Flight attendant rumors: What your oversize carry-on costs her (or him)

by Jamie Rhein on
Let’s say you’ve opted to carry on your luggage, the very luggage that is a wee too big to fit in the carry-on size box at check-in. You saw the box, but you really didn’t look at it that closely because it seemed your bag would fit–it should fit, and who really checks anyway?
As it turns out, FAA does check such things. At least, from what I’ve heard from a very reliable source, they’re starting to now. If you bag is too big for the bin, but makes it onto the airplane, the flight attendant who let you squeak by, can get fined for being generous.
The flight attendant can also get fined if she or he lets you:
  • Use your electronic device when you’re not supposed to
  • Get out of your seat when the seat belt sign is on, no matter how badly you have to GO.

This very reliable source personally knows a flight attendant who was recently fined almost $2,000 for such infractions.

Rumor has it that this enforcing rules business has pepped up recently as FAA staff hop on flights, thumbing through rule books, and keeping a watchful eye up and down the aisles to find out if flight attendants are doing what they’re supposed to be doing. No, it’s not that flight attendants are supposed to make us–the passengers–miserable, they’re supposed to keep us safe. Haven’t you been reading Galley Gossip?

Unfortunately, what I see happening is that flight attendants are being put in the middle of airline regulations, especially the one about carry-on size since some airlines have shrunk the allowable carry-on size in order to get people to check bags so they can collect the checked bag fee. This means the flight attendant and passenger relationship may feel more adversarial.

If you are going to try to sneak that bag on, or get out of your seat to go, just keep in mind that your actions may cost money to that flight attendant who smiled and said “Hi” when you got on board.

Also, because of FAA’s pepped up vigilance that flight attendant is going to be watching you more carefully. Watched people watch other people. That bag may not make it on after all. And remember to visit the women’s or men’s room before you get on the plane. And when it’s time to turn off that electronic device, don’t plead just one more minute.

According to Conway L, who posted this picture, the bomb decal on his bag didn’t create a stir. If the bag was a bicycle, that might have been another story.

Galley Gossip: Flight attendant of the month – Author Barbara Goodwin

by Heather Poole on

Name? Barbara Goodwin

Hometown? Orange County, California

Base? LAX

How many years have you been a flight attendant? 32

Tell me about your book, Hiding in Plain Sight? It’s a romantic suspense novel about a flight attendant who foils a drug running operation at her airline and has to go undercover with the DEA to find who is the head of the ring. It’s a book for the baby boomers as I think they, too, deserve romance in their lives.

I’ve read the book and it’s good! You’re a very good writer. Hours flown this month? It would be 84, but I have jury duty so I’m not flying 2 trips.

Last flight? JFK-LAX

Galley or Aisle? Galley (as much as possible!)

Thank goodness for people like you! I’m an aisle girl, myself. You’ve got to be organized to work in the galley. First class, business class, or coach? First Class (also as much as possible!)

Widebody or Narrowbody? Widebody

Of course. Favorite airplane? 767

Regular Route? LAX-JFK-LAX

I met you on a flight from LA to NY, only I was commuting and you were working the business class galley. Dream Trip? I’m flying my dream trip. I love the Transcons and have done them for 12 years. I meet the most fascinating people as well as many celebrities and no leg of the trip is the same.

Nightmare Trip? ORD-SFO-ORD. A passenger went berserk, stabbed a pregnant passenger in her arm, the nearest men climbed over seats to go to her rescue and 3 were injured, all stabbed. An older man on the flight had a heart attack watching that unfold inflight.

Oh my, that is the worst “worst trip ever” story I’ve ever heard. And you’re still flying… Just goes to show how much we love our jobs. Moving on, what exactly is in your rollaboard? Lol! Okay, let’s see. Pajamas, undies, 2 blouses, jeans, tennis shoes, socks, sweater. Travel pillow, alarm clock, earplugs, slippers, charging cord for my cell phone, shoe polish.

