We don’t mean to hate ‘em but we do. The moment of truth is when you find your seat and
hope pray that a child will not be sitting next to, in front or back of, or even close to you. Children just don’t make good neighbors on an airplane. On a playground, maybe, but not when you’ve purchased a seat and five hours of flying time for $200.
Take my nephew, for instance. When his mouth is closed, he really is the most adorable little human: soft baby skin, big innocent eyes. But once his breath quickens and he makes even the slightest peep, he’s handed off to my sister like a football on 4th down.
There’s something about adjusting to the cabin air pressure that, well, turns these little cuties very ugly. Their skin turns pink, their eyes close and wrinkle, and then the mouth gapes open and the shrillest human sound escapes.
The child is inconsolable. And the parent? Well, there’s really nothing s/he can do about it except bounce the child on her lap and pray the crying will stop — and soon. Nothing — not even an emergency stop-it-from-crying kit — can calm this child. What makes the situation even worse is that the cry sounds like it’s amplified by a loudspeaker when it’s contained in the tight quarters of an airplane cabin. We’re not at a Cry Baby Matinee. We’re on a plane, and we prefer the experience to be as peaceful and pleasant as possible.
Let’s face it: an airplane is not a suitable place for a crybaby, nor is it suitable for a messy toddler who likes to kick the back of your seat for the whole flight. It’s a reality, yet one we can’t do much about.
Earplugs may help — or maybe a child section to every plane.
Read about ALL the passengers we love to hate.