10 tips for traveling as a couple – and not breaking up

Traveling together for the first time as a couple can be a make-or-break experience. You can learn more about a person on a two-day trip than you can in a few weeks of dating.

When you travel with someone, you quickly figure out how he interacts with other cultures, how she manages money, how she handles stress, or how he deals with conflict when the two of you cannot escape each other. Not to mention, you’ll be privy to all those things the other person may have tried (maybe successfully) to hide from you before: she doesn’t look quite the same without her makeup on, and you do not want to go in the bathroom after he uses it first thing in the morning.

Travel can be a more intense experience than life at home, and that holds true for couples traveling together too. But, traveling with your mate can also be an enriching experience that brings the two of you closer. Here are some tips for traveling with your significant other, whether you’re planning your first trip together or have been exploring the world as a couple for some time.Start small
The length of time you spend on your trip should be directly proportionate to the amount of time you have been dating. Couples who have been together for years have a better chance of surviving long-term travel, while those who have been together for less than 12 months should stick to trips of a week to 10 days.

If you’ve only been dating a month or two, do not attempt more than a weekend jaunt for your first effort, and never plan a trip more days in advance than the amount of time you have been together. Known each other one month? I don’t care if you are in love. I still wouldn’t recommend you buy tickets for a two-week long trip for three months from now.

Pick the right location
I often hear people ask what is a good “romantic destination.” That’s the wrong question. Any destination can be romantic. Romance is more about who you are with, what you do, and your state of mind than where you are on the map. Sure, some locations are more picturesque or have more “romantic” lodging options, but that doesn’t mean they are the perfect place for you and your sweetie.

Focus more on what you want to see and do and go from there. If you get bored lying on the beach all day, you aren’t going to have a great trip, no matter how “romantic” the resort claims to be. Talk to your significant other and discuss what you each want to do and what your travel style is, and select a location based on those considerations.

Plan together
In many relationships, it seems like one person always takes the reins of planning while the other is content to be led. This can work out fine for decisions such as where to go to dinner, but when you are talking about spending several days, and possibly several hundred dollars, on a trip, both people need to contribute to the decision making. Once you’ve settled on a location, you can divvy up the planning responsibilities in one of several ways.

If one person is more of a foodie, he or she can select restaurants, while the person who is more passionate about history or art chooses which museums to visit. Another option is to alternate days when each person plans the itinerary. You’ll decided what to do on Monday; he’ll make Tuesday’s plan. The third option, and the one that works best for my husband and I, is to each make a plan based on what we want to do. Then we compare (usually finding that most of our “must-do” activities are the same) and craft a final itinerary from there.



Compromise

In the travel planning and on the trip, you have to realize that you can’t get your way all the time. When creating an itinerary that includes both what you want to do and what your significant other wants to do, you often will each have to give up a few things in order to make it work. One way my husband and I do this is to figure out how many activities, cities, or restaurants we can fit in on the trip. Then we each make a list of our top choices, filling in one from each person until we have maxed out our time. This way we each get to do the things that are most important to us.

Take time apart
For your sanity, and in order to do some things you may want to do that your mate does not, it’s important to take time apart on your trip. Whether it’s 20-30 minutes to clear your head with an early morning run on a short weekend trip, or taking off an entire afternoon of a week-long trip to visit a museum that your significant other has no interest in, spending some time apart is vital. It can help prevent you from getting frustrated with each other and having petty arguments, and it can allow you the time to do things that matter most to you. Plus, a little time apart can make you appreciate the time you spend together even more.

Talk budget before you go
Money is one of the main sources of disagreement for all couples, whether they be traveling or not. It’s easy to say, “I’m on vacation, I’ll deal with it later,” and then cry when you get your credit card bill. One member of the couple may also feel pressured to keep up with the other, which can then lead to resentment.

Before you begin booking your trip, talk openly and honestly about what you can afford and how you plan to divide the costs. Unless your finances are already shared, the best system is to set a budget and go dutch on all costs. This doesn’t have to mean splitting the check at every restaurant though. Just figure out how much you plan to spend on each expense and assign each cost to one person.

For instance, if your hotel will be $500 for five nights and the plane tickets were $250, you can pay for the flights while you mate pays for the hotel. If you’ve budgeted $100 per night for dinner, just switch off picking up the tab.

Be flexible
While I’m a firm believer in making an itinerary and planning a budget for every trip, I think it’s equally important to remain flexible. Things change. Sometimes after a long day of sightseeing, you just don’t want to go to that fancy restaurant you had selected for dinner. The day you wanted to climb the Duomo for the perfect view dawns cloudy and grey. Make a plan but plan for it to change. Always have a Plan B and Plan C and don’t let the little hiccups frustrate you. Sometimes the best things can happen when your plans fall through.

Keep a sense of humor
With precious little vacation time, sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to have the perfect trip, to enjoy every single second of it to the fullest. When that doesn’t happen, we’re crushed. But things go wrong on the road. Planes are delayed, luggage gets lost, hotels lose reservations and sometimes even the most highly recommended restaurant turns out to be a disappointment.

When bad things happen, try to keep an open mind. So a crazy Italian chef screamed at you for suggesting that the swordfish wasn’t all that fresh(as happend to me on my honeymoon), don’t let it ruin your trip. Find a way to laugh about it and you’ll end up with a better experience, and a better story to tell when you come home. So you’re hopelessly lost, it’s raining and your train leaves in an hour. The worst that happens could be that you are out a bit of money and spend an extra night in the city. Try to keep things in perspective. Remember, in most cases, the troubles you have are minor and temporary.