Shoe polish? I’ve never heard that before. What about your tote bag? Makeup bag, uniform sweater for the always cold First Class galley, galley gloves, passenger restraint tape (actually, duct tape. Hey! I didn’t name it that…), masking tape, water bottle, 3 books, 2 of mine to show or sell, one I’m reading and assorted papers.Any packing tips/tricks? None. I’m still trying to figure out how to pack after all these years. My twin sister even gave me a book on packing for Christmas one year. It didn’t seem to work for me.

I have yet to meet a flight attendant who knows how to pack. Favorite brand of pantyhose? Nordstrom’s.

Best brand/type of in-flight shoes? Monroe

What brand/type of work shoes do you wear through the terminal? Ugly, boring flats. If my feet hurt, I’m not a happy flight attendant, so I compromise and go for comfort.

I hear ya! Any airport routines? Sign in, check my mail box, get a decaf Starbucks and yak with my friends

Nicest Airport? I don’t really have one.

Worst Airport ? Miami

It seems people either love it or hate it. Favorite Airport restaurant? Oops, sorry, none. I’ve only been at 2 airports, LAX and JFK for the past decade.

What kinds of snacks do you carry with you on the airplane? Weight Watchers bars, Trader Joe’s Cliff bars, string cheese, apples, and a thing I make called baked oatmeal. They’re oatmeal squares, easy to pack and don’t get too smashed.

Hotel away from home? The Roosevelt in Manhattan .

Best layover city? New York! When I’m in New York I love to eat at Carmines in Times Square with a bunch of friends from the crew

I’m a big fan of Carmines, too. Their salad is amazing. Favorite in-flight announcement? Flight attendants prepare for landing.

Book / Magazine last read on the jumpseat? Everlasting by Kathleen Woodiwiss

Most annoying passenger question? Are you sure my bag won’t fit in the overhead bin?

If there’s one thing we know, besides uncomfortable seats and bad food, it’s baggage. Ever hook up with a pilot? Yes, many moons ago.

How about a passenger? Never.

Favorite vacation spot? Maui because of the wonderful sunsets. I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t go away on vacation, I love to write my books then.

Finish the following sentences:

I can’t fly without my… iPhone

On my last flight… I closed the galley curtain and didn’t realize I cut off the heat vent so
I froze in the galley.

Once a passenger…. On his way to the bathroom heard me asking another flight attendant if she would date someone much younger. He told me he would have turned off his computer if he’d known we were having such a fun discussion.

Once a pilot... told me that reading a few paragraphs of my book Hiding in Plain Sight was turning him on. That was fun!

Once a flight attendant... decided to read one of my love scenes out loud to some other flight attendants working the trip and turned beet red. I told her the scenes were not to be read out loud!

Why do passengers... tell flight attendants to smile?

When it comes to traveling, I wish... People would have patience with those around them.

If I could be anywhere in the world, I’d … be right where I am, at home.

Any advice for travelers? Check your bag. If they can’t do that…pack light.

Next flight? What else? LAX-JFK!

To read more about Barbara and her books visit her website – barbaragoodwin.com

Galley Gossip: Passenger of the month – Author Thant Myint-U

by Heather Poole on

Name? Thant Myint-U

Where do you live? Right now in Bangkok, but before that in NYC for many years.

Bangkok, wow! Pretend I’m a tourist and I’ve just asked you to recommend a few places to check out while I’m visiting Bangkok, places you actually go to, what would you suggest? The Vertigo bar on top of the Banyan Tree hotel (pictured below), the Oriental Spa at the Oriental Hotel, the Tea Room at the Erawan Hyatt Hotel

Sounds nice. You write books, right? Hmmmm. It’s a little complicated. Most of the next six months I’ll be writing a new book. I’ve also worked for the UN more than ten years on and off, and taught history for a while at Cambridge University.

Tell me about your most recent book, The River of Lost Footsteps. It’s partly a history of Burma (which is where my family is from) and an attempt to introduce Americans and others to Burma’s incredibly colorful and exciting history. It’s also partly an autobiography, a travel book, and the story of my family over the past two hundred years.

