The machines are carefully plotting their attack, and they’re using us as pawns in a very dangerous game of GPS chess. If you don’t believe me, have a look at these stories:
Last year, drivers in Luckington, Wiltshire blindly followed their GPS navigation systems like lemmings. A bridge in the area was out, but that blockage wasn’t reflected in the navigation system’s map. Although there were road signs stating the area was closed, motorists drove around the warnings and plopped into the River Anon.
Earlier this month, a German driver’s satellite navigation computer instructed him to “turn left.” So, what did he do? He cut the wheel to port, forced his Audi up a sidewalk curb, and got himself stuck on a streetcar track. He held up light rail service until a tow truck rescued him.
Finally, this post from Geekologie put some doubt into my mind whether I could trust directions from Google Maps anymore. It seemed the service became a little disoriented while plotting a course. I’m not exactly sure what happened, but I think I could charge Google with DUI… Directions Under the Influence. (See what I did there? I think I missed my true calling of writing for America’s Funniest Home Videos.)
I guess it’s easy to blame the computers for these types of mistakes especially if you were affected. However, the machines really did no wrong. If anything, they just wanted to help. The first two stories were caused by a dangerous combination of outdated maps and human stubbornness. I think the last one was just caused by some faulty logic.
Obviously, I’m kidding about any kind of artificial intelligence conspiracy. Why would they want to harm us? If anything, it’s the insurance companies that are behind all of this.