White Collar Travel: How Important Is That Phone Call?

by Tom Johansmeyer on

The biggest complaint that non-business travelers have about the white collar folks likely involves cell phones. Our reluctance to turn the off at the appointed time is probably the greatest annoyance to those around us, though the Gordon Gekko-style pacing and posing at the gate tends to ruffle some feathers, too. I’ve overheard and even been asked countless times the very simple question: “Is it really that important?”

Of course, it’s sometimes phrased, “Nothing can be that [insert expletive of choice here] important.”

Now that I’m out of the game, my perspective on business travel has changed greatly, but there are some quirks and habits that still make sense to me. When I see a guy in a suit shaking his head dramatically, waving his arms and clenching his jaw, I get it. Chances are, it really is that important. Some issues won’t wait, especially if you’re bouncing up against a deadline and are about to be inaccessible for several hours.

In fact, it’s measurable.
Whether it’s commissions or billable hours, every white collar traveler has a number to hit – for the firm and, more importantly, personally. A manager squeezing in those last few minutes before the phones have to go dark can set people on the right course for the next four hours, resulting in possibly tens of thousands of dollars of value to his company.

Now, that’s the positive side of this. There’s also the crisis scenario. The door’s about to close, and you have only seconds left. Your project is blowing up, and your team needs any information or guidance you can give. Anything you can do will make life that much easier for the half a dozen or more people relying on you. I’ve been on both sides of this one and can assure you that it’s uncomfortable for all involved.

When you’re annoying everyone around you – which you really don’t want to do – you’re comparing that to trying to help your team. So, the choice involves securing the approval of strangers or taking care of people who are important to you. It’s easy to see how that one shakes out.

There is one more scenario to keep in mind: the business traveler before you, hollering and gesticulating, is a complete asshole who is unbelievably desperate or as much attention as he can garner. Do anything except ignore him, and you’ll only make it worse … for everyone.

SkyMall Monday: Wrist Cell Phone Carrier

by Mike Barish on

The older we get, the more forgetful we become. How many times have you misplaced your car keys? How often do you walk into a room and have no idea why you did so? If you had a nickle for every time you put your infant daughter on the roof of your car while you unlocked the door and then drove away with her still stashed up there, how rich would you be?

We all forget things from time to time. Whether it’s which pills to take, your own name or your alibi, it’s always embarrassing when your memory fails you. There is perhaps nothing more frustrating than losing your cellphone. You could try calling it but it’s often your only phone. You can have a friend call it, but you won’t hear it because you probably also forgot your hearing aid. Eventually, you just have to curl up in a ball and wait for the cold hand of death to reach you.

Well, not anymore! Now, SkyMall has decided that lost cellphones are a problem that can no longer be tolerated. This scourge must be thwarted. Rather than rummaging through your purse, checking your couch cushions and using a jeweler’s eye to inspect your dog’s anal cavity, you’ll always know exactly where your cellphone is. It’s strapped to your wrist in the Wrist Cell Phone Carrier.Who knew that your wrist could prove so useful? Sure, you could place your cellphone in your pocket, purse or, if you’re a middle-aged white man, on your belt, but that would only be moderately convenient. You’re a person on the go and need your phone constantly at the ready. Pockets are linty. Purses are filled with tampons and crumpled up tissues that look used but that your mother insists are clean. And those holsters just make you look like a douchebag. Clearly, the wrist is the only place to store your cellphone safely and with class.

Think that wrists are only for watches and masturbating? Well, does SkyMall have news for you. Take a look at the product description:

This innovative accessory uses sturdy Velcro to insure the safety of your phone and has been extensively tested by active joggers, cyclists, skate boarders, fishermen, hunters and business people.

Is there anything more innovative than Velcro? Plus, apparently it provides insurance, which is something that even the President and Congress are having difficulty doing. I only wish we knew how race walkers felt about it.

What a relief that we’ll never have to worry about losing our cellphones again. Now we can focus all our energy on remembering, um, to, er, what was I going to say? Shoot. Cellphones…memory…then I wanted to tell you to…uh…pick up milk…take the blue pill…dang it. Whatever. Just get the Wrist Cell Phone Carrier and you can call your spouse. Lord knows that they’ll remind you of everything you forgot.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.


Five major changes to North Korean tourism in 2009

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Fewer than 1,500 Americans have been to North Korea on vacation, according to Koryo Tours, making it one of the truly remote destinations in a world that’s becoming increasingly interconnected. So, if you’re looking for an unusual stamp in your passport or bragging rights when the conversation turns to “most unusual destination,” a trip above the DMZ remains one of the top alternatives.

If you have set expectations of what a trip to North Korea entails, prepare to have them shattered. Sure, they tend to include the basics that you’ve seen in countless travelogues and news stories, but new sites do open up. Look for a few surprises in 2010, though as one would expect, there are no guarantees.

Below, look for five ways that tourism has changed in North Korea this year. Some of them will surprise you.

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1. Cell phones, cell phones everywhere
Cell phone use is on the rise in North Korea, according to Koryo Tours, which says, “tens of thousands of units have been sold to local residents in the past 12 months.” But, if you’re heading over to Pyongyang this year, you won’t be among the people chatting away. Visitors still aren’t allowed to take their own phones into the country.

