Video of the Day: Don’t use baby leashes

Sigh, baby leashes. How demoralizing. We have strollers and Baby Björns and, hell, arms with which we can carry our children and children with their own healthy legs who can walk on their own while we, as responsible adults, observe them with our eyes and keep them close with verbal cues and instructions. Despite all of this, people continue to harness their children like some sort of pet capybara. We understand that you want to keep an eye on your kids – and we know that traveling with kids is far from easy – but isn’t there a better way?

Nannies are an expensive luxury and you’re certainly not always going to have a babysitter with you when you’re on a trip. But is it so hard to just monitor your own kids? Maybe hold their hands or something? Look, we can’t tell you how to raise your kids, so, if you’re going to use a baby leash, could you do us a solid and make sure that you’re not tugging the child backwards in an intersection? Thanks.

Babykeeper Basic hangs your baby close while you pee

I thought writing product reviews couldn’t get any better than Skymall Monday. But then a product comes along that is so patently amazing that it takes my breath away. I stare at my computer screen, mouth agape, and wonder how I ever lived before experiencing such wonderment. I can only imagine that this is how one would feel upon encountering a unicorn in a meadow filled with daisies and trees that fruit lollipops. Ladies and gentleman, I am pleased to introduce you to The Babykeeper Basic.

Traveling with kids is hard. Or at least that’s what people tell me. I’m single and childless (as far as I know), so I just throw some underpants and toothpaste into a bag and off I go to my next exotic destination. But I imagine that when you travel with kids, you can get a tad flustered. You have your luggage, the kids’ luggage, diaper bags, purses, stuffed animals and other nonsense to carry. That’s a lot to handle. And, at some point, you’re going to have to use the bathroom.

Well, you can’t just ask some stranger, or worse, your spouse, to hold your child while you urinate (or defecate, your choice). That’s where The Babykeeper Basic comes in. Simply select the lavatory of your choosing, place the hooks over the stall divider and overcome the stage fright that you will inevitably encounter as your child stares at you judgmentally while you try to relax and let the river flow. Nope, nothing to see here. Just a baby hanging precariously from the wall of a bathroom stall while you empty your bladder and/or bowels.

Look, I’m not saying that you should just put your kid on the bathroom floor while you do your business. That’s foolish. Your child could then easily abscond with your luggage while your pants are at your ankles. What I am saying is that hanging your child from the bathroom stall in some medieval harness might not win you Parent of the Year at your church’s next family fun day.

For our readers in Japan, I have great news. You can save $25 and just use the amazing public restrooms in your forward-thinking country. They have the baby seat built right in.

[Via Buzzfeed]