I’ve written about hundreds of SkyMall products and probably looked at thousands over the years. Lately, however, I’ve also been scouring YouTube for videos of the products. You see, I find video demonstrations of SkyMall products to be mesmerizingly awful. Never, though, have I been so enraptured by the videos for one product as I was this week while researching my next SkyMall Monday review. While I was unable to find any official video produced by either the manufacturer or the good people at SkyMall, I was very pleased to discover three unofficial videos that serve to educate, entertain and perplex viewers. So, this week, rather than enduring my ramblings about a SkyMall gadget, I encourage you to sit back, relax and allow those who are more intimately familiar with the product show you how to use InstaCloth.OK, first some necessary background courtesy of the product description:
No washcloth in your hotel room? No problem. Just splash a little water on these 1″ diameter tablets and they unfold into full-sized disposable white wash cloths.
If there’s no washcloth in your hotel room, I question whether you might have tried a little too hard to save money on your accommodations. And frankly, when I add water to something, I want it to become a dinosaur.
But, I digress. This post is about the videos. To start things off, let’s see a demo of InstaCloth hosted by a monotone gentleman who has no idea how to emote when something is “amazing.”
Well, that was informative but entirely too well lit. What if some presumably high teenagers demonstrated the product in a basement during a blackout?
That towel will come in handy when the flashlight dies, that kid trips over his bong and needs a sling for his broken arm.
Lastly, all SkyMall products need to be tasted to be believed. Surely that’s why this girl popped an InstaCloth into her mouth like it was a Mento.
I think it’s best if we just pretend as if that video never happened…and that InstaCloth doesn’t exist.
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.
Summer is fast approaching. Where are you going to spend your vacation? How about visiting one of our country’s many fantastic beach locations? Bring your lover or family, a bathing suit, sun lotion, a blanket and a picnic basket, and you are all set for a romantic get-away or a relaxing family get-together on one of these magnificent sandy stretches.
Delray Beach, Florida
Delray boasts a great family-friendly stretch of sand, with youngsters playing Frisbee games and teens surfing the waves. Enjoy the well-preserved dunes and the warm, snow-white sand and comforting turquoise water. After a day on the beach, take a stroll in the European-style town and dine at the sidewalk bistros.
Mexico Beach, Florida
Mexico Beach is located on Florida’s panhandle near St. Joseph Bay and Cape San Blas on the Gulf of Mexico about 30 miles east of Panama City. This secret, romantic location is still mostly free of the crowds because it is exceedingly hard to get to. Enjoy long stretches of rosy-white sand and crystal blue water.
Kauapea Beach, Hawaii
Kauapea Beach is the most spectacular of all beaches in Hawaii and also one well-known for nudists. The cliffs and plantation in the background are stunning, and the beach is covered with pinkish-yellowish sand, stretching into warm cuddling bluish-greenish water. Though nudity is illegal on all beaches in Hawaii, the laws are rarely enforced. To get there you need to hike down a dirt road and then down a narrow trail from Kalihiwai Road, just about half a mile North of Kilauea on Rt. 56. Consummate your relationship in the most ravishing and breathtaking scenery in the US.
Ocracoke Island Beach, North Carolina
You will need to take a ferry boat from Hatteras Island to get there, unless you own a private helicopter. The degree of isolation afforded by Ocracoke is a big part of its appeal. There is an aura of natural beauty surrounding Ocracoke Island, which features miles of silvery sand and surf that have been well protected.
Wildcat Beach, California
Wildcat Beach is located 30 minutes from San Francisco. A 5-minute hike is all that’s required to reach this sandy gem. Take a soothing stroll hand-in-hand bare-footed on long stretches of ivory sand facing a turquoise and tranquil Pacific Ocean.
New Smyrna Beach, Florida
New Smyrna Beach is located on the central east coast of Florida, south on I-95. Enjoy long stretches of white sand, free of the crowds and noise. This is probably also one of the least polluted beaches in Florida. Perfect for a romantic getaway, pre-baby furlough or fertility vacation.
Poipu Beach, Hawaii
Say “aloha” to paradise at beautiful Poipu Beach on the South shore of Kauai. This island retreat gets the vote for best exotic getaway in the U.S. White sand beaches are decorated with enough lush tropical foliage to make Jimmy Buffet jealous. Visitors often find themselves overwhelmed by the beach’s wealth of activities, many of which include snorkeling, diving, kayaking, surfing, deep-sea fishing and horseback riding.
Sanibel Island, Florida
Sanibel Island is located just off the mainland of Florida’s west coast. Though tourism has increased in recent years, Sanibel still retains much of its natural appeal. Green palm trees set a background for the pristine white sand of Sanibel – all of which is complimented by the crystal blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico. For beach-goers who want to do more than soak up the sun, a variety of activities including golf, tennis, shopping and boating are available to islanders.