2. Foreign grub is now on the menu
Pyongyang is now home to two new pizza joints and a fast food burger place. These come on top of a fried chicken restaurant that opened in 2008.

3. Americans played soccer
A match between the Beijing Chaoyang Park Rangers and a local DPRK club was the first amateur contest in which Americans participated.

4. The movies found romance
Filmmaker (and tour guide) Nick Bonner is trying something new. Following three documentaries on North Korean life and culture (one of which involved American defectors), he’s now working on a romantic comedy. When the film comes out, you may be able to remember visiting some of what you see in the background (just a guess — few details have been released).

5. Short tours were available
Koryo Tours ran a series of short tours to Pyongyang for Arirang this year, which made the destination more accessible to westerners gripped by a global financial crisis.

So, if you’re thinking about a return trip, the scene might look a little different in Pyongyang this time around. Whether you’re going to dig into some kimchi or some pizza and beer, you’ll find something exciting in this corner of the world. Keep an eye on Arirang in September; hopefully Koryo Tours will repeat the deals it ran this year!

If you’re worried about your safety, don’t. You could have a considerable amount of trouble if you enter North Korea illegally, but according to Koryo Tours, organized tours are quite safe, and the company hasn’t had any problems.

Low flying pelican and cell phone vs million dollar car: car loses

by Jamie Rhein on

Earlier this week, a pig on an airport runway in Zimbabwe wrecked a plane and panicked passengers as the plane was taking off. On Wednesday, it wasn’t a pig that created a travel brouhaha. It was a low flying pelican–plus a cell phone.

Evidently, as the pelican made a low flying move in front of a million dollar sports car–a Bugatti Veyron, the man driving this expensive beauty became startled and dropped his cell phone.

Quick quiz:

What shouldn’t you do if you drop your cell phone in your car?

Answer:

Don’t do what this guy did. He bent down to pick up the phone.

Bad move.

If you’ve ever bent down to pick up anything when you drive, you know how easy it is for the car to swerve.

That’s just what happened in this case. The man swerved the car right off the frontage road of Interstate 45 near Galveston, Texas and into a salt marsh. Luckily, the salt marsh wasn’t so deep that the car disappeared entirely.

When the police showed up, it was easy to spot the car’s silver grey shine where it waited for rescue 20 feet from shore—at least the part that wasn’t under the briny water.

After the incident, along with gaining notoriety for being the owner of a salted, wet million dollar car, the man did get a call from California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. [msnbc]

SkyMall Monday: Underwater Cell Phone System

by Mike Barish on

Here at the SkyMall Monday headquarters, the motto is “Be Prepared…Always” I considered copying the Boy Scouts’ motto verbatim, but I just can’t support any organization that places so much emphasis on neckerchiefs. That said, I like to be ready for any situation, and thankfully the SkyMall catalog anticipates every situation imaginable (and some that only a person on a tremendous amount of hallucinogens could possibly consider). So, while some people are content with put their faith in maps, GPS systems and charts, I require a Plan D. I need to know that, at any time, I can contact my SkyMall Monday support team for assistance. As I often find myself 40 meters underwater and completely lost, I can’t be trying to read a soggy AAA TripTik with outdated notes about speed traps. No, I need real help. Thankfully, SkyMall anticipated this completely common and harrowing situation and responsibly chose to distribute a product that can help me when nothing else can. The next time I’m disoriented below sea level, I’m going to call the Gadling editors and ask for help on my Underwater Cell Phone System.Why would I need to make cell phone calls underwater, you ask? Well, besides my penchant for driving off of bridges, I also happen to do my best thinking while in a wetsuit. And when an idea pops into my head, I feel that it merits a phone call to share the news.

Case in point: Just last year, I was scuba diving and realized that it was time to break up with my girlfriend. I called her immediately and said, “Babe, we’re through. I met a mermaid down here and I think she’s the one.” Now, it turns out that the mermaid was just a manatee with two seductively-placed goiters, but I still think breaking up with someone warrants a phone call.

Don’t think that making phone calls from 40 meters below sea level is necessary? Well, I bet you also think that I don’t need to watch TV while in an elevator. You’re such a Luddite. Well, if you won’t take my word for it, listen to the wizards over at SkyMall:

With the Alpha UWCP, talk with someone 15,000 miles away while diving a tropical reef or in your pool! This complete and sophisticated communication diving system can do it.

It was just last week that I got completely lost and needed help to find my way home. Thankfully, my mother answered the call and told me that I was in the pool and simply needed to get out and walk inside. Now, if I can get lost just trying to find a comfortable place to urinate, you can imagine how desperately I need an Underwater Cell Phone System in my life. It’s anecdotes like this that make the system’s $1,790.00 price tag seem like an absolute peach of a deal.

So, the next time you set off on a road trip, don’t just pack maps and charge your GPS. Lakes, ponds and oceans are lurking everywhere, just waiting to swallow you whole. Only some quick thinking and speed dialing will be able to save you. Be prepared…always.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.