A TSA simulator courtesy of Playmobil

by Kent Wien on

I was so excited when I came across this Playmobil Security Check Point on Amazon. As an airline pilot, this is the perfect way to show my two girls, ages 8 and 4, where it is that I work.

My daughters have a ton of Playmobil people already, left over from the airplane and helicopter sets, as well as an airport terminal I’ve bought in an effort to show them that the only real career they’ll ever enjoy must revolve around aviation.

So what better way to indoctrinate my little girls than with this security check-point.

We set up each of the 74 Playmobil figures and their baggage, and then positioned the pilots to cut right up at the front of the line. The girls loved that. And then I explained that crew members get special privileges and don’t have to take their shoes off, which is fortunate, since the shoes on a Playmobil can’t be removed.

We even made this video with a message that just wouldn’t have been possible without the security check point. I think my girls finally get the idea. They’re now begging me for flying lessons, and I suspect these kind of special privileges are the reason.

Now you might balk at the $73.00 price of the set, but let me remind you, security doesn’t come cheap.

UPDATE: apparently the $73.00 collectors price wasn’t too high, since Amazon sold out of the now discontinued set.

According to the reviews, others on Amazon were not quite as excited as I was after purchasing the security checkpoint. Here are just a few examples:
Valuable life lessons packaged in bright plastics

I purchased this product (along with the Playmobil ambulance/mass casualty incident set and the Playmobil road construction set) for my five year old son. After a few hours my son asked me why our society was so keen on infringing on the civil liberties of its citizens in the name of safety and security. Like all the other five year olds whose parents purchased this product, he is precocious and wise beyond his years.

I answered that everyone still has the right to walk anywhere in this country, and that everything else is a privilege and not a right. People who voluntarily surrender their freedoms on the altar of personal convenience have no right to complain about it afterwards. My son is now well on his way to becoming an anarchist.

I wish this toy had been around when I was a child so that we might have learned important life lessons rather than the fluffy sugar-coated false utopia of Rainbow Bright and Friends.

A must-have addition

I hear Playmobil is coming out with a waterboarding torture set. I think I’ll wait for that and buy them together to save on shipping.

Serious Security Breach

My family was planning a vacation to Europe, so I purchased this item to teach my twins about what to expect at the airport and hopefully, alleviate some of their anxiety. We also downloaded the actual TSA security checklist from the American Airlines website and then proceeded with our demonstration. Well, first we had to round up a Barbie and a few Bratz dolls to play the other family members, so that cost us a few extra bucks at the Dollar General and it is aggravating that the manufacturer did not make this product “family-friendly.”

Of course, since the playmobil Dad could not remove his shoes or other clothing items, unlike the Barbie, the playmobil security agent became suspicious and after waving her wand wildly a few dozen times, called her supervisor to wisk the Dad into a special body-cavity search room, (which incidentally led to quite an embarrassing and interesting discussion with my twin daughters about personal hygiene and a slight adjustment to the rules we had them memorize about touching by strangers). But worst of all, since the suitcase did not actually open, the baggage inspector made a call to the FBI and ATF bomb squads which then segregated the family’s suitcase (which btw was the only suitcase they provided for our educational family experience) and according to the advanced TSA regulations, had to blow it up, (since they could not otherwise mutilate the luggage, break off the locks and put one of those nice little advisory stickers on it), which we had to simulate out in the backyard with a few M-80s and other fireworks.

The girls started crying. They became so hysterical by the whole experience that we could not even get them in the car when the time came to actually take our trip, and so we had to cancel the whole thing at the last minute, losing over $7,000 in airfare and hotel charges that we could not recoup do to the last minute cancellations. We’ve now spent an additional $3,000 to pay for the girls therapy and medication over the past year since this incident occurred, and the psychologists have told us that this will affect them for life, so much for their college fund and our retirement. Then, to top it all off, when we tried to use to playmobil phone to call the company to ask for reimbursement, as you might expect, of course the damn thing didn’t even work; neither did our efforts to e-mail them using the computer screen on the baggage checkpoint; and our real-life efforts to contact them to obtain reimbursement have also likewise been ignored.

