I’m pretty sure I’m not alone when I say I “love” the Eiffel Tower – how can you not enjoy such a magnificent structure? The design, the sheer beauty of it, and the atmosphere around the tower in such an awesome city make it one of the most popular landmarks in the world.
But there are some people who take their love of the structure just a tad too far.
That is what Erika La Tour Eiffel has done. Not only did she “marry” the Eiffel tower, she actually has sex with it.
Let that sink in for a minute – this lady is so in love with the tower that she climbs it, and consummates her relationship with the Eiffel Tower.
These people are called “objectum sexuals” and their relationships are with objects instead of people. Another lady is so in love with the Golden Gate bridge that she sleeps with a piece of the bridge, and does stuff to it I don’t want to know about.
Click the read more link to see a documentary about these people, and to learn more about how deep their love goes for tourist attractions and other objects.
What is it about Ohio? During Jay Leno’s monologue last night, he quipped about a man who is suing a strip club in Akron for getting hit in the face with a stripper’s boot when it flew off her foot during a high kick.
That’s more weird than the story I heard on Saturday Night Live last September about Sarah Palin’s face being mowed into a corn maze in northern Ohio.
Here’s what happened in Akron, according to this report on Ohio.com. When the man’s cousin from out of town came for a visit, the bright idea of heading to a strip club for a good time came up. So off they went, perching themselves on chairs close to the stage.
Unfortunately, when “Tiara” did her high kick, her boot flew off, smacking Yusuf Evans in the nose, bending it a manner that it shouldn’t have been bent. Because the boot was a platform-style boot, it did extra damage. Now Evans says he has a hard time breathing out of one nostril. It gets clogged, you see. He’s asking for more than $25,000 compensation for his woes.
To avoid getting hit in the face with a stripper’s boot, here are three suggestions for what to see in Akron if one has an out of town guest. You can see a stripper club anywhere, but these three places are one-of-a-kind.
At Harry London Quality Chocolates you can tour the factory and sample chocolates. That might satisfy another type of craving since there are 500 different varieties.
Learn about another type of rubber at the Goodyear World of Rubber Museum. Akron is the “Rubber Capital of the World,” after all.
Dr. Bob’s Home–Dr. Bob Smith founded Alcoholic’s Anonymous. His home is now a museum. Some people who go here say they feel calm.
If you are headed to Hedonism II with visions of tight bodies and loose morals, you’ll certainly find the latter. Greg Boose, of Blackbook, stepped into this nudist resort only to realize what any sane traveler would expect: accountants are looking for easy sex with anyone they can find. Basically, this spot in Negril, Jamaica just makes it easier for you to shack up with the same people you’d find back in the real world.
To lift your sagging spirits, as you realize you won’t get a stripper-style thrashing the woman of your dreams at Hedonism II, stop by “the cave”: the island’s hot spot for that famous alternative to sex (unless you prefer to do it on the grass for the benefit of spectators … and the recipient). Before you head into the mouth (of the cave, sicko), though, it’s probably best to bring your own partner. After all, you don’t want to be pinned down by an accountant in aviator glasses (no offense to our resident aviator).
I was going to file this under “paddling,” but I guess that’s up to you.
Don’t lie. You’ve heard of the AVN Awards … but only from your friends. Er, one friend, really.
Nobody watches porn adult movies, but everyone knows someone who does, right?. Well, now that you have an excuse for knowing about the AVN Awards (porn’s answer to the Oscars) why not check it out for yourself? Part of the broader Adult Entertainment Expo (January 9 – 11, 2009) experience in Las Vegas, it’s only two and a half weeks away, and there’s still plenty of space on the Strip.
Before we get into this, here’s a word of caution. The links in this article are safe for work until you get to the very end. If you want to learn more about the AVN Awards or Adult Entertainment Expo, I’ve supplied the links at the bottom.
January’s a busy time in Las Vegas. The enormous, famous Consumer Electronics Show draws more than 100,000 people every year and overlaps with the first few days of Adult Entertainment Expo, which adds another 30,000 or so conventioneers to the Sands. Fortunately, Las Vegas is rich in hotel rooms. Bargain-hunters can get rates of under $100 a night at the Stratosphere Hotel.
Prefer luxury (or convenience)? The Venetian is the top spot, but it will set you back a minimum of $259 a night. You can right walk from your room to the den of iniquity that is Adult Entertainment Expo convention floor without even stepping outside. Of course, there’s another advantage. If by some chance AVN Award co-hosts Belladonna and Jenna Haze want to join you for the evening (they are porn stars performers, in case you don’t know), the shorter distance allows less time for a change of heart … and you need every advantage.
%Gallery-39959%
Don’t get ahead of yourself. Let’s go over the logistics first. After all, you can’t just stroll up to the Sands and expect the staff to welcome you like they’ve been awaiting your arrival. Remember: 30,000 people for Adult Entertainment Expo, with another 100,000 nerdy onlookers from the Consumer Electronics Show. When you hit the ground in Vegas, you must have your shit together.
Tickets to Adult Entertainment Expo and the AVN Awards are sold separately, and they are pricey (more on the awards show in a bit). One-day access to the expo will set you back $80. If you plan to go all three “fan” days (there are a few days up front when the show is open only to business and media), that’s a substantial amount of cash. To take the sting out a bit, order your tickets online. You’ll save $20 (per day), and you won’t have to wait in what is usually a horrendous line. I’ve seen people who buy tickets at the event spend more than four hours waiting in line.
