SkyMall Monday: A Cornucopia of Foods

by Mike Barish on

Writing about SkyMall products can generate a real man-sized hunger. Living in New York, I’m surrounded by culinary options from around the globe. I can easily walk from the the SkyMall Monday Headquarters to any number of restaurants specializing in the cuisines of Thailand, Nepal, Italy, Afghanistan, Turkey and Canada (yes, Canada), just to name a few. But sometimes I want to experience the flavors of the world without leaving home. Sure, I could have those restaurants deliver, but I want credit for cooking these meals. And by cooking, I mean constructing and heating up meals that one can only hope freeze, travel and defrost well. Thankfully, SkyMall understands that you don’t need to travel to experience the food of other cultures. Quite frankly, it makes more sense to let the food do the traveling while I stay put. Food doesn’t have to get patted down at the airport or deal with the chatty guy in seat 13F who smells like farts and disappointment. When food comes to you, it makes you more special than the meal. Because you were the one worth visiting. So, what myriad treats can SkyMall deliver to your door? I hope you’re hungry, because I’m going to be putting a heaping helping into your mouth today.Famous Fast Food Bundle (Pictured above) – Containing a Vienna Beef Hot Dog Kit, Original Philly Cheesesteak Co. Kit and Anchor Bar Buffalo wings, this all-in-one party-in-a-box comes with the fixings for 16 Chicago-style hot dogs, six Philly cheesesteaks and two pounds of Buffalo wings. Invite your best girl over for an intimate evening and be sure to contact your lawyer to get your affairs in order before ingesting all that brain food.

Sausage Lovers Bundle – Here’s what you do: Invite over each and every one of your best bros. All the fellas from the gym. The lads from the office. The guys from your cuddle parties. Gather ’em all up and then unfurl your Sausage Lovers Bundle on their asses! They won’t know what hit the backs of their throats as they take in those two pounds of Vienna Beef Polish sausage, 2.25 pounds of Usinger’s Cooked Brats and eight ounces of Vienna Beef Frankwurts. It will no doubt be the hottest, juicest and zestiest sausage party that those men have ever attended. Your party, like the frankwurts, will be “enormous!” And remember, pack plenty of condiments, because while the “natural hog casing gives it a distinctive snap,” it’s up to you to give it a protective wrap.

Johnnie’s Pastrami Dip – Typically, I like my pastrami to be made by someone named Morty or Schlomo, but only Johnnie can turn this delightful meat into something so classy. Because all it takes is “one bite of the pastrami and you know this is real fine dining.” Tablecloth, butler and silver platter not included.

Angelina’s Crab Cakes – “One bite identifies the meat as 100% domestic blue crab, the exclusive, expensive variety that’s worth every succulent nibble.” Because when you have to be told about an items exclusivity and price, you know it’s classy. Just ask the Real Housewives of [insert name of any city that has been featured on that show].

Fruitasia – Easier to navigate than its cousin Southeast Asia and significantly more delicious than it’s sibling, euthanasia, Fruitasia is a treat for all of your senses. “A feast of flavors and sweet nectars – 16 pieces of fruit in all – this selection offers harvest-fresh morsels from every corner of the grove. Equally opulent is its dramatic presentation, making it irresistible to lavish on someone special.” That’s a grandiose way of saying that it’s a basket with three kinds of pears, two kinds of apples and some navel oranges.

Rocky Mountain Chocolates – Perhaps no region is more world-renowned for its confections than the American West.

I could go on, but, well, I’m starving. Check out all 50 food items offered in the SkyMall catalog when you have some time. Assuming you don’t eat any of them, it will be a great use of your time.

As for me, I have to get the invites out for my upcoming Presidents Day Sausage Party. They’ll be delivered in shipping tubes. I hope to see you there.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Five major changes to North Korean tourism in 2009

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Fewer than 1,500 Americans have been to North Korea on vacation, according to Koryo Tours, making it one of the truly remote destinations in a world that’s becoming increasingly interconnected. So, if you’re looking for an unusual stamp in your passport or bragging rights when the conversation turns to “most unusual destination,” a trip above the DMZ remains one of the top alternatives.

If you have set expectations of what a trip to North Korea entails, prepare to have them shattered. Sure, they tend to include the basics that you’ve seen in countless travelogues and news stories, but new sites do open up. Look for a few surprises in 2010, though as one would expect, there are no guarantees.

Below, look for five ways that tourism has changed in North Korea this year. Some of them will surprise you.

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1. Cell phones, cell phones everywhere
Cell phone use is on the rise in North Korea, according to Koryo Tours, which says, “tens of thousands of units have been sold to local residents in the past 12 months.” But, if you’re heading over to Pyongyang this year, you won’t be among the people chatting away. Visitors still aren’t allowed to take their own phones into the country.

2. Foreign grub is now on the menu
Pyongyang is now home to two new pizza joints and a fast food burger place. These come on top of a fried chicken restaurant that opened in 2008.

3. Americans played soccer
A match between the Beijing Chaoyang Park Rangers and a local DPRK club was the first amateur contest in which Americans participated.