Ever write about something you’ve seen on a flight? Yes. Well a little bit. In the RoLF I mention my first long flight on Pan Am from New York to Bangkok (and then to Rangoon) in 1974. We flew first class and had to go NY-Frankfurt-Istanbul-Teheran-Dehli-Bangkok-Rangoon. There was a bar and a big movie screen. It was such a long flight with so many stops I still remember the itinerary (even though I was only eight years old then).

Are you working on a new book? It’s called “The Hidden Map of Asia”. But can’t say anything more, other than that it should be published in a year’s time.

City you spend the most time in? Bangkok, about half my time this year.

Where do you travel the most often? All over Asia, Europe and the East Coast. My main cities last year were NY, London, Reykjavik, Oslo, Berlin, Stockholm, Beijing, Kathmandu, Rangoon and Bangkok.

Miles flown this year? Not sure, over 100,000.

Do you remember your very first flight? I think it was when we went to Jamaica when I was four (with my parents and my little sister). Don’t remember very much about it though. I think it was TWA.

You’ve been traveling your entire life! What about your last flight? I bet you can remember that. Rangoon to Bangkok last week. On Thai International (which is one of only a few airlines that fly to Burma these days). Only an hour. Great Thai food though and champagne. I take it many times a year. Always full. And Buddhist monks get automatically bumped up to business.

I did not know about Buddhist monks getting automatically upgraded to business class. That’s very interesting. Unfortunately, I’m sad to report, I do not believe we do that here in the States. So what Type / brand of luggage do you own? Globetrotter hard case (I have two sizes, one carry-on and one bigger)

Check it or Carry on? I usually check-in if it’s for a trip that’s more than a couple of days.

Checking your luggage does make flying a lot less stressful, but you have to get to the airport early and be prepared to wait at baggage claim. Window or Aisle? Aisle. I get claustrophobic in the window seat unless it’s a business class seat where you can easily get out without squeezing past the other person.

I’m an aisle girl myself. I think most people are. Any favorite seat in particular? Business class seat on Singapore long-haul (Singapore-NY 19 hours). I just watch a movie, eat, sleep for nine hours, wake up, eat, watch a movie and I’m there.

You actually make a long flight sound do-able. Something to Drink? Diet coke or champagne.

Beef or Chicken? I guess chicken

You don’t sound too enthusiastic. I guess you pack snacks? Never done that!

So what exactly is in your carry on bag? My laptop, papers, newspapers, books.

Any packing tips/tricks? I travel superlight. Sometimes just an old leather briefcase with a couple of extra shirts and socks and toiletries for a few days.

Describe your traveling outfit. Depends on what’s going to happen at the other end. I might wear a suit if it’s a short trip and I have a meeting to go to. And usually wear a blazer with jeans on a long trip.

Best shoes to wear through airport security? I more or less have only lace-ups so I just wear whatever I have to wear and don’t think too much about security hassles. In Asia it’s different. Very short lines. And you don’t have to take off your shoes.

Any airport routines? I always get a massage at the Thai Airways business lounge in Bangkok.

It’s official, I want to be you. Best airline/experience? I actually like the super long flights. No phone, no blackberry, no internet. I read and watch movies and don’t have to worry that I’m missing anything. The best views by far were in Nepal, flying right up against the Himalayas.

You make travel sound amazing. Most memorable experience onboard a flight? During the Bosnian war I used to fly every few weeks from Zagreb to Sarajevo (I was serving in a UN peacekeeping operation), and once or twice our planes got shot at as we approached Sarajevo airport.

That’s crazy! How about the nicest airport? There are so many nice ones in Asia now. Beijing is probably the most impressive. The one in Rangoon is probably the most surprisingly nice – brand new, efficient, easy.

Okay I’m ready to move to Asia. Favorite Airport restaurant? Hardly ever eat in an airport restaurant, actually.

Hotel away from home? These past few months it’s been the Chatrium in Rangoon (at least four weeks there altogether). I’ve been at a little guesthouse in Reykjavik a lot too.

Most luxurious hotel you’ve ever experienced? Hard to say, over the past year probably the Pimalai on Koh Lanta (an island beach resort) in southern Thailand and the Four Seasons in Bangkok.