Worse yet, we had the product tested and found out that it was positive for both lead paint and toxic chemicals, having been manufactured in China by workers holding formerly American jobs, so now we all have cancer and have been given only another year or so to live. My advice – educating your kids about airport security with this toy may actually be more harmful to them than just packing them in the damn luggage with some bottled water & hoping they survive.


So if you’re looking for something for your kids this Christmas, why not try to track down this sure to be collector’s item. It clearly kept me entertained!

Galley Gossip: 10 gifts for flight attendants (and frequent fliers)

by Heather Poole on

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is job security, being able to hold my first bid, two weeks vacation, a raise, longer layovers, more wide-body flying, faster flying times, grateful and polite passengers with a sense of humor, more ferry flights, a cockpit that appreciates who’s on the other side of the reinforced door, and a fun crew

Florence, the flight attendant

Something tells me that ain’t happening. So what can you get that special flight attendant, pilot or frequent flier in your life for Christmas this year? Glad you asked. Here’s my 2009 holiday gift list…

1. AVIATION CRAP STUFF – If there’s one thing flight attendants have in common, it’s the airline museum hiding in the guestroom closet. So if you see something with an aviation theme buy it, wrap it up, and send it to me. I’m talking things like vintage airline posters, sassy bag tags, airplane pajamas, flight attendant dolls, even an airplane Christmas ornament – anything really!

2. HAND LOTION – Flight attendants have always been addicted to fruity smelling antibacterial hand lotion. Now that the flu season is here with a nasty H1N1 scare to top it off, we’re going through germ killer like business class passengers go through wine and bottled water. Bath and Body has a wonderful selection of travel size lotion to stuff a stocking with. Also, we’re constantly washing our hands with harsh airplane soap, so hand lotion with shea butter is a must. Beth, a coworker and friend, swears by Gardners hand therapy cream by Crabtree and Evelyn.

3. CAFFEINE – Three reasons your flight attendant might not be smiling; 1. Long work days. 2. Short layovers. 3. They’ve given up their expensive Starbucks addiction in order to cut back and make ends meet. Every flight attendant deserves (and needs!) a decent cup of Joe, especially when working long hauls, early sign-ins, red eyes, or multiple legs. I’m sorry, but airplane coffee just won’t cut it. While a Starbucks gift card might be nice, a couple packets of Via Ready Brew would work well, too.4. READING MATERIAL – Flight attendants are like vultures when it comes to scavenging seat back pockets for discarded newspapers and magazines after a flight. While I love to score a copy of US, Star, People, ya know, the kind of magazine you can flip through quickly between beverage services, it’s Vanity Fair I can’t commute to work without. What flight attendant wouldn’t love a magazine subscription or a gift card to Barnes & Noble? Or take it a step further and give a Kindle. You’ll help lighten the load.

5. DESIGNER EYE WEAR – Maybe it’s because flight attendants wear polyester for a living, or perhaps it’s because there aren’t too many ways to express our personal style while wearing a uniform, I don’t know, but whatever it is, flight attendants love designer eye wear. Whether it’s a pair of chic sunglasses or trendy eyeglasses, you’ll make a flight attendant go from feeling drab to fab in a matter of seconds. REMEMBER: When you’re flight attendant is happy, passengers are happy. Come on, make flying a more enjoyable experience for all.

6. SHOES – You’ve heard of cart toe, haven’t you? When it comes to flight attendant shoes, we’re always looking for something cute and comfortable – not always an easy combination to find. Go with a gift card to DSW for the picky flight attendant who loves to shop and Zappos.com for the no nonsense gal/guy who knows what they want and wants it now! My next pair may just be one of these – Taipei or Diamond Sparkle

7. COMPUTER – Flight attendants spend half their lives on airplanes and at airport hotels. Is there a better way to stay connected, bid, do trip trades, Skype and read Galley Gossip than with a netbook? One of these tiny laptops won’t weigh a flight attendant’s tote bag down, leaving plenty of room for more important things, like snacks. I love my Acer.