South Padre Island, Texas
If you are like most, when you think Texas, the beach is not the first thing to come to mind. However, the Lone Star State is more than just cowboy hats and barbecue. South Padre Island is a stretch of land near Corpus Christi that draws thousands of visitors every year. With a beachside waterpark, parasailing, resort accommodations and enough sandy coastline to last for days, the beaches of South Padre make for an ideal weekend vacay.
Catalina Island, California
Catalina Island is a SoCal dream. Known as “the island of romance,” honeymooners are swept away by the privacy and romance that Catalina offers. Luxurious resorts with ocean-view suites are scattered throughout the island’s shores. Some resorts offer access to champagne, strawberries, chocolates, spa services and even glass-bottom boat tours. Whales and dolphins are no strangers to the area, and couples can view marine wildlife at its best on one of Catalina’s underwater sea excursions via semi-submersible submarine. After a long day at the beach, relax with an intimate couple’s massage or an evening bike ride on a bicycle built for two.
Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Beach season in Maine may be fleeting, but award-winning Old Orchard Beach in Maine has families visiting its shores year-round. The area has a distinct community atmosphere that seems to make time slow down. A traditional pier darts into the waters where families can peruse shops and eat seafood at seaside restaurants. At the center of it all is Palace Playland, a beach side amusement park popular with the kids. Seven miles of white sand exude Old Orchard’s 200 year history as one of the top beaches in Maine.
Cannon Beach, Oregon
Travel to the northwestern corner of the U.S. and visit Cannon Beach, Oregon, a serene encounter with nature and the arts. The premier attraction is Haystack Rock which is said to be the third largest monolith in the world. Towering a staggering 235 feet high, more than 2,000 birds nest on the rock and large amount of delicate sea life resides below it. The beaches here are unusually wide and stretch a lengthy nine miles. Beach comers can browse through the shops that line the beach and select souvenirs amongst an endless supply of homemade crafts and works of art.
Malibu Beach, California
If you are looking for the beach to see and be seen, look no further than Malibu Beach. One of the most popular beaches in the world, Malibu Beach draws even the biggest celebrities to its vigorously maintained coastline. The likes of David Letterman, Tom Hanks and Demi Moore are known to have called Malibu home in addition to many others. The beaches of Malibu are great for morning runs, family picnics and intimate seaside gatherings, and getting a glimpse of your favorite silver screen actor is a welcome bonus.
Panama City Beach, Florida
Panama City Beach, or PCB as the locals call it, is a descended upon by thousands of college students looking to make the most of their spring break vacations each year. Keg parties and white t-contests rule the day, and bars, nightclubs and restaurants offer a variety of entertainment when the sun goes down. It is not unusual to encounter film crews from networks such as MTV looking to promote spring break programming. Though the beach is popular with families year-round, you may want to avoid bringing the kids along during spring break.
Galveston Beach, Texas
According to U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, the gulf coast allows for the best shell collecting in all of North America. Galveston Beach, which is already popular with tourists due to its large indoor waterpark and Moody Gardens, offers premier shelling – especially when windy cool fronts from the North push the waters back, revealing an abundance of natural shells ripe for the picking. Children and parents alike will love scouring the shores for these tiny treasures.
Biscayne National Park, Florida
Snorkeling is perhaps the most popular water sport because it requires virtually no skill and minimal physical requirements. Biscayne National Park in southern Florida is home to the best snorkeling in the U.S. Snorkelers observe entire underwater ecosystems, coral reefs, pirate shipwrecks and colorful marine wildlife. Unlike most national parks, Biscayne is 95 percent underwater and is highly preserved due to the government’s stringent protection of the park.
Hanalei Bay, Hawaii
Hanalei Bay’s location is somewhat off the beaten path of the Hawaiian islands. Yet this beach offers vacation seekers adventure within a wide-assortment of activities including surfing, canoe rides, stand-up paddle and surfboard rentals. Lined with palm trees, and covered with white sands. This beach sits between a backdrop of stunning waterfalls and green mountains which stretch across the sky-line of Hanalei Bay. The 2-mile coast is home to spectacular plant and animal life, and gets more rain than any other Hawaiian island.
Siesta Beach, Florida
Consistently rated as a top 10 beach in the USA, Siesta Beach holds some of the finest, whitest sand in the world. Soft to the touch, these unpolluted sands are a tourists delight, as the county of Sarasota takes extra care in making sure the sands stay clean. Off shore, there are amazing coral reefs, supply recreational opportunities, for snorkelers including unique underwater formations. Siesta Beach, attract snorkelers and scuba divers as the warm crystal clean water is ideal for swimming. The beaches extra wide shore is ideal for sports and fun activities.
