Galley Gossip: A question about why flight attendants are fat, old, grumpy, lazy and ugly

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

Here’s another you hate to hear but I will say it anyway… Why is it that US domestic flight attendants are so much more fat, grumpy, lazy and uglier than their foreign counterparts? They are ALL drop dead gorgeous, smile and don’t ask me for any money when I fly with them. Why is that?

Big Daddy

Dear Big Daddy,

Why am I not surprised that a question like this is coming from a person addressing himself as Big Daddy? Why is it that I shake my head as I read this question and wonder just how big Big Daddy is and whether or not Big Daddy is fatter, grumpier, lazier, or uglier than his foreign counterparts? Does Big Daddy not realize that flight attendants are people, too, and that a flight attendant has every right to grow older and get a little fatter and uglier as the years go by, and that a flight attendant can remain a flight attendant as long as he/she can perform the job? Doesn’t big Daddy realize that flight attendants are allowed the same rights as passengers?

Perhaps Big Daddy doesn’t know that the flight attendants working the US Airways flight that landed in the Hudson River last month were all senior flight attendants in their 50’s. Does Big Daddy honestly believe that all of the passengers who were evacuated safely off that flight and onto the wings and into the slide / rafts in freezing temperature really cared whether or not their flight attendants had hips a tad bit bigger, or a belly slightly larger, or faces not quite as pretty as their foreign counterparts? What is it, Big Daddy, that brings out such backwards thinking in people? And what will become of our foreign counterparts when they, too, get older and fatter and uglier, Big Daddy?

Just a couple questions, Big Daddy – are you married? Do you have children? Run with a good group of friends? If so, do you judge them as lesser than if they’re fatter and older than their foreign counterparts? So why are flight attendants any different?

As far as only experiencing grumpy flight attendants on board your flights, I only know what I know, and what I know is I always try to be kind and friendly with my passengers, always making small talk while serving drinks and doing whatever I can with what little is provided. Most of my passengers deplane with a smile on their face. I say most, not all, because one person can only do so much for 160 passengers (or more).

As far as lazy flight attendants go, there’s only so much a flight attendant can do in this day and age of travel besides offer a drink and apologize because we don’t have this and we don’t have that to a full flight of miserably cramped passengers. I’m sorry the airlines have had to drastically change due to the weak economy. I’m sorry that I have to constantly say I’m sorry. And I’m sorry you feel the level of service and the looks of your attendant are inferior. I’m sorry, always sorry.

But at a time when companies are going under, my airline is still flying strong. I’m proud of that. Even if that means I have to ask you to pay for your headset, alcoholic beverage and snack. At a time when companies are cutting back, my airline has yet to lay off within the last few years. I’m proud of that. Even if that means there are no more pillows and peanuts and the average age of a flight attendant is forty years-old due to the fact that we haven’t hired in years.

If all that matters to you, Big Daddy, when choosing an airline is a gorgeous flight attendant who smiles and doesn’t ask you for money, than yes, our foreign counterparts are by far superior. I hope that answered your question. If you have another question email me at Skydoll123@yahoo.com.

Happy travels,

Heather Poole

Photos courtesy of (black and white flight attendant) Alexindigo, (flight attendants) praziquantel – flickr

Galley Gossip: 10 things a flight attendant does on reserve

by Heather Poole on

1. Complain about being on reserve to any flight attendant who will listen. There’s nothing worse for a flight attendant than being on reserve. Don’t believe me? Ask a flight attendant on reserve. Go ahead, ask, I dare you. Just don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.

2. Sit in PJ’s half the day waiting for crew schedule to call. Some days it’s half a day and other days it’s all day. When my number is low, meaning there’s a good chance crew schedule is going to call me out to cover a trip, I’ve been known to change out of my PJ’s and into a fresh pair of PJ’s at the end of the day.

3. Calls in sick. While I don’t call in sick on reserve, however tempting it may be (I’m too scared), I can’t say the same for most other flight attendants. A few flight attendants I know actually save medical and dental procedures during reserve months.

4. Sock and underwear drawer get a complete makeover. This month I actually did clean out my sock and underwear drawer, as well as the closet. I found clothing I never even knew I had, clothing I wondered why, exactly, I had, like an animal print sundress I bought on the streets of Costa Rica nine years ago. And to think I actually wore it.

5. Work trips I would never fly in a million years. Flight attendants have a tendency to work the same trips over and over. That’s what seniority is all about. You better believe I like working in coach from New York to whichever west coast city layover I can hold on the 767. But on reserve you’ll most likely find me on the Super80 working a turn in first from New York – Chicago. Nothing against Chicago, but an eight hour day ain’t worth five hours pay.

6. Spend time explaining to everyone that I’m not off, that I really am working, I’m just on call. Which is why I’m still in my PJ’s and not leaving the house. Just because I’m not actually on the airplane doesn’t mean I can have a life.