8. FOOD – Really, who loves airport food, and who can even afford it on a regular basis! That’s why flight attendant Henry loves the banana saver. I can see why. No one wants a bag full of mush. As soon I saw my colleague whip together a Cobb salad, using a hard boiled egg container to protect a key ingredient, I knew I had to get one. Which is the exact same way I felt when I saw a flight attendant pull a stainless steel lunch box out of a tote bag and place it directly in the oven – twenty minutes later, VOILA! A home cooked meal.

9. VIDEO GAMES – Not every flight attendant loves doing crossword and Soduko puzzles, including Travis, a commuter with a lot of time to kill. What’s on his Christmas list? The PSP 3000.

10. A LIFE – One that doesn’t include airports, airplanes, passengers, and nonstop complaining. In other words, a day off. Just a day off with a home cooked meal prepared by someone else. That’s it. Just a day off with a home cooked meal and maybe a massage. Nothing else. Just a day off, a home cooked meal, a massage, and…oh….I don’t know…maybe an ionic travel toothbrush sanitizer because a friend just pointed it out and now I’m a bit obsessed.

Photos courtesy of Heather Poole (Me!)

Only approved electronic devices allowed in the cockpit?

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Maybe the flight attendants should start talking to the cockpit, too. When a plane overshot Minneapolis last month because the crew was playing around with personal laptops, national attention turned to what actually goes on in the front of the plane. Congress is kicking around the idea of a new bill that would kick personal electronic devices from the cockpit.

Unsurprisingly, the pilots and airlines aren’t crazy about the idea. They say that the measure would impede progress by making innovation less accessible. Scott Schleiffer, a cargo pilot who’s also thrown some brain time at safety issues for the Air Line Pilots Association, told USA Today, “We would like to have access to tools, and as tools evolve, we would like to have better tools.”

FAA chief Randy Babbit agrees, saying, “We need to be very careful,” in regards to the prohibition of personal devices in the cockpit.

Airlines are starting to bring new technology into the cockpit, with laptops and other devices used to improved weather and safety information. The devices aren’t all that different from what distracted the Northwest pilots who missed Minneapolis. JetBlue has issued laptops to pilots, which are used to push through calculations during takeoff and landing. But, the airline doesn’t allow personal use of them.

So far, two bills have been introduced in the Senate. They would exempt devices used to operate the plane or help with safety issues, but pilots don’t believe that this is enough.

Neither side of the argument addresses the core problem: keeping pilots focused on the job. In theory, extraordinary measures shouldn’t be necessary. Professionals, by definition, should not need that kind of intense oversight. It’s already against the against the law for pilots not to pay attention to their responsibilities, and that’s probably enough regulation. Instead, the solution needs to come to the airlines — organizational measures are needed to ensure that professionals remain professional. Executed properly, the good ones shouldn’t even notice a different.

Greyhound bus driver heads wrong way: Where’s a GPS when you need one?

by Jamie Rhein on

Greyhound bus drivers generally don’t make national news. Pilots who overshoot airports, however, end up having their story told over and over again on about every entertainment vehicle there is. How many places did you hear or read about the Northwest Airlines pilots who missed Minneapolis and didn’t figure out their mistake for 150 miles?

Now, how many of you heard about the Greyhound bus driver who headed the wrong way for more than an hour last week? Yep, last Saturday morning at about 7:14 a.m on October 31st, that’s exactly what happened–a bus driver went the wrong way for more than 70 miles.

Here’s an exclusive Gadling report that has yet to show up anywhere. Gadling knows because Gadling was there.

What started out to be a slam dunk from Cleveland’s bus station to Port Authority in Manhattan turned into a Twilight zone episode. For the band of riders who were heading to New York for a variety of reasons–like the R&B singer who was moving from Michigan to Manhattan to try to make a living, and the young man moving back to Hartford, Connecticut from Cincinnati, the bus was the cheapest travel option.

