Alton Towers Resort bans loud sex in some hotel rooms

I’m sure we’ve all stayed a night in a hotel where we wished that there was a ban on sex because of the couple in the room next door, but I can honestly say I never thought I’d see a day when an actual hotel sex ban went into effect.

That’s exactly what has happened in some hotel rooms at the Alton Towers Resort, a giant theme park and water park in Staffordshire outside London.

After complaints from families about noisy hotel neighbors louder than the screams from the roller coasters, Alton Towers’ owners have designated certain rooms as quiet “family friendly” zones and others as “adults only.” The family friendly zones have been set up in both the Alton Towers Hotel and Splash Landings.

To be fair, I’ve been awakened by loud kids more often than I have by couples getting it on in the room next door, so perhaps those adults-only zones are the place to be.

[Image credit: Flickr user Annika Leigh]

Alton Towers theme park offers free mullets and perms for employees

British theme park Alton Towers – the site of the 2009 Speedo ban that delighted women worldwide – is bravely trying to bring back the mullet.

The park is headed back to the 1980s to celebrate its 30th anniversary later this month.

So to give Alton Towers a more authentic 1980s feel, officials are offering employee makeovers – complete with mullet haircuts for the guys and perms for the gals.

The “business in the front, party in the back” look had its heyday around the time of the artists at a concert planned for May 23 at Alton Towers.

Rick Astley (“Never Gonna Give You Up”), Bananarama (“Cruel Summer”) and Kim Wilde (“Kids in America”) are scheduled to perform at the show, which is free with theme park admission.

Discounted early bird tickets are available online for about $38.

British theme park bans Speedos – to protect the children

British theme park Alton Towers has decided that guests wearing Speedos are no longer welcome in their park.

The iconic “show your bulge” swimming trunks are deemed unfriendly to families, and possibly scary to kids.

Of course, the whole argument is based upon standards gone crazy, because 20 years ago, beaches were full of men wearing their Speedos, and as far as I know, there have been no mass outbreaks of adults requiring mental care to suppress flashbacks of their childhood trips to the beach.

The park is so hell-bent on protecting the children, that they are even considering offering complimentary male waxing services, you know, so the poor kids don’t see little hairs coming out the side of daddy’s trunks.

I’ve got a much more “European” opinion of the Speedo – if you can pull it off, do it. My biggest concern is people who can not pull it off, yet do it anyway.