4. The movies found romance
Filmmaker (and tour guide) Nick Bonner is trying something new. Following three documentaries on North Korean life and culture (one of which involved American defectors), he’s now working on a romantic comedy. When the film comes out, you may be able to remember visiting some of what you see in the background (just a guess — few details have been released).

5. Short tours were available
Koryo Tours ran a series of short tours to Pyongyang for Arirang this year, which made the destination more accessible to westerners gripped by a global financial crisis.

So, if you’re thinking about a return trip, the scene might look a little different in Pyongyang this time around. Whether you’re going to dig into some kimchi or some pizza and beer, you’ll find something exciting in this corner of the world. Keep an eye on Arirang in September; hopefully Koryo Tours will repeat the deals it ran this year!

If you’re worried about your safety, don’t. You could have a considerable amount of trouble if you enter North Korea illegally, but according to Koryo Tours, organized tours are quite safe, and the company hasn’t had any problems.

Where to go for fast food – the flowchart edition

by Scott Carmichael on

American food blog “eating the road” has come up with one of the best uses for a flowchart I have ever seen. By answering some simple questions, you’ll be told where to go for your daily dose of crappy fast food. The chart points west coasters to the stores the rest of the country dreams of getting, and sends all Canadians to Tim Hortons.

The chart covers 16 of the most popular US fast food chains, and even takes your sobriety into account (only drunk people will survive sliders).

Click here for the full version of the chart

Pyongyang gets a “taste” of capitalism

by Tom Johansmeyer on

North Korea, the reclusive Communist state, is always reluctant to try something new. The government controls information tightly, as anyone who has read updates from the Korea Central News Agency can see. But, occasionally, a fissure forms in the barriers that separate the most remote country on Earth from the rest of the world. And now, the people who are slowly developing a taste for pizza and beer are taking a look at burgers and fries.

Pyongyang is now home to North Korea’s first fast food restaurant, where the locals can scarf down the same grub that’s made so many Americans overweight … though rampant poverty is unlikely to allow the nation supersize overnight. Named Samtaesong, the place pairs kimchi with burgers, fries and waffles. Beer, a local fave, is available on tap. There are plans to add croissants and hot dogs to the menu – a natural combo – and to open up other locations in the country’s capital.

The food isn’t cheap, according to the North Korean media outlet Choson Sinbo (which is based in Tokyo. A hamburger will set you back $1.70, which is more than half what the average North Korean earns in a day. Fortunately, Pyongyang is home to the country’s wealthiest citizens (so much for the Communist objective of financial equality), so they can afford to eat fast food.

There are other signs of capitalism encroaching on Kim Jong Il’s turf. He was reported to have visited a convenience store recently, though accounts stop just short of whether Apu invited him to “come again!” The Dear Leader did pick up five bottles of a Korean liquor known as “makgeolli” and other drinks.

Fast food, convenience stores … this is starting to prove something I’ve believed for quite a while. Future wars will not be won with armored divisions and air strikes. Instead, ambition, taste and style – the nuts and bolts of capitalism – will yield victory and create foundations for freedom around the world. While I hate to give Puff Daddy P. Diddy Diddy Sean John Combs his due, it really is “all about the Bejamins.”

A successful free enterprise, of course, requires that customers be willing to come back to more. Well, Samtaesong is already on the right track, having had its first satisfied customer, George Bottomley. But, that’s not such a big deal – his only reference point is the food back in Britain.

A big small-town hotdog in East Anglia

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Let’s face it: Bury St. Edmunds doesn’t have a lot going on. The Abbey Gardens are the main attraction – particularly the internet-enabled bench. So, it’s pretty easy to see why entertainment alternatives are generally limited. There are some fine restaurants in this sleepy eastern England town, allowing you to eat quite well. But, I prefer to go as down-market as possible. So, I made it a point to find a hotdog place in Bury St. Edmunds, and I found one fit for royalty.

King’s is a tiny, dumpy establishment that reminds me of strip mall pizza joints here in the United States. It’s possible to eat your dog, burger or slice of pizza elbow-to-elbow with whoever’s on duty, or you can take it outside to the patio, which is considerably more spacious. I chose a third way: take it for the road. The main reason I look for hotdogs when I travel is because I can eat on the go, maximizing my time wherever I am.

The hotdog at King’s was impressive in size. Unlike the hotdogs in Reykjavik and Stockholm, this sleepy British down puts out an enormous wiener, so make sure you haven’t eaten in a while before trying to tackle it. As for taste, frankly, the long dog at King’s just doesn’t measure up. I had to wait longer than I expected, and the hotdog just wasn’t tasty enough to warrant all the standing around.

I’ve had better.

Even with its drawbacks, though, it’s still nice to know you can find a hotdog in this remote corner of the world. Yes, it is remote. For a city-dweller, the East Anglia countryside is about as far from civilization as possible. The good news is that, somehow, hotdogs made their way as far out as Bury St. Edmunds, allowing even the country folk to dine ‘n’ dash.

Check out the video review after the jump.

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[Thanks to David Harris from the Cambridge Chronicle for shooting the video]

Disclosure: Visit Britain shelled out some cash for this experience, and British Airways supplied the flights. But, the trip to the hotdog place was certainly off the beaten path. I wasn’t asked to cover it.