You’ve run the ticket-and-bouncer gauntlet, now, and you’re on the floor at Adult Entertainment Expo! Music is pounding, and porn stars are grinding stripper poles and groping each other on mechanical bulls (well, they were at the last expo). All the girls and studios whose names you’d never admit you know are in attendance. Monique Alexander, Bree Olson and Sasha Grey are already on the list (these three links are SFW). Make sure your camera battery is as charged as you are, and bring a spare if necessary.
Excited? Okay, let me ruin the dream for you. If you’re going to Adult Entertainment Expo to meet a few starlets, have a blast with your friends and generally act like a jackass, book your flight. You are going for the right reasons. If you have a particular girl in mind and plan to win her over with your good looks and wit, go to the nearest roulette table and bet your life’s savings on Black 17 (much better odds).
Even without the torrid porn star sex that you crave, the convention can be a blast. You’ll get to see all the big names in the business, hobnob with rocker-turned-porn-director Dave Navarro and fondle the new sex toys adult novelty items that are coming to market. The pictures you’ll show your co-workers will trigger long, penetrating conversations.
For me, last year’s best-in-show was Natch Snatch (read about them, SFW), which manufactures environmentally-friendly sex toys. They have a cool idea and a snappy slogan: “Keep the tox out of your box!” The interview below gives a bit more color.
“Grip and grin” is a major part of Adult Entertainment Expo. The performers pose for cameras, and most will sit for a shot with you. But, there is always something interesting going on beyond the long lines to have Sunny Lane sit on your lap for a fraction of a second. Some booths have adult-themed games (dildo ring-toss), performances by strippers and product demonstrations. Last year (thanks to press access). The amateur porn stars of Abby Winters, for example, offered blitz chess at their booth last year. Look around; there’s more to porn than the girls.
Do keep in mind that business is transacted in the background at Adult Entertainment Expo. Sure, the bulk of the event is for the fans, but if you look to the backs of the displays, you’ll catch glimpses of deals being struck that will shape what you-sorry, “your friend”-will watch for the coming year.
If the convention isn’t enough to scratch the sexiest of your itches, buy a ticket to the AVN Awards at Mandalay Bay (separate event). This will set you back another $107 to $240, depending on whether you spring for closer seats. Or, if you’re traveling in a pack, just spend $2,625 for your own table.
In addition to Best Actress, Best Big Butt Series and Best Cinematography, you’ll learn first-hand which company wins Best Packaging!. Thrilling, right? Do it once … to say you’ve done it once. I’ve covered Adult Entertainment Expo twice and still haven’t been to the awards-not interested in listening to porn stars thank mom, dad and their agents for all the support it took to rise to the top.
Looking back, I regret not having gone. Last year’s guests were able to witness living legend Jenna Jameson‘s on-stage meltdown!
Okay, still want to trek out to Las Vegas for the expo and awards? For all you first-timers, here’s some important advice:
1. Bring an extra suitcase. They give out a lot of free stuff. My pen from porn industry hedge fund AdultVest (probably SFW) still works 11 months later. T-shirts, DVDs and posters are abundant.
2. Make a plan. There are a lot of displays and countless girls. Review the schedule to see when your favorites will be available, and use that to structure your day.
3. Don’t dress to impress, because it’s a lost cause anyway. Nobody cares. Instead, opt for comfortable clothing (especially shoes), as you’ll be on your feet all day.
4. Go with friends. Flying solo at a porn convention may make you feel awkward. Anyway, if you do get (incredibly) lucky, you’ll want someone who can back up your story. Would anybody believe that you ducked into a bathroom stall for a quickie with Stoya?
5. Take only the security guards seriously. Everything else is fantasy land, but these guys are paid not to put up with your BS.
When you get ready to leave Sin City and return to reality, be smart when packing your bags. Remember that your carry-on could be searched in a public setting, and the only thing that can make people happy in line at security is to see someone else having a mounting of porn extracted from his (or her) backpack. Yes, it does happen.
If Las Vegas is “adult” Disneyland, then Adult Entertainment Expo is the Magic Kingdom. Go at least once in your life, and make that once 2009.
Links related to this article are below. Content may be SFW, but the domain names could cause problems. Be smart; do this part at home.
Remember the names Michelle Palmer and Vince Acors? They are the two Brits who weren’t really a couple until they met at a champagne brunch in Dubai, got drunk, and then proceeded to get frisky on a beach. Before that party, they didn’t know each other. After they became better acquainted after a cocktail or two, or who knows how many, their friskiness got them much international attention and jail time.
I sort of stood up for Ms. Palmer in an earlier post this summer before all the news came out that perhaps she had been warned by the police to stop her frolicking with Mr. Acors because what they were doing looked a like having sex. Instead of listening to the men in blue, or whatever colors the police wear in Dubai, she kept on with her male companion, who from the sounds of it, had about as much sense as she did. The two have claimed innocence to the sex part. Kissing? Yes. Nookie? No.
Regardless of what really went on, as Josh later posted these two were given a three-month sentence. I found out at Jaunted that these two are leaving Dubai after avoiding jail time. Instead of jail, their behavior will cost each them the equivalent of $272 and deportation. [Here’s an L.A. Times article with more info.]
That’s not such a bad amount of money, but I bet neither of them will look at an expanse of sand the same way again.
And for the rest of you who feel like a bit of friskiness on the beach, it can get you jail time. Really. Even in the U.S., sex on the beach can get you in trouble. If not jail time, there may be a world of embarrassment in your future.