7. Watch the Weather Channel. When there’s bad weather, crews go illegal, and when crews go illegal, reserve flight attendants get called out to cover their trips. I watch the Weather Channel in order to figure out what crew schedule is going to do, so I know whether or not I’ll get a good night sleep and whether or not I dare get dressed and leave the apartment in the morning.

8. Sit on the sofa with the laptop and drinking coffee while bouncing between Gadling, Facebook and the flight service website to check open time and relative position for hours on end. What else am I going to do? I’m stuck.

9. Gets a trip and then goes into flight operations and asks every flight attendant how many hours they have on reserve. The last time I checked Grace had 40 hours. My mom had 42. Flo had 45. I had 47. I won – er, lost!

10. Look forward to days off. Thank goodness they’re finally here and reserve is officially over! It’s back to the 767 for me.

Photos courtesy of (pj’s) Jamelch, (weather channel) Dave Malkoff – flickr.com

Galley Gossip: Lindsay Lohan throws a fit when she’s denied a first class seat!

by Heather Poole on

Lindsay Lohan caused “chaos” at the airport in Tampa, Florida on Saturday morning when she was denied a first class seat on an overbooked flight, reports The Huffington Post. Chaos, their word, not mine, is a word that makes me wonder, just what kind of chaos could little old Lindsay create at the airport surrounded by hundreds of passengers?

Do they mean that she stood hovering over the ticket agent until the agent solved her problem, not allowing other passengers to check in? I see passengers do that all the time. Do they mean that she got upset when she didn’t get a seat in the cabin she bought a ticket in? Well she spent a lot of money on that ticket! Wouldn’t you get upset if you purchased something you did not receieve? Why should Lindsay be judged more harshly than we judge each other just because she’s a celebrity?

Trust me when I tell you that quite a few passengers, and I’m talking about the non-celebrity kind, complain about things that are even more ridiculous than not getting the first class seat they bought. A few months ago a passenger threw a fit because he was seated in the last row of coach. I’m sorry, I know it’s not a good seat, but SOMEONE has to sit there, maybe even you. I mean why not you? Am I wrong?

Was Lindsay wrong when she stomped her feet and told a friend traveling with her that they better come back to coach and visit her in case she dies?

You do see where I’m going with this, don’t you? Passengers can be a bit melodramtic, even celebrity passengers, when they walk on board a flight and things don’t go their way. Does that mean we have the right to criticize? I don’t know, you decide.

Maybe Lindsay behaved a little childish. Then again, maybe not. Lindsay is a celebrity and people do hound celebrities. A few years ago I had to practically stand between first class and coach the entire flight to keep passengers from bothering Magic Johnson, who, I must say, was one of the nicest passengers (celebrity or not) I’ve ever met. And last week I saw Toni Collette run through the John F. Kennedy airport holding Sage, her beautiful baby girl. The only reason I recognized her was because of the swarm of paparazzi following fast behind her to the first class check-in counter. Then a few days later I saw Jeff Goldblum placing a backpack on the conveyor belt and walking in striped socks through the security check point at the Los Angeles International Airport. The only reason I noticed him was because of all the flash bulbs going off behind me and passengers pointing their cell phones at him – click click! People have a thing for celebrities. And I’ll admit I’m one of them.

Remember that passenger I mentioned above, the one who didn’t want to sit in the last row, he also stomped his feet and threw a fit, and then he demanded that I find another passenger to sit in his seat, that I move him up to the front of the aircraft, but only an aisle seat would do! No one was swarming him. In fact, just the opposite was happening aboard that flight.

“But Sir,” I said, glancing around the cabin at all the passengers sitting in front of him who were shaking their heads no at me. “The flight is full. I can’t make someone sit in your seat just because you don’t want to sit there.”

“You’re a professional, do your job!” he demanded.

Even though we are professionals, there’s only so much a flight attendant can do on a full flight. If I have time, meaning I am not busy doing my inflight duties that need to be done before the aircraft can back away from the gate, I will ask people if they’re willing to move, but I can not make anyone move. Oh I’ll do my best, especially if children are involved, but you can’t get picky when it comes to the seat.

Now my question to Linds is why didn’t her friend in first class switch seats with her? I bet if she’d arrived to the airport and checked in a little bit earlier, she wouldn’t have had this problem. Then again, I wasn’t there and I do not know all the details. Who knows what really happened that day?

What I do know is eventually Lindsay was moved up to first class. I’m glad that she got her seat. She paid for it. She deserved it. Anyway, It’s not that she doesn’t want to sit in coach, or that coach is beneath her, it’s just who wants to be surrounded by 200 passengers analyzing her every move, like the Huffington Post did? Like we’re doing right now. That’s why I’m siding with Lindsay on this one!

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Photo courtesy of (Lindsay Lohan) The Curse of Brian, (Magic Johnson) Malingering – flickr.com

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Galley Gossip: Flight attendant of the month – a retired New York City detective

by Heather Poole on

Name? Kieran

Base? LGA (New York)

What did you do before you became a flight attendant? NYC Detective 23 years, Insurance Fraud Investigator 7 Years

No way! I’m impressed. So what exactly made you want to become a flight attendant? I saw an ad for open house at LGA Marriott.They were looking for flight attendants for New York only. I went with my resume and I figured even if I didn’t get the job, I might get a date. I got the job that day and the date years later.

