7 gravest threats facing America, according to GQ (It’s not Capri pants)

I admit it. I actually got the 50 Anniversary Issue of GQ with the big “50 Most Stylish Men of the past 50 years” title on the cover. The cover page comes in 10 mutations, ranging from Michael Jordan to JFK. I got Johnny Depp because he lives in France…and that’s how this is all related to travel, in case you were wondering. (I also got it because Johnny Depp is, you know, Johnny Depp.)

Here is what Gentlemen’s Quarterly thinks the Gravest Threats to America are:

  1. The Media (“I like my truth like my coffee: black or white. Shades of gray are for brain tissue and for the weak. neither has a place in the News Business.”)
  2. Immigrants (“Yes, Virginia, there is a right kind of foreigner. The kind who comes to America, loses his brogue, and creates US Steel”)
  3. Divorce (“Walk it off. Work it out. Thirty day return policy and then no exchanges.”)
  4. The Homosexual Agenda (“I am perfectly fine with someone being gay as long as he marries a woman and has kids like the rest of us.”)
  5. Race (“The worst thing about affirmative action is that it encourages reverse discrimination, so-called because it goes in the opposite way of how we naturally discriminate.”)
  6. Religion (“America is a Christian nation…Think of Judeo-Christian values like ‘Sears, Roebuck and Co.’ Judaism is Roebuck.”)
  7. Evolution (“Just because Darwin was a sick twist with a God Complex doesn’t mean you have to buy into this power trip.”)

Yes, I know what you are thinking. Although funny, it is ignorant and oversimplified. At the same time, these seven points nicely sum up what America doesn’t want the rest of the world to know about America, don’t they?