Welcome to SkyMall Wednesday. I mean, um, Tuesday? No, wait, SkyMall Friday, right? Fudge! SkyMall Monday! Wow. You’ll have to forgive my absentmindedness. It’s been a crazy few days, what with all the holiday shopping, snow in New York City and MTV’s Jersey Shore revolutionizing television as we know it. It’s just so hard to remember what day of the week it is, let alone what time of day. I’m a frazzled mess. This is no small problem. I’ve missed medical appointments, dinner dates and, perhaps worst of all, Quacker Factory on QVC. This madness has to stop before I end up missing flights or trying to go to Chik-Fil-A on a Sunday. But how can one be expected keep track of what day it is? There’s, like, what, 12 days in a week? That’s a lot of days. Frankly, I’m at my wits’ end.
Thankfully, SkyMall knows that there are people like me out there. People who are so overwhelmed by the trials and tribulations of life that simply keeping track of the calendar is an impossible situation. And thanks to their innovative thinking and bold research methods, I’ll finally be able sing “Eight Days a Week” with confidence thanks to this major scientific breakthrough. Because now we have the Day Clock.Did you know that Tuesday comes after Monday? And that there’s a Thursday? That’s a funny word. I wonder if that bar down the street knows that Hersday isn’t really one of the days of the week (though it should be, since ladies seem to be able to drink for free before 8:00pm on that mythical day). Anyways, presuming that it’s not running fast, my Day Clock tells me that it’s Monday. And that’s why you’re reading SkyMall Monday today. It’s all falling into place (but you ladies will have to pay full price for your drinks tonight).
Sure, I know what you’re thinking. “But, Mike, I always know what day of the week it is. I have more calendars than I know what to do with. There’s one on my wall, computer, smartphone, cellphone, desk and tattooed on my secretary’s lower back above that dolphin.” Well, not all of us live in a lap of luxury with multiple calendars and tramp-stamped secretaries. Some of us wander aimlessly through life clinging desperately to whatever buoy we can find that will moor us to the days of the week.
Lest ye doubt the necessity of such a macro level clock, feast your eyes on the product description:
Do all of your days seem the same? Do you have little trouble keeping track of the hour and even the date but the day always eludes you? Then you need a DayClock. It’s uniquely designed to keep track of weekly events like your golf day, card night, movie night and so much more. Ideal for vacations and cruises when it’s easy to lose track of the day.
Much like companionship and hope elude me, the days of the week seem to pass through my grasp like so many grains of sand through an hour glass. And much like vacations and cruises, wearing the same pair of sweatpants for months on end can blur the days of the week into one endless trip to Old Country Buffet.
If you’re struggling to cope with the challenge of remembering what day it is, then I cannot recommend the Day Clock fiercely enough. And if you order now, it will arrive in ten business days. So, by, um…uh…Smurzday, you’ll finally be getting your life in order.
Until then, have a great weekend!
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.