Hotel Madness: No airport shuttle vs. One ply toilet paper

by Mike Barish on
The first round of Hotel Madness rolls along with a battle between #5 seed No airport shuttle and #12 seed One-ply toilet paper. In the NCAA basketball tournament, the 5-12 match-ups are always ripe for upsets and Hotel Madness may be no different. It’s such a hassle when there’s no airport shuttle. Having to pay for an expensive cab ride or navigating a foreign public transportation system just to get from the airport to your hotel can be a pain in the butt. However, once that’s done, you never think about it again. Meanwhile, the strong #12 seed One-ply toilet paper rubs you the wrong way for the length of your trip, meaning it’s an actual pain in your butt. It tears too soon as you’re tugging at the roll, it rips as you wipe and it shows the hotel’s blatant disregard for your behind.

Read more about these two tournament entrants below and then vote for the one that deserves to advance to the second round.

(5) No Airport Shuttle
Good news: you’re not in a city that requires you to have your own car! No need to worry about parking, gas or drinking. All you need to do is get yourself to the hotel, get settled in and turn that town inside out. So, you’ll just hop on the shuttle bus and be in that jacuzzi in no time, right? Yeah, about that bus. It doesn’t exist. You can take a cab, though. Or public transportation. The hotel is just two bus transfers, six lightrail stops and a four mile walk from the airport. Easy enough for someone who’s never been to this city. Also, public transportation stops at 11pm. Hope you have cab fare!

(12) One-Ply Toilet Paper
Travel wreaks havoc on your stomach. From the strange food to hours spent on airplanes, your GI tract just doesn’t fire on all cylinders when you’re away from home (or, if you’re really unlucky, it fires on a few extra cylinders). When the time comes to use the bathroom in your hotel, you’re already uncomfortable because you’ve lost your home toilet advantage. The last thing you need is toilet paper that you can see through. Amazingly, even the nicest “five star” hotels provide the cheapest, thinnest, one-ply toilet paper available. If you’re hotel doesn’t respect your butt then it doesn’t respect you.

Are you more upset by the lack of airport transportation or thin, useless toilet paper? Will we see a classic upset of a #12 over a #5? Vote now!

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First round voting ends at 11:59EDT on Sunday, March 20.

More Hotel Madness action:
#1 No free Wi-Fi vs. #16 Annoying hotel TV channel
#2 Bad front desk service vs. #15 Everything about TV remotes
#3 Expensive parking vs. #14 Tightly tucked-in sheets
#4 Resort fees vs. #13 Early housekeeping visits
#6 No free breakfast vs. #11 Expensive minibars
#7 Bad water pressure vs. #10 Small towels
#8 Room not ready on time vs. #9 Early checkout times

Follow along with the Hotel Madness tournament here.

Hotel Madness: Resort fees vs. Early housekeeping visits

by Mike Barish on
Continuing the first round of the Hotel Madness tournament, #4 seed Resort fees takes on #13 seed Early housekeeping visits. Resort fees are a strong contender because they take money out of our wallets and – unlike parking fees – we have no idea what we’re paying for. Popular in Las Vegas, resort fees are a mystery and wreak havoc on our travel budgets. Meanwhile, sleeping in should be one of the luxurious of leisure travel. Why, then, are we constantly woken up by the housekeeping staff while we’re still sleeping off last night’s trip to the midnight buffet?

Read up on both of this strong Hotel Madness peeves below and then vote for the one that you want to see advance to the next round.

(4) Resort Fees
It’s check-in time! You’ve paid $200 for your room. That, of course, doesn’t include all applicable taxes. Taxes are inevitable, as they say, so you don’t mind those too much. It’s all part of life on the road. So, you paid the room rate and taxes. You’re good to go, right? Well, not so fast. There’s a $15 per night Resort Fee on top of all that. What does that Resort Fee cover? Your guess is as good as ours. You have to pay separately for your meals, movies, minibar, parking and just about everything else. Best to just curse under your breath, sign the check-in agreement and sulk off to your room.