For this mother and her daughter, it was certainly the cheapest way for a last minute trip to NYC for a Halloween weekend that doubled as a 17th birthday present.

Each of us were initially thrilled to be on the spillover bus out of Cleveland. When there are too many passengers for one bus, another driver is called for a second bus. Riding on the second bus generally means more room.

When the second bus pulled out of the Cleveland terminal at 2:30 a.m. or so, the passengers, mostly with two seats to themselves, settled in for slumber. The bus’ interior lights were off creating an aura of cozy humanity as the bus headed to I-80 east for the trip straight to Manhattan. With the stop in Newark dropped because no one on the bus was going to Newark, this meant arriving ahead of the 11:15 a.m. schedule. Sweet!

At 6:55 a.m., the bus pulled into a truck stop near Milesburg, Pennsylvania. Most everyone got off in search of coffee and a toilet that didn’t move from side to side. Some huddled together for a quick smoke.

By 7:15 everyone was back on the bus, settling in for more shut eye as the sun began to rise. At 8:30 the dream come true ride ended.

The driver’s “Oh, my god! Oh, my god! I don’t believe this. We were almost there,” paired with her frustrated laughter–the kind of laughter one uses when there’s no other possible response because crying would be just too awful, woke up this Gadling rider. From the vantage point of three rows back from the driver on the right side of the bus, it was clear the driver was talking to herself.

Peering out the window looking to see what was up, the first thought was traffic caused by an accident. Nope. That wasn’t it. The highway was clear.

When the bus pulled off the highway, making a jog along a side road, the thought was another rest stop already?

Nope. That wasn’t it either. The driver swung the bus back onto the highway.

When an I-80 east sign appeared, so did a sinking feeling–and an urge to start moaning, “No, no, no!”

When the “Bellfonte 65 miles” (or so) sign appeared, it was clear what had happened. At Milesburg, the driver headed off on I-80 west instead of going east, thus driving back towards Cleveland. We had driven miles in the wrong direction past the State College turn off in the center of Pennsylvania where we had been before.

Unfortunately, it took the driver over an hour to figure out that she was heading away the wrong way.

We would not be arriving in New York City before 11:15. That’s when we’d be hitting the Poconos just in time for Saturday afternoon traffic.

The R&B singer’s friends who were at Port Authority to meet the bus called her wondering where she was after the first bus showed up on time. They told her that they had to go to work and would not be able to help her with her luggage after all.

By the time the bus pulled into Port Authority at 1:30, more than two hours behind schedule, five people felt steamed up enough to head to Greyhound customer service to complain. That meant filling out paperwork describing the event and leaving contact information.

For Gadling, the mistake meant two less hours in Manhattan. For others, it meant missed connections that ended up costing money and a travel headache they hadn’t counted on. The R&B singer had Greyhound comp her the price to store her luggage until she figured out how to get it to her new digs. When we left the customer service counter, the young guy was still trying to figure out how to get to Hartford and contact the people who were to meet him there. He was hoping Greyhound would put him on the train.

Greyhound customer service is going to let us know if they’ll be any ticket compensation once the incident is investigated. A voucher for future travel on Greyhound would be nice. You never know what kind of adventure you’re going to have when a bus pulls out of a station. I’m thinking about taking my son to Manhattan the middle of December to take in the holiday lights.

As for the ride back, the bus pulled into the Columbus, Ohio bus station right on time–7 a.m. on Monday morning.

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Gadlinks for Wednesday 11.4.09

by Brenda Yun on

This is the best day of the week, in my opinion: You’re in a midweek groove, but the weekend is in sight. That’s a perfect metaphor for how I’m feeling this week in life, too. I’m past the midpoint of many things in life, but the end is nigh! We have a whole lot of great travel reads to be thankful for as well, so let’s get started.

‘Til tomorrow, have a great evening!

More Gadlinks HERE.