Join The Mile-High Club Legally In The UK

mile high club jetIf the private jet’s a rockin’ don’t come a knockin’, the saying goes. Or does it?

A new UK-based travel company is offering up the chance to get down with yo bad self at 5,280 feet. For a base price of £4999, travelers can pay for “the most discreet pilot currently employed in British aviation” to allow travelers to “get rude at altitude.”

This isn’t a joke. You’ll get complimentary chocolates, Champagne and endless sexual puns … until you reach 5,280 feet, (a mile for you less than quick readers) when you can go at it to your heart’s content. A gratis bar is included, in case you feel weird about the fact that the pilot on the other side of the door knows that you’re knocking boots in the back. As is complimentary catering, but with this trip lasting only an hour … we can’t imagine you’ll have time to get very hungry.

Yes, extended flight times can be arranged, but we’re pretty sure you must BYOP (Bring Your Own Partner).

Full details here.

[Image Credit: Wish.co.uk]

Long Flight Love: How To Stay Awake

long flight

So maybe catching up on sleep during a long flight from New York to London is your idea of a big win in the air. Perhaps you would rather not hear the crying baby, see the questionable cuisine in coach or smell the odd aromas that might linger around the aircraft cabin. For you, there are plenty of tips, suggestions and methods for falling asleep on a long flight.

However, those of us who actually like to fly, can’t get enough time in the air and look forward to the flying experience, instead seek great ways to stay awake and enjoy every blissful minute of flight. Here are a few great tips for staying awake on a long flight.

Sleep as much as you can the night before- Banking a little sleep several days or a week before the long flight will help. “Recent sleep research indicates that ‘banking sleep’ beforehand can improve performance after subsequent sleep restriction or total deprivation,” says Zeo, a leading sleep management company in the U.S.

Do things that you like to do- Watch action movies with engaging plots or play favorite video games. Better yet, deny yourself video game playtime for a few days before flying, just so you will rabidly appreciate every single minute of play. Note: Mile High Club activities, while perhaps energizing, are not recommended.

Engage in scintillating conversation- There’s nothing like a good talk between new friends met on the plane. Plus, if that flight takes you to Ireland, you’ll be all set to grab a pint and “meet up with kinfolk and townsfolk alike to engage in lively conversation after a few rounds,” says NetPlaces.Consider flying a social occasion- Like boarding a cruise ship in the olden days, friends should come to see us off at the airport. Waving goodbye from the jetway perks up emotions and there is nothing wrong with a little jealousy on their part, or pride on our part. Once on the plane, make a point of being pleasant to your neighbors. Though some may follow the advice of Wanderfly‘s “Ways To Keep Your Neighbor From Talking Your Ear Off,” which promotes wearing headphones and pretending to be deaf or crazy, others will find that engaging in exciting conversation will keep sleep far away.

Get the names of friendly crew members- Sure, their main reason for living is to keep us safe in the air, but they can do it nicely. Write down their names and send an email or tweet off to their land-based bosses. Note: Do not use this tip when flying Skymark Airlines, the Japanese low-cost airline that, according to Asia Sentinel, specifically says passengers should not expect flight attendants to help with luggage, listen to complaints or even be minimally polite.

Just Say Yes to coffee and caffeinated drinks- Coffee and soda are a good start. Two to four cups of coffee a day get us 200 to 300 milligrams of caffeine, which should be fine for most people, says the Mayo Clinic. Caffeine-rich products like Upshot are better with 80 milligrams, in addition to Red Fin Energy Shot‘s 100-milligram drink. 357 Magnum Energy Shot brings a hefty 125 milligrams, and 5150 Juice reigns supreme with 500 milligrams of caffeine. “While we don’t condone over-the-top caffeine use, we are big proponents of smart spending,” warns MainStreet, offering a look at 20 drinks with the highest caffeine content per ounce.

Not recommended: Going outside to stretch your legs or putting on a bunch of clothes that make you look fat, then doing belly slams or laughing incessantly, as suggested by WikiHow in “25 Tips On How To Stay Awake At A Sleepover.”




[Flickr photo by S.H. Photography]

Five ways to join the mile-high club: it’s not all in the lav!

mile-high clubLet’s face it: airline lavatories are not the sexiest places. They are small, cramped and smelly – like the rest of the plane, strangely. They are unpleasant places, but they do afford the only privacy you’re going to find. So, it’s a usual favorite for daring couples looking to join the prestigious “mile-high club.” Yes, that club. For those of you not in the know, mile-high club membership entails having sex on a plane.

It’s difficult to join, and the recession has made it harder. Sure, you can get cheaper tickets, which effectively lowers the price of mile-high club admission. However, airlines cut routes over the past two years in an effort to increase revenue per available seat-mile. This means that planes are more crowded, constraining your mile-high club options. More people on the plane translates to an increased likelihood of getting caught. For some, that prevents membership (because the risk of an unusually aware passenger can impede the urge to join), while others may see it as a challenge.

