SkyMall Monday: iRestore Hair Laser

No man wants to go bald. As a man who shaves his head because it’s the only hair style that looks good anymore, I can tell you that I frequently feel pangs of hair envy when I see a guy with thick, luxurious locks. That’s why I often just sit around the SkyMall Monday headquarters wearing a wig. That said, I’ve never pursued any type of hair treatment or restoration because I’ve always believed that you should just make the best of what you have. Thankfully, my parents never dropped my on my head, so I look good bald. That’s helped me avoid any urge to use those potent pills that can’t be handled by women who are pregnant or planning to become pregnant, as well as any strange topical ointments, salves and creams. All of those remedies sounds frightening and messy. However, recent innovations in the hair restoration industry have led to developments that include lasers. Lasers make everything cooler. If anything can bring back hair that has been lost for years, it’s lasers. That’s why I am completely on board with SkyMall offering the iRestore Hair Laser.Historically, the problem with lasers is that they’ve been dangerous and often used by aliens to enslave the human race. Now, however, lasers have been put inside a helmet so that bald men can use them while doing anything from sitting around on the couch watching TV to eating a rack of ribs to sitting on the couch watching TV while eating a rack of ribs. It’s about time lasers became convenient for lazy bald men.

Think that you should play with the hand that nature dealt you? Believe that lasers are dangerous, precise instruments that are best left to professionals? Well, while I shine these lasers into my eyes, why don’t you take a look at the product description:

Adjustable Laser Dome for full scalp coverage!

That’s all you really need to know. Well, that and the fact that you’ll be able to tell your friends that you have an adjustable laser dome. They’re sure to feel stupid for being stuck with non-adjustable laser domes. Fools!

So, if you’re bald, wish you had a full head of hair and enjoy standing around reading books in an infinite black emptiness, then the iRestore Hair Laser is for you. Or, it might not be for you. To be certain, check out this handy and not-at-all amusing chart on iRestore’s website.

Stop being bald and laserless when you could be hairy and laserful. The choice is yours.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Let people look at your hair and get 20,000 Delta miles

This is truly one of the more bizarre frequent flier miles offerings out there. The folically challenged could really score some free air tickets here.

Bosley, the hair restoration company, is offering 20,000 Delta SkyMiles to anyone who’s willing to let them take a look at his/her hair. And, if you–by any chance–decide to go through with their hair restoration procedure, you will earn 150,000 miles.

Well, what do you think?

[Thanks, Chris, for the tip]