Make time for romance
Any trip, any restaurant, any hotel, is as romantic as you make it. When we’re running around sightseeing, trying to pack a lot into a short trip, it’s easy to forget to slow down and appreciate the time we have with the one we love. Sometimes we need to schedule romance. On even the most budget trip, find a way to do something special for your partner. Whether it be a picnic with a view, an order of breakfast in bed, a splurge meal, or just a long moonlit stroll under the lights of the city, be sure to plan at least one thoughtful surprise for your significant other.

Protect your investment
Of course you and your love are never, ever going to break up. And certainly not before your week-long trip through Napa Valley or your two-week jaunt through his ancestral land of Ireland. But…..these things do happen. I know several people who’ve lost hundreds of dollars worth of plane tickets because they were dumped right before the trip, or who suffered through an uncomfortable vacation (rather than lose the money) and broke up as soon as they got home.

Don’t let this happen to you. Make sure that your ticket cost can be refunded or that the tickets can be changed. If you need to put down a deposit, find out when the last day to get a refund is. For a trip of significant cost, look into travel insurance, which often contains a “cancel for any reason” provision that would cover heartbreak and allow you to recoup all funds if the relationship goes sour.

Indian company offers “divorce tourism” package to quarreling couples

For many happy couples, a trip is taken to commemorate joyful events, like a marriage or the impending birth of a child. Then there are other couples – the ones who certainly aren’t happy but who aren’t quite ready to rush off to Vegas for their divorce party. For them, there’s “divorce tourism”.

The Daily Mail reports that a company in India, called KV Tours and Travel, is offering packages to destinations like the Maldives aimed at helping couples on the brink of divorce to reconcile. India has typically had a very low divorce rate – only about one out of every 100 marriages end in divorce – but in India’s largest cities, it is becoming more common. The company offers a few different packages, ranging from local stays to more expensive exotic destinations. Vijesh Thakker, the company’s chief executive told the AP, “We’re trying to send them where they have not been before, where there are not many people – and no relatives”. For couples that don’t want to invest in saving their marriage, the company reaches out to family members and asks them to foot the bill on the couple’s behalf. Experienced marriage counselors accompany the couple on their trip and help them work through their issues and determine if they want to stay together or go their separate ways.

Can a seven-day vacation save a marriage? Not likely, which even the concept’s creator admits. “We’re not destiny changers,” Thakker said, but “we want them to treat the trip like a second honeymoon”.

Ave Maria or Hava Nagila? No Need to Choose at Cabo Azul

Planning a wedding is the final test of a relationship. If a couple can survive this gauntlet of vendors and family members, the marriage has a real shot. It’s even more taxing when you’re putting together a destination wedding (definitely not my favorite kind). The only thing that could make this experience worse is the emotional toll exacted by interfaith struggles. If you’re dealing with this challenge, cross the border. At Cabo Azul Resort, the chapel is uniquely equipped to execute your compromise.

In my experience, at least (limited though it is), interfaith squabbles have more to do with the parents and less with the couple. Two people meet, fall in love and decide to take the plunge. By that point, they know the religions involved and either don’t care or develop the appropriate coping mechanism. The parents, however, may feel differently. Even if there’s no bigotry involved, choices have to be made … starting with the opening to so many jokes: priest, minister or rabbi?

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Ultimately, the power of the purse wins the day. The person writing the checks makes the final call – that’s the beauty of capitalism! Of course, there are alternatives to the tyranny of the fiscally endowed. Compromise can be achieved, and this is where the Cabo Azul Resort is ready to jump in.

Located along the beach in Los Cabos, Mexico, Cabo Azul offers an airy, open (but covered) chapel with a view of the only chunk of shoreline in the area on which you can swim. Natural sunlight illuminates the space, but careful design minimizes the glare. Guests in the pews can stare out at the water instead of paying attention to the service … perfect. While scenery and sunshine do alleviate the tension of interfamily, interfaith tension, Cabo Azul has taken the concept a step further.

Two for the price of one!

Without undue effort, the religious space at Cabo Azul can be converted from church to synagogue. The cross suspended from the ceiling can be retracted and a Star of David lowered. The need to choose is obviated, and you can focus on what matters most – avoiding your in-laws!

Disclosure: The Los Cabos Tourism Board picked up the tab for this trip. But, if you know me, you know I don’t do anyone favors. The opinions are definitely my own.

Easyjet’s jilted in the sky

easyJet was ready to help passengers walk down the aisle while walking down the aisle. The airlines plans to conduct mile-high marriage ceremonies, however, were stymied by local British bureaucrats who said they couldn’t give the airline permission. Under this unusual program, pilots – like captains at sea – would have facilitated the swapping of vows.

The relevant officials in Luton, which is north of London, has refused to extend these powers to the airline, claiming that it’s not permitted under the law. The airline, of course, is “very disappointed,” as are the imaginary masses ready to run the security gauntlet to seal the deal.

Say “I do” at 30,000 feet – easyJet wants to get into the wedding business

Desperate to generate some extra cash, every airline in the world is scrambling for ways to introduce new money making services. Some have considered paid bathrooms, others are going to double charge fatties. UK low cost carrier easyJet is in the lead at the moment in the creativity top 10.

The airline is planning to introduce in-flight weddings on their planes, allowing couples to tie the knot at 30,000 feet.

Imagine being able to get married on the plane that is taking you to your honeymoon destination.

Of course, it’ll still be on a tacky orange colored low cost carrier, and many of the passengers around you are probably already drunk from all the beer at the airport.

There is one minor issue they’ll need to work on first – UK law states that the place of marriage has to be a legal building, and that the building has to be permanent and “not moving”. Still, if they are able to work out the legal problems, they may be onto the next big aviation money maker.