Don’t care about the prospect of being sent back to your seat, but want options aside from the lav? Your choices are listed below:

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1. In-seat romance: how bold are you? Would you have sex in your seat (if you had three for you and your “friend”)? Oral only? This can be done, but I assure you, it isn’t for the shy. You won’t necessarily get caught, but the risk is incredibly high. Just know what you’re getting into.

2. Galley: this can be great for a little pre-lav action, especially if the beverage service is taking place when you dashed back. Get you and your partner in crime out of the line of sight, and stay on the lookout for any passengers interested I hitting the bathroom. I wouldn’t plan to “conclude” in the galley, but it will definitely get your heart pounding before you step behind a closed door.

3. Pay to play: there are services that provide you with a flight specifically to support mile-high club membership (there’s a list here). For a fairly digestible fee, you can get freaky high in the sky … and possibly take home something to remind you of the excursion.

4. Really pay to play: corporate and private jets … that’s the place to do it. You can get to be in charge in more ways than one, and it’s gotta be a total turn-on.

5. Boarding: this is still in-seat, but the dynamic is much different. Do not attempt this unless your flight is relatively empty. Get a seat toward the back of the plane, and STAY ALERT AT ALL TIMES.

[photo by kyz via Flickr]

Five ways to join the mile-high club around the world

mile-high clubGenerally, it’s best to avoid an airline lavatory for any reason. It’s cramped, smelly and generally not a pleasant place to be. If you’re planning to use the lav for something other than its stated purpose, you’re going to need to brace yourself. Unfortunately, it really is the best environment on the plane for joining the mile-high club (for those of you not in the know, that means having sex on a plane).

You could always try to do it in your seat, but you’ll need a fairly empty flight. Also, your options will be limited, even compared to the lav.

Fortunately, there appears to be a better way. If you want to join this unique, exclusive club without risking an angry speech from a safety-focused flight attendant, take a look at the options below. You can attain your newest “status” at a fairly reasonable price in some cases – and have a memory to savor.1. Mile High Atlanta: if you’re not in Atlanta, it’s pretty easy to get there. After all, it is home to the busiest airport in the country. So, catch a flight to this city, and trade your airline seat for a jaunt with Mile High Atlanta. It costs only $379 per couple for an hour-long flight in a Piper Cherokee Six … “designed exclusively for this purpose. And yes, there is a bed.

Good to know: “Our pilot is VERY discreet and all flights are handled with the UTMOST confidentiality.”

2. Exstacy Air: Based in St. Clair County, Michigan, this service will bring you up above the clouds so you can have your moment of bliss. For $375, you and your cohort – unless you’re logging solo hours – will get an hour in the sky, a bottle of champagne and a set of mile-high wings (that you’ll doubtless earn).

Unique feature: You can keep your sheets as a souvenir!

3. Chicago Mile High Club: this service offers “you and your loved one the exclusive use of our 20 passenger airliner so that you can become mile-high club members, with all of the safety and privacy that comes with having a large twin-engine turboprop airliner all to yourselves.” But, this sort of service is pricey: $999 an hour, and you have to make reservations at least a week in advance.

Selling point: The cabin is more than 20 feet long, six feet wide and 5 ½ feet tall. Break out your copy of the Kama Sutra!

4. Mile High Flights: earn your international wings with this UK service, which includes champagne, “stunning views” and whatever other fun you can concoct! Several options are available, with products named “The Big One (£640) and “The VIP” (£930).

Mortgage your orgasm: Flexible payment options are available for those who don’t want to wind up spent right away.

5. The ol’ fashioned way: look both ways, and move casually toward the lavatory, preferably while the flight attendants are working the beverage cart. Step out with your hair askew and a fantastically broad smile on your face.

Multiple benefits: No, not that kind – I’m referring to the fact that this flight will also take you to your destination, rather than cart you around on a “sightseeing” experience. You may also pick up some frequent flier miles.

[photo by rick via Flickr]

Would you turn a Skycouch into mile-high club membership?

Skycouch for the mile-high clubRemember the Air New Zealand Skycouch? It’s a new seat that’s made the term “cuddle class” pretty popular, as it opens some great opportunities for passenger comfort and mile-high club membership. It’s a pretty exciting development in an industry that tends to invest little in customer comfort. The Skycouch makes it possible to turn three economy seats into something of a bed for two passengers.

For Air New Zealand, it’s pretty important to be at the leading edge when it comes to comfort, according to general manager Ed Sims. He said, “The majority of our long-haul flights are overnight and we fly on average 90 minutes longer than any other airline.”

So, here’s the big question: now that these seats are making it out into the market, would you use it to join the club? Leave a comment below to let us know your thoughts.

[photo by Deanster1983 via Flickr]