Cooper’s Beach, New York
New York, Cooper’s Beach is surrounded by large sand dunes, dotted with long beach grass. The beach sand is made of grainy white-quartz sand, (dark brown in color). What makes Cooper’s Beach particularly special is the view – when night comes, the moon shines off the water and is very romantic.
Coronado Beach, California
Coronado Beach has lush subtropical vegetation, a Mediterranean climate, and a warm and mild surf. The Hotel de Coronado, a local landmark, was built more than a hundred years ago. This timeless treasure offers “spectacular” architecture. Coronado Beach’s sunsets are truly spiritual, when viewing the San Diego shore-line. Seeing the sunshine collide with ocean, is so amazing. The climate is warm and the air is truly freshening.
Hamoa Beach, Hawaii
Who could turn down a beach once frequented by writer Ernest Hemingway? Ranked as one of the world’s best beaches, Hamoa Beach includes a coral-and-lava-sand shore, rimmed by tall cliffs. Hamoa Beach is covered with coconut palms and “beautiful” flowering vegetation. The beach has unbelievable waves, which attract thrill seeker surfers, from around the world.
Cape Hatteras, North Carolina
If you want to see what a beach looked like when the native Americans inhabited the region, Cape Hatteras is the place. With its historic fishing villages and some of the best surfing along the East Coast. Cape Hatteras was the first U.S. National Seashore, designated as coastal areas for preservation. Make sure you bring insect repellent the sand fleas and mosquitoes are ferocious. The Cape Hatteras lighthouse, is the most famous lighthouse in the country. The lighthouse has 257 steps and is 210 feet tall.
Cape Florida State Park, Florida
A large offshore sand shoal makes the emerald-colored waters off Cape Florida State Park ideal for swimming, humans, and sea life. You can watch –sea turtles, swimming near the shore. The Cape Florida Lighthouse allows for a breathtaking view of this beautiful beach. There are coral reefs, which divers can explore year around. The beach has a romantic, appeal and allows lovers to go on sunset strolls.
Coast Guard Beach, Massachusetts
Accessible only by bike or shuttle bus. Coast Guard Beach of Cape Cod, Massachusetts, has a ponderous view and soft sand that slopes down to the water’s edge. If you visitor, swimming is only feasible during the summer. Water temperatures get no warmer than 65 to 70 degrees. Coast Guard Beach is named, after the old Coast Guard station, it offers an astonishing, view of the bay.
Beachwalker Park, South Carolina
Beachwalker Park is a public beach with an abundance of recreational resources. Visitors can canoe and kayak through the tidal inlets. The beach is home to thousands of birds. Individuals can walk along the compact sand of the 10-mile barrier island. Those who love fishing can catch amazing shrimp, big enough to eat and even large eatable game fish, frequent the shore-line. The sun is heavy and the surf is smooth and calming. At night, walking the beach, stir at the moonlight and share an unique experience where phytoplankton, luminosities the sand.
Assateague National Seashore, Virginia
Four wheelers and surf fishermen can ride side by side with the famous wild horses. Like other Atlantic beaches, the surf is kind to swimmers. Maryland’s Ocean City is a short drive to the North for plenty of food and fun for adults and kids.
East Atlantic Beach, New York
Like many overlooked Atlantic beaches, “EAB” is vast and wide. Weekdays are quiet, giving this expansive stretch an exclusive vibe. The neighboring “West End” rocks with restaurants and bars that feature cold drinks, hot crowds and great live music. Less than an hour from New York City as well.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
This South Florida spot is the perfect “grab a book” escape. Somehow the water at Deerfield Beach manages to be a perfect 78 degrees. Great cocktails (and shrimp cocktail) at one of the little food shacks that line the boardwalk. You can also rent a bike to cruise A1A and check out the trendy scene in nearby Delray.
Andrew Molera State Park, California
Right off the breathtaking Pacific Coast Highway. Set up camp, then hike dense trails that lead to the dramatic bluffs and cul de sacs of this Northern California coastal gem. Wildlife (deer, seals, sea turtles) can all be seen in abundance either at sunrise or sunset.
Ditch Plains, New York
Low key and hassle-free, Ditch Plains, located on the far Eastern tip of Long Island, is literally “The End.” The local beaches are home to world-class east coast surfing and Hamptons celebrities galore. Paul McCartney’s a regular, but only because no one bothers him. One of the best food trucks in the country holds court in the parking lot.
Hailewa Beach, Hawaii
Hale’iwa Beach is one of Hawaii’s great surfing Meccas. In winter, be awed as the pros and hardcore locals take on the 50-70 footers (The ground literally shakes when the waves hit the beach). The rest of the year is safe for swimming, kayaking and snorkeling. The perfect blue water and crystal white sand are true paradise.
