British Airports on High Alert for Boob Bombs

Flickr user AngryWayne

Large breasts can get women out of a parking ticket or perhaps earn them free drinks at a bar, but they may also mean additional screening from airport security.

In a headline that seems ripped directly from a Conan O’Brien monologue, airport security agents are on the lookout for terrorists with explosive breast implants.

The United Kingdom’s Daily Mirror reports Heathrow Airport is on high terror alert after word that Al-Qaeda is plotting attacks on airlines flying out of London. With airport scanners able to detect volatile threats outside the body, not inside, Al-Qaeda’s chief bomb-maker, Ibrahim al-Asiri, allegedly devised an explosive that can be hidden in an implant or body cavity.

As a result of the new concerns, security lines at Heathrow and many major world airports are much longer than usual. The Mirror quotes one staff member who admits security personnel have been ordered to “pay particular attention to females who may have concealed hidden explosives in their breasts,” but didn’t go into further details.

With Homeland Security agents already under scrutiny for their often invasive search measures, what new screening measures will they implement? Will airline passengers agree to even more thorough screenings? After the shoe bomber Richard Reid was caught, fliers have had to take off their shoes. What measures would the TSA enact if a breast bomber strikes? Will female fliers above a C-cup be given their own security line?

Assuming the reports are true, how popular are these breast bombers at the Al-Qaeda annual social mixers?