Hungarian airline stunt too successful

A crowd pissed all over Wizz Air’s attempt to release 1,000 balloons into the sky. The low-cost airline had hoped to celebrate its fifth anniversary, but the Hungarian crowd was drawn to the event by the rumor of freebies hooked to the balloons – coupons worth $49.95 – ultimately ruining it for everybody.

The balloons were held in a net in Budapest. Attendees started to pop balloons so they could cash in on the discounts, prompting a burst of bursting. After the first popper struck, the crowd “attacked the net,” according to Wizz Air communications director Natasa Kazmer.

One young woman fished for coupons through a grill in the gutter, hopefully because she planned to take many Wizzes later this year.

The publicity stunt was too successful: most of the vouchers were gone before the press even arrived.

Ryanair: get in shape, carry your own bags

European object of disdain low-cost carrier Ryanair is always looking for ways to save a few bucks. From pay-to-piss to the fat tax, the airline has put forth a stream of ideas that really haven’t gotten off the ground. Well, CEO Michael O’Leary has a new one to add to the list: mandatory luggage self-service.

Under this new model, passengers would carry their bags through airport security and drop them at the steps at the bottom of the plane. Turnaround times remain a concern – as they are for the fat tax. Let’s be realistic: the only people in the airport more likely to screw something up than baggage handlers are the passengers themselves.

If you spend 15 minutes staring at the menu at Sbarro and can’t figure the damned thing out, you probably shouldn’t be trusted to carry your own bags.

Say “I do” at 30,000 feet – easyJet wants to get into the wedding business

Desperate to generate some extra cash, every airline in the world is scrambling for ways to introduce new money making services. Some have considered paid bathrooms, others are going to double charge fatties. UK low cost carrier easyJet is in the lead at the moment in the creativity top 10.

The airline is planning to introduce in-flight weddings on their planes, allowing couples to tie the knot at 30,000 feet.

Imagine being able to get married on the plane that is taking you to your honeymoon destination.

Of course, it’ll still be on a tacky orange colored low cost carrier, and many of the passengers around you are probably already drunk from all the beer at the airport.

There is one minor issue they’ll need to work on first – UK law states that the place of marriage has to be a legal building, and that the building has to be permanent and “not moving”. Still, if they are able to work out the legal problems, they may be onto the next big aviation money maker.

Israel, Mecca … no difference to British BMI

Passengers headed to Israel on a British BMI flight were alarmed to find their destination was Mecca, according to the in-flight map. The airline, it seems, isn’t terribly aware that the Middle East is know for a tiny amount of tension that’s lasted for decades (the most recent iteration, at least).

Pick your joke about “wiping Israel off the map” – the Sydney Morning Herald did.

BMI, of course, denies an anti-Israel bias and cites a technical screw-up. The carrier, which has operated low-cost flights to Israel for more than a year, says it bought two plans from a bankrupt charter company that focused on Muslim destinations. The in-filght systems were programmed to highlight Islamic holy places.

It’s not discrimination. Instead, it’s a careful blend, of laziness, stupidity and poor planning – all of which are excusable in the airline industry, right?

Porn industry disgusted by flight attendant side job

“Look, we all have standards,” an adult entertainer familiar with the full- and part-time work of Ryanair flight attendant Edita Schindlerova told The Independent. “I think it’s disgusting that she works for Ryanair. All of us here at Biggus Dickus Productions feel really let down by her. If only she had told us she worked for them, maybe we could have done something to help her. Now, she has lost all our trust. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to do a three way.”

If you’ve seen Monty Python’s The Life of Brian, you know not to treat “Biggus Dickus” as a joke name.

While many look down their noses at the porn business, it looks like the airlines are able to give even those in the skin biz someone over which to hold a sense of superiority. Of course, the porn folks could learn a lesson in tolerance from Ryanair, which doesn’t care about Edita’s side job as “Edite Bente.”

If you’re surprised to see the porn industry claim any sort of moral high ground, don’t be. Anyone who has spent a bit of time in this business has had to listen to more than a few hours of First Amendment tirades, claims of wanting to be left alone and so on and so on and so on. Yes, it can get tedious, even though some of it is warranted. Either way, it’s pretty crazy to see the porn industry piss all over the airline business. What happened to “live and let live”?Ryanair flight attendant Schindlerova was recently outed as a part-time porn star by London tabloid The Sun. Her employer doesn’t care, and she hasn’t denied the allegations. She was also featured in the airline’s 2009 calendar, a collection of the sexiest employees that the low-cost carrier has to offer.

Her cover was blown by a pilot who somehow stumbled upon her work. Either this was an incredible coincidence, or this guy, who has not had to see his name in the press, spends a hell of a lot of time cruising the web for porn.

Julia Molony, who covered this story for The Independent, suggests, “Watch out fro the free-orgasm-with-every-flight offer on a billboard near you.” Such naïveté … does she really believe that Ryanair would give “free” anything?

Okay, through some investigative journalism on my part, I’ve been able to find some of her night job work. This is absolutely not safe for work or around children.This is not an adult website, rather it is a Czech tabloid, but do understand that they are able to push the envelope a lot farther than we can in the United States.

See our first story on Schindlerova’s erotic escapades.