Southwest pilot called in sick after passengers accused him of drinking

Because I live in Columbus, this story ended up on Wednesday night’s local news. As I listened to the report, this is what I picked up.

At 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday, two guys heading for a Southwest flight at Port Columbus International Airport saw a pilot who seemed like he had been drinking at the security check point and decided to intervene. First, they told TSA officials that they were concerned, and then told the pilot when they thought he was heading to their gate that he reeked of alcohol and shouldn’t be drinking and flying.

According to them, the pilot ran off to the bathroom where he changed his uniform jacket for a civilian one. The pilot called in sick from the bathroom and later explained to the airport police who questioned him in the bathroom that he wasn’t drunk, but that he had been partying hard the day before.

Southwest called in another pilot to fly the plane to Orlando and is investigating the case along with the Federal Aviation Administration. The two men who pointed out the pilot’s possible issues, were actually going on a flight leaving from the next gate over.

Here’s a summary of the story from the Channel 10 News that was posted last night and a Columbus Dispatch article about the incident from today’s paper.

Considering that a pilot isn’t supposed drink eight hours before a flight or have a blood alcohol level of .04, according to FAA regulations, I’m wondering just how much a person could drink the night before and still smell? Wouldn’t Listerine have worked wonders if the pilot was within the legal limit? An Altoid or two perhaps? However, nothing conclusive has been found out yet, so he might have been telling the truth and one of those people whose pheromones weren’t treating him well.

Back in 2006, there was a similar issue with a Southwest pilot. If there’s only one of these stories that pops up every few years, I’d say most pilots know not to drink and fly, and possibly, the guy who ran to the bathroom yesterday. He may have been A-okay and simply unaware of his odor.


Other “troublemakers of the sky”:

Galley Gossip: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year, everybody! For the first time in fourteen years I’ve actually got the day off. I know, even I can’t believe it. “So what do you have planned for New Year’s Eve?” several people have recently asked.

They always look a little surprised when I say, “Not much. Just hanging out at home and making my famous spicy blacked eyed peas.”

“You’re not going out?”

“Nope. I never go out. Usually I’m working,” I say because I am, usually working.

“Really?”

“Really.” And that’s a good thing! Trust me

This year, unlike other years, I plan to stay home and celebrate quietly with my family. Because in three days I’ll be on reserve, which means that except for a few scheduled days off, I’ll be on-call to the company 24/7 for the entire month of January. I’ll be stuck in New York where I work, not in California where I live, which is why I’m trying to make the most of what little family time I have left before packing my bags and heading back to work on the 3rd. Don’t worry, you’ll get to hear all about my time waiting around at my crash-pad for crew schedule to call and send me who knows where at a moments notice. It’s not fun.

In the past I’ve always bid to work New Year’s Eve, because most times when you bid to work one holiday in December you can usually get the other, more important, holiday off – Christmas. However, even though I’m working on such a festive night, I’ve been fortunate enough (a few years) to descend into Kennedy or La Guardia airport just at the right time. There’s nothing like being in that dark, quiet, cabin, everyone so still and content, the lights of the city twinkling on the ground beneath us, when the Captain or a flight attendant makes the announcement I’ve been waiting for all night.

“Happy New Year!”

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And just like that every single passenger, and flight attendant, is smiling. It’s always a beautiful sight.

2008 was a good year, and not just because of all the amazing flight attendants I was fortunate enough to work with on each and every trip, but because of all the wonderful passengers I met, and I did meet many. Some I’ll never forget. So here’s wishing you and yours a happy and healthy 2009. Happy travels to all and to all a good flight!

The photo gallery above consists of photos taken from one of my last flights in 2008

Galley Gossip: Where did the service go?

Recently I read an interesting article in the New York Times, Up, Up, and Go Away, about an ex flight attendant who worked for TWA in the 1970’s when flight attendants were known as stewardesses and stewardesses were as glamorous as movie stars and passengers were treated like royalty and flying was..well…just better – in every way possible! The stewardess featured in the article above wrote about a recent flight she took from Miami to Charlotte and the lack of customer service onboard the airplane, on the ground, as well as the downfall of flying in general.

She wrote…

I have experienced the decline of service along with the rest of the flying public. But I believe I have felt it more acutely because I remember the days when to fly was to soar. The airlines, and their employees, took pride in how their passengers were treated. A friend who flew for Pan Am and I have a friendly rivalry over which airline was better. Friendly, yes. But we each believe we worked for the best.

Well that’s funny because I think I work for the best airline, and that’s an airline that’s still in business. And for the record, I, too, take pride in my job, as well as the way I treat my passengers, and this is during a time when passengers bash airlines for sport. Hey, times have changed. Flight attendants have changed. Passengers have changed. Technology has changed. Every single thing has changed. Has it not?