(13) Early Housekeeping Visits
You’ve barely been asleep long enough to mess up your sheets and housekeeping is knocking on the door to freshen up the towels and awkwardly fold your laundry. No one needs the bed made at 8:42am. Yes, you could have put the “Do not disturb” sign on the door, but you didn’t expect housekeeping to show up while it was still dark outside. You wake up early enough when you’re at home. You should be allowed to sleep in a bit and not have to answer the door in your underpants telling housekeeping to come back later.

Which of these nuisances is the bigger annoyance? Vote now!

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More Hotel Madness action:
#1 No free Wi-Fi vs. #16 Annoying hotel TV channel
#2 Bad front desk service vs. #15 Everything about TV remotes
#3 Expensive parking vs. #14 Tightly tucked-in sheets
#5 No airport shuttle vs. #12 One-ply toilet paper
#6 No free breakfast vs. #11 Expensive minibars
#7 Bad water pressure vs. #10 Small towels
#8 Room not ready on time vs. #9 Early checkout times

First round voting ends at 11:59EDT on Sunday, March 20.

Follow along with the Hotel Madness tournament here.

Hotel Madness: Expensive parking vs. Tightly tucked-in sheets

by Mike Barish on
The first round of Hotel Madness continues with #3 seed Expensive parking battling #14 seed Tightly tucked in sheets. Paying for gas and dealing with rental car companies can make trips a real pain in the butt. Add in having to pay an arm and a leg to park at the hotel and you’ll be ready to curse Henry Ford for ever inventing cars. Once you do get to your room, though, going to sleep will be a challenge if you don’t have the upper body strength to turn down your own bed. Hotel sheets are tucked tighter than a pair of jeggings on a hippopotamus. Who’s running the housekeeping department? Sgt. Slaughter?

We break down these two Hotel Madness annoyances below. Vote for the one that ticks you of the most and the winner will advance to the second round of action.

(3) Expensive Parking
Not all cities are conducive to walking. Heck, not all trips are in cities. Perhaps you’re on a road trip or had to rent a car in your destination because everything is spread out and people actually ask you if you lost your license because of a DUI should you even consider walking somewhere (we’re looking at you, LA). Some places just require you to have a car. And some hotels require you to pay $15 a day to park it there. Don’t forget to tip the valet $2 each time you need it, too.

(14) Tightly Tucked-In Sheets
Travelers come in all shapes and sizes from chunky to portly to fit. No traveler, however, is thin enough to fit under the covers once the those housekeepers make the bed. Drill sergeants don’t require blankets to be that tight. You shouldn’t need the Jaws of Life just to get into bed.

This is a tough one. Paying for parking is just plain tacky but your bed can make or break your trip. Which one bothers you more? Vote now!

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More Hotel Madness action:
#1 No free Wi-Fi vs. #16 Annoying hotel TV channel
#2 Bad front desk service vs. #15 Everything about TV remotes
#4 Resort fees vs. #13 Early housekeeping visits
#5 No airport shuttle vs. #12 One-ply toilet paper
#6 No free breakfast vs. #11 Expensive minibars
#7 Bad water pressure vs. #10 Small towels
#8 Room not ready on time vs. #9 Early checkout times

First round voting ends at 11:59EDT on Sunday, March 20.

Follow along with the Hotel Madness tournament here.

Hotel Madness: Bad front desk service vs. Everything about TV remotes

by Mike Barish on
Our next first round Hotel Madness match-up pits #2 seed Bad front desk service against #15 Everything about TV remotes. Traveling is stressful enough without having to deal with some bored teenager or burned out middle manager making your check-on process miserable. That’s why Bad front desk service is entering the tournament as a strong contender to win it all. However, hotel television remotes are filthy germ sticks that are often unresponsive and unnecessarily complicated. It’s enough to make you don a hazmat suit and just read a book. But is it enough to generate a first round upset?