Favorite in-flight announcement? We’re arriving early. Or we’re ready to take off and you look around and they’re lots of empty seats. Or the local weather is 70 degrees and sunny.

Oh I like those! Especially the part about the empty seats. When passengers are comfortable, they’re happy, and when they’re happy, flight attendants are happy, which makes for an amazing flight. Book / magazine last read on a flight? Financial Times.

Favorite travel book(s)? Pretty much anything by VS Naipaul or Paul Theroux.

You did recommend that I read The Old Patagonian Express, by Paul Theroux, and not only did I read it, it’s now one of my favorite books. It inspired me as a writer and a traveler. Where did you go on your last vacation? Trekking in the Himalayas

Tell me about your favorite destination? I’m always happy to go to Rangoon, which is where my family’s from – I’ve never lived there properly but have gone nearly every year since I was very young. It’s been so isolated but is still an amazingly cosmopolitan city – with Buddhist pagodas, mosques, Baptist churches, synagogues, and people from all across Asia, beautiful, with an incredible (and often very violent) history, and great food.

Now finish the following sentences…

I can’t fly without my…reading material

Once this passenger I sat next to…turned out to be a famous network news anchor.

If I could be anywhere in the world, I’d be…on the beach in Burma

When it comes to traveling, I wish…I didn’t have any luggage

Next flight? – Kuala Lumpur, for the day, in ten days.


Vertigo Bar at the Banyan Tree Hotel in Bangkok…

Galley Gossip: A question about packing (it’s all about the shoes!)

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

Love your blog and your web site! I laugh all the time. I usually only fly once a year for a cruise, but when I do I always see people doing what you write about and I laugh. I also try to remember to do and not do what you write about. I’ve never had a bad experience with flight staff or any flight for that matter. I’m about to go on vacation and I do have a question about luggage. With all the restrictions on checked luggage, I’m trying to make the most of my carry on bags. I’ve called the airline and they refer my questions to TSA and TSA refers me to the web site or the airline (talk about run around), but some answers are not on TSA or the airline’s web site. For instance – can hair dryers, flat irons and travel irons go in your carry on? My usual carry on fits nicely in the overhead compartment, but how big of a bag can I fit under the seat? (I’ll be on a Continental 757-200 and 737-900 ) Trying to keep the weight of my checked bag down, I would like to use a bigger under the seat bag for shoes and such. The 3-1-1 rule is that per person or per carry on? I try to book a hotel near shopping so I don’t have to transport toiletries, etc. but I also hate packing that stuff in my checked bag for fear they would leak (I wrap them well and seal them in zip locks and cosmetic bags but you just never know). Any information you can give me would be helpful. Thanks and keep up the great blogging. I love it.
Debbie

Dear Debbie,

First of all, I’m glad to hear you like my blog. I’m even happier to hear you’ve never had a problem with a flight staff or on any flight for that matter. You’re one of the few.

Hair dryers, flat irons and travel irons can go inside your carry on luggage. Though I must ask why you are hauling a travel iron along with you on a trip? Do you really want to lug that thing around and then spend your precious time ironing on vacation when you could be relaxing on vacation – in wrinkle free clothes? Isn’t that what vacation is for? Relaxing. Not ironing. Personally, I’d rather not iron, and that’s why I wear the navy blue polyester dress when I’m working. However, whenever I do bring along something that must be ironed, I just hang it up in the shower and let the steam take care of the wrinkles. Now if you must take the iron with you, I guess I should tell you about a pilot I know who sprays his uniform shirts with starch before packing them inside his suitcase. He said it works.

I’m sorry to hear you’re getting the run around from the airline and TSA, but my guess is TSA is telling you to go to the airline website because every airline is different and has their own set of rules about how much luggage you can bring on-board and what it will cost to check each piece of luggage. I bet the airline is sending you to the TSA website because their rules are different from the airlines rules in regards to what you can and can not take through airport security. Me, I’d play it safe and leave the liquids at home, like you said, check one bag (if it’s too large to bring onboard with you) and take a smaller bag on the airplane.

