Restless natives refused entry, opportunity to beat up English on home turf

After days of travel document bureaucracy and Homeland Security snafus, the 23-member Iroquois Nationals lacrosse team has still been refused boarding flights and denied entry into the United Kingdom based on the explanation that their yellow Iroquois Nation passports are not internationally recognized. Never mind that the Haudenosaunee Confederacy passports have been used to travel outside of the United States since 1977, never mind that her majesty Hilary Clinton issued her very special Secretary of State magic wand blessing over the team so that they could travel on their passports “just this once”, the British border agency still insists the team arrive in Manchester, England carrying either a United States or Canadian passport. (How shocking that of all people, it’s the British who would be sticklers for rules.)

But in all the media hubbub that’s followed, nobody’s pointing to the obvious: the Iroquois Nationals were scheduled to play the English team this very evening (July 15th), however as of this morning, they were forced to forfeit the game, granting all points to the English team, (not unlike much of history.) That the people who invented the game of lacrosse are being denied access to the world championships held in the same country that once tried to divide and conquer their people has more irony than some long-running British sitcom. When asked to explain exactly why the Iroquois lacrosse team (with travel passes issued by the American Secretary of State) was still denied entry to England, the British Embassy in Washington, DC referred to the following statement from the UK Border Agency:

“We would be pleased to welcome the Iroquois Nationals Lacrosse Team but like all those seeking entry into the UK, they must present a valid immigration document that we recognise as valid to enable us to complete our immigration and other checks . . . The [Iroquois] passport does not have security features you would expect from a modern international travel document. There are no encryption devices, no holograms, etc. They are paper and would be relatively easy to recreate.”

One would think that this whole fiasco might be resolved simply by the US State department issuing a list of cleared names to the UK government. In their recently released statement, the UK says they are in the process of further discussion with the US Authorities to resolve this situation.

The Iroquois Confederacy consists of over 125,000 people who live in the United States and Canada. Another fun fact: Haudenosaunee means “people of the long house.”