Sea View Beach, Massachusetts
Sea View Beach is another lesser known Atlantic Coast gem. Wide and quiet with gorgeous bluffs. Legendary surf fishing and pods of dolphin are a normal occurrence. The expansive quietude makes this spot quintessential Cape Cod. Great shopping and eating on adjacent Route 28.
Acadia National Park, Maine
Acadia is among the East Coast’s more popular national parks, but the beaches are underrated and transcendent. Rugged hikes spill out onto the most Northeastern point in the United States. The town of Arcadia Bar Harbor is authentic and bustling with great food and nightlife.
South Beach, Florida
South Beach is probably the only” mega-star” on our list. Crank up Pet Sounds, slip on the shades, take the top down on Collins Ave. and let the rest speak for itself. You’ve arrived.
Oval Beach, Michigan
The Atlantic and Pacific Coast beaches of America usually get all the love, but the state of Michigan boasts some of the longest stretches of prime beach you’ll find anywhere in America. Head for the state’s Western shore bordering Lake Michigan where you’ll find lovely beach gems like Saugatuck Michigan’s Oval Beach. Not only is this beach consistently named among America’s best, the lovely sand dunes and beautiful sunsets will have you in beach heaven. Midwest beach lovers represent!
US Airways and United Airlines both stand to receive multi-million dollar fines from the FAA for maintenance violations.
US Airways’ violations include failing to inspect cargo doors and landing gear on a few plans and for failing to perform routine checks on dozen of others. US Airways responded quickly to the news, saying that the violations stem from the integration of their maintenance systems back from October 2008 to January of 2009, and that they are working on addressing the issues. The airline could be fined up to $5.4 million. This is the isn’t the first time US Airways has been fined this year either. In January, they were fined for violating rules involving oversold flights.
United’s violation is perhaps more troubling. The airline faces a $3.8 million fine for a single incident. In April 2008, a Boeing 737 returned to Denver after its engine shut down with low oil pressure. When the engine was inspected, two shop towels were inside. The towels “had been used to cover openings in the oil sump area” instead of the regulation caps. The towels were believed to have been there since December 2007, when maintenance was performed on the engine. This sounds terrifying, but according to the Cranky Flier website, it isn’t quite as scary as it sounds. The caps are only used during maintenance and then removed.
But still, the FAA is taking the incident seriously. “As a result of United’s failure to follow its maintenance procedures. . .it flew the aircraft on more than 200 revenue flights when it was not in an airworthy condition,” the FAA said in a statement.
I love the beach (yes, I do leave the SkyMall Monday headquarters from time to time). When I’m not admiring my Alien Gnome Bandits or towing my nieces in a shoe-shaped raft, you can find me relaxing on the beach with a good book, some sweet tunes and the tiniest bathing suit I can find [Note: I have photos of me in said bathing suit, but Gadling’s editors threatened me with great bodily harm if I included them in this post]. The problem with my tiny bathing suit, though, is that it has no pockets. Sure, I could wear my denim cutoffs, but denim just doesn’t breath. So, what is a man in a tiny bathing suit supposed to do with his Chapstick, sunscreen, keys, iPhone, water, magazine, book and other accessories. Use a backpack, you say? And get tan lines from the straps? Would I be wearing a banana hammock if I didn’t care about tan lines? Geez! No, I need something that is comfortable, is made for the beach and will keep my valuables snug (just like my mankini does). Only one thing could solve a problem of such epic magnitude: SkyMall. And wouldn’t you know it, our favorite catalog has just the product for this conundrum. Everybody, I’d like you to meet the Genuine Turkish Wrap.
Finally, someone has made a towel with pockets. And it has snaps to keep it secure so that I only show off my budgie smugglers when I’m ready for the sun. It’s like a towel and a skirt had a baby and that baby was a boy! Think my analogy is weak? Well, Ivan Drago thought America was weak and how’d that turn out? But don’t take a jingoistic film sequel’s word for it. Check out the product description:
While most towels come loose easily and must be constantly re-tied around the body, these wraps fasten in place and are fitted with pouch pockets…into which lip balm, jewelry, sunglasses, suntan lotion, or shampoos can be placed
It fits multiple shampoos! Plural! Beat that with your regular beach towel that holds no shampoos. And the really good news? The product description goes on to say that “one size fits most.” That’s potentially great for you…maybe…it depends…but probably…fingers crossed.
So, rub some zinc on your nose, pour yourself into your tiniest swimsuit and invite the sexiest girl you know (because there is also a Genuine Turkish Wrap for the ladies). We’re going to the beach! Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.