Israel, Mecca … no difference to British BMI

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Passengers headed to Israel on a British BMI flight were alarmed to find their destination was Mecca, according to the in-flight map. The airline, it seems, isn’t terribly aware that the Middle East is know for a tiny amount of tension that’s lasted for decades (the most recent iteration, at least).

Pick your joke about “wiping Israel off the map” – the Sydney Morning Herald did.

BMI, of course, denies an anti-Israel bias and cites a technical screw-up. The carrier, which has operated low-cost flights to Israel for more than a year, says it bought two plans from a bankrupt charter company that focused on Muslim destinations. The in-filght systems were programmed to highlight Islamic holy places.

It’s not discrimination. Instead, it’s a careful blend, of laziness, stupidity and poor planning – all of which are excusable in the airline industry, right?

Porn industry disgusted by flight attendant side job

by Tom Johansmeyer on

“Look, we all have standards,” an adult entertainer familiar with the full- and part-time work of Ryanair flight attendant Edita Schindlerova told The Independent. “I think it’s disgusting that she works for Ryanair. All of us here at Biggus Dickus Productions feel really let down by her. If only she had told us she worked for them, maybe we could have done something to help her. Now, she has lost all our trust. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to do a three way.”

If you’ve seen Monty Python’s The Life of Brian, you know not to treat “Biggus Dickus” as a joke name.

While many look down their noses at the porn business, it looks like the airlines are able to give even those in the skin biz someone over which to hold a sense of superiority. Of course, the porn folks could learn a lesson in tolerance from Ryanair, which doesn’t care about Edita’s side job as “Edite Bente.”

If you’re surprised to see the porn industry claim any sort of moral high ground, don’t be. Anyone who has spent a bit of time in this business has had to listen to more than a few hours of First Amendment tirades, claims of wanting to be left alone and so on and so on and so on. Yes, it can get tedious, even though some of it is warranted. Either way, it’s pretty crazy to see the porn industry piss all over the airline business. What happened to “live and let live”?Ryanair flight attendant Schindlerova was recently outed as a part-time porn star by London tabloid The Sun. Her employer doesn’t care, and she hasn’t denied the allegations. She was also featured in the airline’s 2009 calendar, a collection of the sexiest employees that the low-cost carrier has to offer.

Her cover was blown by a pilot who somehow stumbled upon her work. Either this was an incredible coincidence, or this guy, who has not had to see his name in the press, spends a hell of a lot of time cruising the web for porn.

Julia Molony, who covered this story for The Independent, suggests, “Watch out fro the free-orgasm-with-every-flight offer on a billboard near you.” Such naïveté … does she really believe that Ryanair would give “free” anything?

Okay, through some investigative journalism on my part, I’ve been able to find some of her night job work. This is absolutely not safe for work or around children.This is not an adult website, rather it is a Czech tabloid, but do understand that they are able to push the envelope a lot farther than we can in the United States.

See our first story on Schindlerova’s erotic escapades.

Good news! Ryanair will NOT make you use coins to enter their bathrooms

by Scott Carmichael on

We’d forgive you if you accused us of being pro/anti Ryanair (depending on what you read).

In the past week we broke the news that the Ryanair CEO was considering introducing coin operated bathrooms on his flights.

Then we reported on remarks of a Ryanair spokesperson who claimed the esteemed Ryanair CEO was just screwing with us. Thankfully the official reply is out – Ryanair will NOT be introducing coin operated bathrooms on their flights.

They will be credit card operated.

That’s right, According to Ryanair, they have actually asked Boeing engineers to design a credit card operated lock that can be installed on the bathroom doors. That pretty much removes all concerns about not having enough change, or any worries about currency issues.

According to Ryanair, if 20% of their passengers use the bathroom on each flight, and they all pay 1 Pound for the right to pee or poo, they’ll earn an additional 15 Million Pounds a year (21 Million Dollars).

As usual, there is something smelly about this plan – the extra income does not take into account the cost of installing the actual credit card operated doors, or the extra manpower required to transfer all these transactions to some kind of computer at the end of the day.

Nor do they seem to worry about the possibility that the equipment will break down, and sooner or later someone will break it when they can’t get the damn thing to accept their hotel loyalty card as a valid method of payment.

We are already on our third installment of this silly idea, but I can’t help feel we are being involved in a funny hoax by the airline. Either way, Mr O’Leary and his airline are clearly masterminds at creating free PR – almost getting themselves on the same level as that other brilliant airline PR guy, Richard Branson.

I just hope Ryanair understands what they are getting themselves in to – many of our commenters already said they’d rather take a dump in the vomit bag than pay the airline.

Update: O’Leary has finally admitted that the whole thing was indeed a cheap PR stunt.

Ryanair removes the airport check-in desk

by Scott Carmichael on

By now I’m sure everyone has heard of Ryanair, the cheeky European low cost carrier. Their insanely low fares have turned them into the third largest airline in Europe.

Of course, in order to offer low fares, you need to cut a few corners. You won’t find any free pretzels on Ryanair. In fact, pretty much anything service related is either non existent, or requires an additional fee.

Their latest cost saving measure is to completely remove all airport check-in desks. That’s right – the familiar desk at the airport where a smiling airline employee would get you checked in and on your way to the gate is being replaced by the Internet.

Ryanair now expects all their passengers to check-in using the web. Of course, this would not be a huge issue if anyone could use the service, but non-EU passengers on Ryanair are unable to do a web checkin. This means that anyone without a European passport will be forced to use (and pay for) the single baggage drop desk at each Ryanair location.

We’ve finally reached a point where a super cheap ticket starts to look less and less interesting. What good is a $20 ticket when the cost of checking in at the airport and taking 2 bags with you can add an extra $80? I’ve long joked that we’ll eventually see an airline charge for using the bathroom, but now I’m convinced that we’ll actually see that happen some time this year.

(Via: The Telegraph)

Southwest Airlines announces service to BOSTON

by Grant Martin on

At long last, Boston has been freed from the grips of legacy carriers. Virgin America just started service to Beantown this month, and tomorrow morning, Southwest Airlines plans to announce that they will be starting flights. Coincidence? Maybe. Great for the everyday passenger? Definitely.

Because with Southwest, comes competition, and with their low fares (read: hedge) driving the market, other carriers are forced to match prices and in many cases, stop gouging. For example, for this blogger to get from Detroit to Boston it often costs more than to get from Detroit to Frankfurt, Germany. Compare that to Chicago or Baltimore, both Southwest cities, where I can often fly for under $150.

Sure, both Baltimore and Chicago (Midway) are hubs for Southwest, but the two gates that will soon operate out of Logan will definitely make the legacies think twice about gouging.

Southwest plans on starting service into Boston Logan this fall, and it can NOT come soon enough. CEO Gary Kelly will announce more details this (Thursday) morning, so stay tuned.