SkyMall Monday: Full Color Photo Throw ACTUAL REVIEW

by Mike Barish on

Welcome to a very special edition of SkyMall Monday. For the first time in the illustrious history this series, I can provide you with a first-hand, hands-on, handy review of a SkyMall product. This may shock and/or amaze you, but I don’t actually test the products that I review in this space. I know, I know. It seems disingenuous. But you’d be surprised how well you can understand a product when its usefulness is just so plainly obvious. But, when the time came to purchase a going away gift for a friend, I knew that it needed to be the perfect balance of practicality and narcissism. And so, with great optimism, excitement and trepidation, my friends and I ordered the Full Color Photo Throw.

I’ve long been obsessed with the Full Color Photo Throw. I’d wanted to give a blanket with my face on it to someone…anyone…but couldn’t decide who was deserving of such woven perfection. But my friend Jenny solved that riddle when she had the idea to gift the blanket to Asami, our friend who has been in New York studying English for close to a year. What better way to let her know how much we enjoyed her friendship and how badly we’ll miss her than to send her back to Japan with a blanket sporting our charming smiles?

Photos were taken, the order was placed with SkyMall and, very shortly thereafter, we received the packet of instructions for submitting our chosen image. In just a few short weeks, our blanket arrived. To say that we were pleased with the service and quality is an understatement. I mean, it’s a blanket…with our faces on it…and we never had to leave the house. If that’s not that apex of what the internet has to offer, I don’t know what could possibly be coming in the future. I can only hope that it will be a Full Color Photo Throw that flies. And gets good gas mileage.

We presented Asami with the blanket this past weekend and, needless to say, she loved it. She’s eager to get back to Hokkaido and show everyone how amazing her American friends are. And we’ll be famous in Northern Japan for being the blanket people. It’s a win-win.

The Full Photo Throw is fantastic. I recommend it with great confidence and enthusiasm, as proven by the use of this exclamation point! But I would suggest that you include my likeness on any blanket that you order. That seems to be the factor that guarantees the blanket’s success.

So, SkyMall, kudos and huzzah to you. You sell at least one worthwhile product that forwards the human existence and raises the level of discourse in all blanket-related conversations. And you also enabled the creation of a blanket that includes not one, but two Gadling contributors (yep, that’s yours truly in the bottom row in the middle and Jeremy Kressmann in the lower right-hand corner).

I’ll wrap things up with my own “official” product description. SkyMall editors, feel free to use this. It’s my gift to you:

Do you love your friend? Do you love yourself? Do you want to combine that love in a way that won’t result in awkwardness? Then keep your pants on and purchase the Full Color Photo throw instead. You, your friend and your ego will be glad you did.

Photo by Matt Huang.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: Full Color Photo Throw

by Mike Barish on

You love your family. You love to visit them, speak to them on the phone and keep photos of them around your home. That’s what you do when you love people and want to keep them close. But what if you really need to keep them close? What if you really need to express your love and devotion to them? You only have so many kidneys to give. Well, thankfully, SkyMall Monday is back to help you help yourselves. This week we learn what love is. This week, we discuss the Full Color Photo Throw.

Sure, you could display photos of your family in ornate frames or waste your hard-earned money on one of the asinine digital picture frames. But your love is better than that. Your love for your family cannot be contained within the confines of a 4×6, 5×7 or even 8×10 photo. No, you need something bigger. Something better. Something that also keeps you warm and makes your houseguests mildly to moderately uncomfortable. You need the Full Color Photo Throw.

It’s a blanket with a photo of your family (or friends, pets, sister-in-law, neighbor, yourself or some unsuspecting stranger) on it. Nothing will put your mind at ease more than laying down on the couch with some Irish coffee, your mortgage and credit card bills and a blanket with a larger-than-life photo of your loved ones on it. How relaxing!

Don’t believe me? You never do. It hurts my feelings. But, since you’re going to be that way, you might as well read the product description:

Turn your parent’s wedding photo into a cherished heirloom, honor a military hero, make a keepsake of the last family reunion photo or memorialize a beloved pet!

Who wouldn’t want to get busy with someone on the couch under a blanket festooned with a photo of their parents on it? And no one will be concerned about your emotional well-being when you take a nap under a blanket decorated with a picture of your dog who died 12 years ago. Nope, nothing to see here.

So, show everyone how much you love them in a totally healthy and well-adjusted way with the Full Color Photo Throw. It’s the natural way to love. Unlike the way your creepy uncle likes to love you.