Not just a date, Kieran, but a fiance! (His fiance is also a flight attendant.) Last flight? Las Vegas

That was the trip we worked together, which was a very nice flight. Hours flown this month? 50 hours this month

Galley or aisle? I like to work first class on the 757, S80, 737, and aisle on 767.

Thank goodness there’s you, because I’m an aisle girl myself. First class, business class, or coach? All classes

On the widebody or narrowbody? I like widebody but if something else with a nice layover shows up, I’ll fly that.

Favorite airplane? 767 and 737

Regular Route? I have been doing Las Vegas the last couple of months but I will probably fly whatever my seniority holds.

Dream Trip? Long San Francisco layover

Nightmare Trip? Seattle

I thought I was the only person who didn’t love the Seattle flight. Craziest thing that ever happened on a trip? It was a 767 San Francisco to New York trip. The plane was taking off and about ten seconds into lift off, this women screams and runs to the back of the plane where I am (simply out of fear of flying). I yelled “sit down you crazy nut” and she sat on the floor next to me until we leveled off. I recommended she take a greyhound bus on her return trip home.

That’s why I always recommend that passengers who are afraid to fly book seats near the front of the aircraft because there’s less turbulence. Tell me, what exactly is in your rollaboard? Shirt, pants, underwear,socks ,jacket and shaving kit.

That’s it? Any packing tips/tricks? I am the worst packer

Me, too. My bag always looks like it’s going to explode. Nicest airport? Las Vegas

Worst airport? Miami and Dallas

I take it you don’t enjoy walking three miles between connecting flights. Favorite airport restaurant? Figs at La Guardia

Any traveling snacks? no

A flight attendant without snacks? I don’t believe it. Hotel away from home? Sherry Frontenac

Favorite in-flight announcement? “Ladies and gentlemen the front door of the aircraft has been closed so if you have a blackberry,blueberry ,cranberry strawberry,banana, cantaloupe and it has an on and off switch or a battery you must turn it off. I will let you know when you may use approved electronics when we are in flight.”

Book / Magazine last read on the jumpseat? Collected poems of Robert Service

So you’re a romantic! I had no idea. Most annoying passenger question? “Where are we?” My answer is usually “In a big airplane high up in the air” Then I ask the captain.

Kieran and his fiance (who is also a flight attendant)

Flight attendants are a part of the history for work equality

by Jamie Rhein on

When the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act passed this week, there were echoes of women in the past who have worked for equitable pay and fair work practices. Flight attendants have a long history of pushing for such fairness.

One of the first flight attendants, one might say, was Katharine Wright a suffragette, and the Wright brother’s sister. She was the second woman to ever fly when she accompanied Wilbur on a flight in Pau, France to show that flying was safe for everyone. If it wasn’t for her, their success may not have been as great as it was. As women cast their eye upwards, they became part of the fabric of social and economic justice.

Here’s a timeline of flight attendants breaking the glass ceiling of the sky:

1945– First labor union of flight attendants in the U.S. was formed. The Air Line Stewardess Association (ALSA) worked for pay raises, duty limits and the right to see personal records among other things.

1957– Mohawk Airlines hired the first African American stewardess. Ruth Carol Taylor was the first African American stewardess, paving the way for others. TWA was the first major airlines to hire a black stewardess after Mohawk Airlines’ action.

1960s– Fought against airlines’ policies that flight attendants retire at age 30 to 35, but without success. Made some headway with the passing of Title VII, The Civil Rights Act. One part of the act forbade discrimination in the work place based n sex. By the late 60s, airlines dropped the age discrimination policy and the policy that said flight attendants couldn’t be married.

1972– A group of flight attendants formed Stewardesses for Women’s Rights and began to protest sexist treatment of stewardesses. Airline campaigns like “Fly Me,” (National’s) were seen as deeming and the sexy images of stewardesses being pushed to sell flying were seen as a way to keep women from being treated as equal to men and affected their ability to do their job effectively. What was their main job? Assure passenger safety.

1974 – Association of Flight Attendants formed in a separate union from Transport Workers Union which was male dominated. Union began to challenge airlines policies on maternity and weight restrictions.

Also in the 1970s, continued their long battle to be seen as recognition as safety professionals. There was a continued push for flight attendants to have some sort of certification program to prove their qualifications as having specialized skills.

2003– After September 11, 2001, proof that flight attendants were indeed safety professionals was evident. Congress mandated a licensing program for flight attendants.

So, now we know why Gadling’s own Heather Poole can save our lives, and have a child, and be married, and not have to worry about losing her job as she gets older–just because she’s getting older or gains a few pounds. Not too shabby.

[Facts found in Femininity in Flight: A History of Flight Attendants, page on “Flight Attendants & Labor History.”]