near their owners rather than the loud noises of the belly.”

I have heard countless stories about pets dying of hypothermia or overheating on planes, or nightmarish tales of lost or stolen pets on planes, so there are, unfortunately, plenty of reasons to be worried about the safety of your pet in transit. Kent Wien, Gadling’s pilot and plane expert, wants you all to be assured that the conditions of the cargo area on planes are altered to accommodate for pets: “On the 767, the temperature in our ‘bulk cargo compartment’ is 65 degrees if we know there are animals below — 45 degrees if we don’t have animals. Most other Boeings are warm enough to support small chicks (birds) so I imagine they’re in the 55 to 65 degree range, but I haven’t seen the actual numbers on that.”

As for the location of the cargo and reason why pets are not allowed in the back of the plane near the bathroom, I imagine it has a lot to do with people having allergies to pet dander. Clearly, some pets do not like the small, dark, and cold confines of the plane’s cargo area (yes, it is the plane’s loud belly), but it is a highly controlled area of the plane.

It is also worth noting that, while some airlines allow small pets (they must be able to fit in a carrier under the seat in front of you and weigh roughly under 30 pounds) on the plane, other airlines restrict even small pets to the cargo area. You should always check with your particular airline to know whether to bring the carry-on pet bag or the airline-approved cargo kennel with you.

In addition, if you carry your pet onto the plane and squeeze the carrier under the seat in front of you, it’s always a good idea to reserve a middle seat rather than one by the window or aisle. The middle seat has more room for the bag, and therefore more room for your pet. Federal regulations require that your pet remain inside its carrier for the entire flight. Sorry, you can’t hide it under your blanket (although I’ve tried to do this both successfully and unsuccessfully before).

If you have a layover, it would be wise to take your dog out for a potty break. You will have to exit and re-enter through the TSA and security, but your pup will be forever grateful. Nearly every airport has a little plot of green somewhere near the baggage claim outside to let your dog do its business and stretch its legs.

Although I suffer from snub-nosed pet owner flying anxiety, I have yet to have a really sour experience flying with my beloved Iris. I have yet to have the fear of flying prevent Iris and I from getting where we need to go. If you are in doubt, though, there’s always road tripping it, like she and I did from Florida to California this past January!