Because you sound concerned about your bag fitting under your seat, it sounds like your bag may be a wee bit big. Just so you know, my crew tote-bag doesn’t always fit under the seat in front of me. It all depends on the airplane and how much I’ve managed to stuff inside my tote. While most of the time my bag does fit under the seat without a problem, I have had an issue on the 737, but all I had to do was take out a few books, the big bottle of water I had bought in the airport terminal after I passed through security (don’t forget to purchase yours!), turn my bag on its side and give it a good shove. Whatever you do, do not over pack and make sure that the bag going under the seat in front of you is squishable.

Packing for a long trip isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be hard, either. The tricky part, if you’re a woman, is figuring out which shoes you’re going to take with you, because when you’re a woman it’s all about the shoes. Am I wrong? Shoes take up too much space in the bag. That’s why I’m going to tell you to leave all those shoes you’ve packed in your smaller bag at home. I mean do you really need all of them?

Now I’m not the most fashionable person on vacation, but I do manage to have a good time and look okay doing so. The key is picking out only two pairs of shoes (a nice pair and a walking pair) to take with you and then coordinating all your outfits around them. If you’re smart you’ll be able to wear both pairs of shoes with most of your outfits. Whenever I’m going on a long trip, I pack two pairs of nice pants and two pairs of jeans (or cargo pants). When it comes to my shirts I always stick with basic colors – black, white and maybe even brown. That way I’m able to mix and match all my pieces which creates even more outfits. I use colorful accessories to dress it up or down.

See that photo over there on the right? Those are my shoes. That’s what I wore in Italy – a beat up pair of slip on canvas shoes and a pair of black boots. I made sure to wear the boots whenever traveling because my walking shoes took up less space in my bag. (Shove a few pairs of socks inside the shoes to save even more room.) Of course I packed everything for my ten day trip to Italy inside my crew luggage – a rollaboard and a tote-bag -that’s it. No need to check bags. Don’t forget, less bags equals less stress. You want to have fun, right?

The only reason I was able to make it through those ten days in Italy with only one suitcase and a tote-bag was because I rolled my clothes tightly, which resulted in me being able to pack even more clothing, I found a laundromat in Venice, which allowed me to get to know the locals and feel like a true Venetian, and I only took two pairs of shoes, which made it possible for me to get it all in one rolling bag, which is why I was able to swing my tote over my shoulder and carry that one very heavy bag up the Spanish Steps in Rome as if I were super woman in black boots.

A word of advice; If you can’t carry it (or lift it) by yourself, don’t pack it, don’t take it, otherwise you may not enjoy your trip. I had to learn that the hard way.

Hope that helps, Debbie. Enjoy your cruise! And make sure to take me with you next time.

Heather Poole

Have a question? Email me at Skydoll123@yahoo.com

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Galley Gossip: My Bollywood Valentine’s Day

by Heather Poole on

There we were, the husband and I, standing up in a dark movie theater with a huge smile across our faces. We had gone to see the movie Slumdog Millionaire and were just about to leave, but when the credits began rolling the Bollywood dancers started to move their bodies in sync.

“Wait, I want to see this!” my husband exclaimed as I began to walk up the aisle.

“Really?” I asked, even though I already knew his response would be, yes, really! What I didn’t want to see was my husband doing those same Bollywood dance moves later that night. He can’t help himself. That’s why I love him.

As I stood there watching the dancers perform the “go away” dance move, as my husband calls it, a move that requires one hand to flutter from the front of the face to the back of the head, I immediately flashed back to another time in my life, back to the days when I was single and used to work the New York – San Jose route.

Why would an amazing film like Slumdog Millionaire remind me of a San Jose trip? Because we used to layover in Fremont, California – not San Jose, California. It was cheaper, I guess. Have you ever been to Fremont? Let’s just say I spent many layovers eating wonderful curries, drinking delicious chai tea, and checking out the local video store for a Bollywood movie I once worked on eight years ago called Mehbooba starring Sanjay Dutt, a movie I never did find.