Learn more about these Hotel Madness contestants below and then vote for the one that bothers you more. The winner moves on to the second round.

(2) Bad Front Desk Service
Some people seem to have forgotten that the hotel business is called the hospitality industry. That would explain why you waited in line for 20 minutes to check in and had to track down your own bellman to help you with your bags. It sure was frustrating when you called down to alert them about your dirty sheets and they neither apologized nor offered to change your room. They did call you sir and ma’am a lot. At least they made you feel old while they ignored you.

(15) Everything About TV Remotes
Ever go over to a friend’s house and try to turn on his TV only to find that he has three remotes and you’re completely baffled? Well, at least your friend is there to help you out. In a hotel room, you’re left to your own devices with those, um, devices. Even if there is only one remote, it’s most likely old, filthy, germ-infested and unlike anything a normal human being would have in their home. Hotel remotes have odd button configurations and confusing menus. Most of the time the batteries are near death. That may be a blessing, as you honestly should not be touching those grimy things very much.

Which one is the bigger hotel pet peeve? Vote now!

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More Hotel Madness action:
#1 No free Wi-Fi vs. #16 Annoying hotel TV channel
#3 Expensive parking vs. #14 Tightly tucked-in sheets
#4 Resort fees vs. #13 Early housekeeping visits
#5 No airport shuttle vs. #12 One-ply toilet paper
#6 No free breakfast vs. #11 Expensive minibars
#7 Bad water pressure vs. #10 Small towels
#8 Room not ready on time vs. #9 Early checkout times

First round voting ends at 11:59EDT on Sunday, March 20.

Follow along with the Hotel Madness tournament here.

Hotel Madness: No free Wi-Fi vs. Annoying hotel TV channel

by Mike Barish on

Hotel Madness debuts with an intriguing first round match-up. Dominant #1 seed No free Wi-Fi takes on scrappy underdog Annoying hotel TV channel. The lack of free Wi-Fi is a newer peeve but it has quickly risen to prominence as it perturbs travelers around the world. Meanwhile, the annoying TV channel has been around for years and, while it doesn’t take any cash out of your wallet, it makes your leisure time in the room downright irritating.

Read the bios of both of these Hotel Madness competitors below and then vote for one to continue on to the next round as we seek to crown a champion.

(1) No Free WiFi
Whether you’re on the road for work or pleasure, odds are you’ve brought some kind of internet machine with you. From laptops to iPads to Android phones, the number of devices that join us on trips is increasing and they all benefit from internet connectivity. Hotels know this and, rather than build up some good will with guests, they exploit it. Need to send that updated report to your boss, upload pictures to your blog or watch some streaming movies to avoid touching your TV remote? Well, you’re going to have to pay $14.95 a day for WiFi and it’s going to be a crappy connection.

(16) Annoying Hotel TV Channel
If you can figure out out how to turn on the television, odds are it will default to a channel telling you fun facts about your hotel and the local area. The volume will be louder than a jet engine and you’ll be asked to navigate a series of menus before you can actually browse through the real stations. Thankfully, you’ll see plenty of photographs of people eating at the breakfast buffet while a voice actor tells you about the hotel’s “world-class cuisine.”

So, what annoys you more: paying for internet access or navigating your television away from the obnoxious hotel channel? Vote now!

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First round voting ends at 11:59EDT on Sunday, March 20.

More Hotel Madness action:
#2 Bad front desk service vs. #15 Everything about TV remotes
#3 Expensive parking vs. #14 Tightly tucked-in sheets
#4 Resort fees vs. #13 Early housekeeping visits
#5 No airport shuttle vs. #12 One-ply toilet paper
#6 No free breakfast vs. #11 Expensive minibars
#7 Bad water pressure vs. #10 Small towels
#8 Room not ready on time vs. #9 Early checkout times

Follow along with the Hotel Madness tournament here.