She wrote…

Airlines offer valid excuses for cutting back service. But what are they gaining when passengers leave a flight disgruntled, mistreated and hungry? It is surprising how easy it is to please passengers. Cereal and lots of coffee in the morning can do wonders for someone who had to leave home at 4 a.m. Pretzels and peanuts handed out with drinks make a difference in an era of flight cancellations and long security lines.

Much like most memories, one tends to romanticize the past. I, too, worked when flight attendants handed out wings, playing cards and magazines, back when we had all the pillows and blankets a passenger could desire. I also served cereal as well as pretzels and three dinner choices – in coach – and trust me when I tell you just as many passengers complained about the service then as they do now.

“This is nothing but garbage!” one passenger shouted at me when I placed the penne pasta on the tray table in front of her. This happened in coach over ten years ago.

“Is this all you have?” is another response I heard often back in the day.

I also remember that airfares were three times what they are today, which enabled an airline to offer you three choices of garbage…I mean food…as well as amenities in coach. Sure ticket prices have gone up, but by comparison they’re cheaper than they were ten years ago. In 1995 I bought a ticket from New York to Dallas for $800. Last month I bought the same ticket for $350 – and that was for a flight during the holiday rush, which is the second busiest time of the year to travel!

She wrote…

What works best of all, of course, is a smile. I trained for six weeks to become a flight attendant. Although the main focus was safety, I spent almost as much time learning good service. Airline employees’ frustration and exasperation are all too evident to their passengers.

Yet as I stand at the door and greet my passengers with a smile on my face and a friendly “Hello, how are you?” half the time my greeting is either met with a sour face and goes unanswered or I’m told exactly how they are, which is never good. After four of five snide remarks I eventually stop asking how people are, I’m too afraid! Keep in mind, it’s not easy for me, either, but I still try to smile, even though I’ve been working just under the FAA legal limit. My layover is not the same layover experienced thirty years ago by stewardesses in the past who had 48 hours of free time before having to work one trip home. Based on my schedule of the last six years, I average 8 hours between the time I say “Buh-bye” and the time I say “Welcome aboard” and push back from the gate again.

She wrote…

Once, stuck on a tarmac in Newark for four hours, a planeload of passengers got McDonald’s hamburgers and fries courtesy of the airline.

Not only do passengers have to bring their own McDonald’s food onboard these days, I have to make sure that the passenger who keeps getting up and down and going into the lav with a cell phone in one hand and a crumpled McDonald’s bag in the other isn’t up to any funny business. While I, too, trained for seven weeks to become a flight attendant, learning good customer service skills, I was also sent back to training in 2001 to learn what to do in case of a terrorist hijacking. That’s why I might not be smiling as I serve drinks down the aisle in coach. I’ve got my eye on that passenger whose been acting a little strangely. A stewardess never had to carry hand cuffs, etc, in their tote bags, but a flight attendant does.

The decline in service is a direct result of ticket prices today, which is why our flights are always full, staffed with minimum crew, and why people who couldn’t afford to fly thirty years ago are flying today? And that, I think, is a good thing, in a way. The airlines are giving passengers what they truly want – affordable prices. Not embossed napkins. People are no longer willing to pay for service, and the airlines can’t afford to give it away for free, not anymore, not in this day and age. Which is why all you get on a flight is a cramped seat, a can of soda, and a paper napkin – in coach – while getting from point A to point B as safely as possible and for as cheaply as possible. If better service is desired, you have the option to pay for it by purchasing a ticket in one of the premium cabins. It’s up to you.

When I first started flying fourteen years ago, passengers in the premium cabins enjoyed the fine dining experience we provided, which is still pretty much the same service we provide in 2008. Only now, unlike then, the seats in first class and business class are always full. There are more top tiered frequent fliers battling it out for those oh so precious upgrades than ever before. A premium class passenger spends about $6,000 to fly from coast to coast, which in todays weak economy is hard for an executive to justify in an expense report to management, which explains why luxury airlines like EOS and MaxJet went out of business in less than one year.

And with all the electronic devices brought onboard today, passengers in our premium cabins don’t really want the long drawn out service of yesterday, no matter what they say, because when they want to eat, they want it now, and they want it fast, and when they’re done, they’re done!

“Take it away!” I often hear, and before the meal tray is even lifted from the table the computer is out and the fingers are typing.