Oh yes, that’s right, yours truly is not only a mother / flight attendant / writer, but also a not so famous ex Bollywood actress. In the movie Mehbooba, a film that was shot in New York City and other amazing places around the world, I’m just an extra. I’m the girl wearing the red dress on the boat, which is actually the same boat that was used in the movie The Mosquito Coast starring Harrison Ford. While I lounged on the wooden deck, Sanjay Dutt actually kissed me on the cheek. I do hope they didn’t cut that part out.

For the record, Mehbooba means my beloved. My husband actually had it engraved on my wedding band. Only he spelled it wrong – Mehabooba. Just a random fact about me.

Another random fact about me, I don’t like Valentine’s Day. There’s just to much pressure to have fun and fall in love and spend too much money doing so – just to be let down in the end.

My dislike for Valentine’s Day began in elementary school. That’s where, each year, I was forced to decorate a tissue box with construction paper in shades of red, pink and white on the day of love. A person can’t help but get excited about what they’re going to find in their box at the end of the day, even if that person is only ten years old! Of course my box never overflowed with hearts and candy the way those of my classmates did.

Then, years later, I gave my college boyfriend a special gift. I don’t remember what it was, but what I do remember is what he gave me. Nothing. He was too busy breaking up with me – not just once, but twice, on two different Valentine’s Days! What can I say, some people just have to be slapped in the face with rejection!

After college I dated an engineer who wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day the day after – on the 15th. Or the 13th would’ve worked, too. “It’s cheaper that way,” he’d said matter of fact. Of course now that I’m older and wiser I see the logic in that, but back then it only made me hate the day even more.

Though I do have many bad memories, there was one Valentine’s Day I did actually enjoy. It happened in Fremont, California of all places. And it may even have to go down as one of the most fun nights of my life. My date that night at the Bollywood disco after a scrumptious dinner at an Indian buffet was Katherine, the flight attendant working in first class with me that month of February in 2001.

I had just planned on having another not so great Valentine’s Day, which is why I had opted to work that day, but Katherine decided to take matters into her own hands. She started asking passengers if they could fix us up with someone – anyone! Who lived in Fremont. You have to understand that Katherine was the kind of person who could say anything and get away with it. I think the British accent had a lot to do with that. While we did make quite a few of our passengers laugh, we never did get set up, and eventually found ourselves alone drinking chai tea as we celebrated together in a coffee shop across the street from our Fremont layover hotel.

“Why don’t you two come along with me!” said the owner of the shop. He’d been eavesdropping in on our conversation. “Just pay me gas money.”

So that’s what we did. We paid our new friend gas money and he took us to a private party not too far away. Katherine and I danced the night away to music we’d never heard before, nor have I heard since, and we learned dance moves that only my husband could appreciate. Of course back then he wasn’t around to appreciate them. No one was. Just Katherine.

On the flight back to New York Katherine stood in the first class galley wearing her pin striped apron and looked me square in the eye, and said, and she said this very seriously, “Heather, you were the best date I’ve ever had.”

Of couse I felt the same way about her. The sad thing is I never did see my special Valentine’s date again after that wonderful month working together. I heard Katherine quit flying shortly after 9/11. A lot of flight attendants did.

So now that I’m married to a wonderful man who has spectacular dance moves of his own, a passenger I actually met on a flight from New York to Los Angeles just a few months after 9/11, and now that we have a beautiful two year-old son who travels so often he calls his belt a seatbelt and prefers to keep it fastened at all times, things have changed for the better. Valentine’s Day is no longer about me. It’s about us.

This year the three of us will be celebrating together at home. I don’t know what we’re going to do, but I do know that mommy and daddy will be spending a romantic evening out alone on the 12th instead of the 14th this year. You better believe my husband will be getting a copy of the Slumdog Millionaire CD, as well as the just released Mehbooba DVD! Yes, it took eight years, but it’s out, the movie is finally out, and my poor husband will be forced to watch it!

Photos courtesy of (Bollywood dancers) Fikirbaz (Mehbooba) the official Mehbooba website (Valentine’s box) Msabcmom