What bothers me the most about these types of articles, and there are many, is the way in which people still want to compare flying back then to now. Can you really compare the two? No other industry in the United States is criticized as harshly, with such backwards thinking, as the aviation industry. When you talk about those glorious days when all the stewardesses were young and beautiful and wore hot pants and mini skirts and smiled as they lit your cigarette in the piano lounge onboard the 747 to Paris, keep in mind that flight attendants weren’t allowed to get married or have children and were subjected to periodical weigh-ins before their trips. Sounds good you say? Well don’t forget that with all the glamour came a lot of empty seats. Back then only the privileged could fly. So just remember that the next time you purchase a ticket and want to reminisce about the good old days.

Photos courtesy of (vintage black and white) Carbonated, (Passengers) Heather Poole, (Computer) Heather Poole

Most Annoying Airline Passengers

The holidays are a hard time to travel, and Lemondrop has compiled a gallery of the people who make it even harder.

“The Most Annoying Airline Passengers Ever” include people who stop in the aisle while you’re boarding to rearrange the bag they’re stowing, strangers who talk too much, and everyone in first class.

While they don’t mention my personal nemeses (the people who can’t keep their elbow and/or various other body parts on their side of the arm rest) the list is pretty darn good, and the pictures are fun, too. Special appearance by Samuel L. Jackson in his Snakes on a Plane role.

[via Lemondrop]

Make your flight (and mine) easier this holiday season

The holidays are coming, and people will be flying. If you’re one of them, instead of feeling angry and entitled in every line in which you late, make a concerted effort to improve your surroundings. No, I’m not talking about picking up garbage or holding the door for some old lady who will punish you with tales of her grandchildren’s accomplishments. Take small steps to become more efficient. You-and everyone around you-will spend less time in line, and you might just be almost happy with your trip.

Rule #1

If you see someone who looks like he travels regularly, do what he does. If he takes his license out of his wallet before reaching the security line, you should too. Did he just remove his laptop from his bag? Guess what … you’ll probably want to take yours from your bag. You can’t go wrong by copying someone who’s obviously smarter than you are.

Rule #2
Don’t prepare for the security stop when you’ve already bellied up to the X-ray machine. While you’re in line, do the following:

1. Pull your laptop out of your bag (if you have one)
2. Take your ID (license or passport) out of your pocket, bag, etc.; hold it with your boarding pass
3. Empty your pockets into your carry-on; do the same with your watch, cell phone and any heavy jewelry
4. Remove your shoes, and carry them on top of your laptop
5. Repeat #4 with your coat and hatNow, you have a stack of personal belongings on top of your laptop. Carry them like you did your books back in grade school. You can drop the laptop into one bin for the X-ray machine, pick up the clothing and drop them in the next bin. It’s fast. It’s easy. It doesn’t leave you screwing around while people are waiting.

Rule #3
Unless you’re moving, don’t pack like you’re moving. If you can’t carry it, don’t bring it. This is just common sense. Bringing gifts to family members you see rarely? Mail the packages. Hell, with the cost of extra baggage right now, it’s probably cheaper to engage UPS for this anyway.

Rule #4
Eating at the food court instead of home? This makes sense. After all, the long lines force us all to go to the airport earlier … just in case. There are more of us than usual, and we’re all friggin’ hungry. So, why the hell does someone who’s in line for an hour wait, ponder and stutter when placing an order? Next time you’re jammed up at Wendy’s, use those 30 minutes in line to think about what you want. By the time someone asks if you want fries with your burger, you should already know the answer.

Rule #5
Forget every rule of good parenting. Sometimes, you need to let your kid cry to learn a lesson. Here’s the problem: we don’t need to learn that lesson, too. Do what it takes to keep your kid under control. If that means coloring books, candy or … dare I say it … active parenting, do it. Do what it takes. Your round trip involves two days of your kid’s childhood. Whatever you do for the sake of expediency will not make a lasting impression.

Rule #6
Know when to quit. We all love to scream at airline employees, and we know they are lying to us. When they say that weather caused the problem on a sunny day, when they say that there are no more exit row seats, when they say the flight is overbooked … we just know it’s bullshit. So, we fight. Sometimes, it works. Appeasement in the form of flight vouchers, hotel stays and free meals sometimes flow. But, at a certain point, you need to know when to stop. If you’re on a full flight of people with super-triple-platinum status (and you’re not), don’t expect to get a damned thing. Accept that you will lose.

Fighting the good fight is okay, but at a certain point, you lose the crowd’s sympathy. Be aware that people who look like serial killers don’t often get what they want (or need).

You’re more likely to have a safe and happy holiday season if you follow my advice. So, I wish you all the best in the coming weeks, and I encourage you not to be a moron once you pass through those automatic sliding doors. It happens to all of us, but maybe if we all make that genuine attempt not to make airport life worse, we’ll all have a better time.