Get up close and personal with the calendar girls of VivaAerobus!

by Scott Carmichael on

UPDATE: Gadling managed to score exclusive access to the actual calendar, check out the photos here!

VivaAerobus, the upstart Mexican low cost carrier has taken a page out of the Ryanair guide to getting people to pay attention to you.

Each year, Ryanair publishes a calendar with their sexiest flight attendants, so VivaAerobus decided to bring that concept to their own airline. Of course, since VivaAerobus is partially owned by the Ryan family, I’m sure they did not have to look too far for inspiration.

To give passengers an idea what they can expect in the calendar, they posted a short video clip of the “making of” on Youtube. The video clip may not be entirely “safe for work”, so save it till you can close your office door, or better yet, watch it on your mobile phone.

The calendar will be available at VivaAerobus ticket desks and on board the airline for $10, but the best part is that all proceeds benefit a Mexican children’s cancer institute, so don’t feel too guilty for buying one.

Can’t watch the video at work? Check out some of the images from the “making of”!

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Galley Gossip: Just a few things a flight attendant doesn’t want to hear

by Heather Poole on

1. BRACE! – I’ll bet you there wasn’t a flight attendant in the world who did not open their flight manual and review the ditching procedures right after seeing what an amazing job the US Airways crew did evacuating a flight after landing in the Hudson River. On my last flight from New York to Chicago, out of La Guardia, you better believe I felt for my life vest under my jumpseat and did a quick 30 second review of our emergency evacuation procedures before take-off. While I know what I have to do, do you know you should do when the flight crew yells BRACE!

2. QUICK, I NEED A BARF BAG! – The last time I heard these dreaded words I happened to be standing in the first class galley. A passenger from coach came running all the way up the aisle and proceeded to throw up all over the lead flight attendant who was holding an open plastic bag, two commuting flight attendants sitting on the jumpseat, the cockpit door, the first class galley counter, and all over the linoleum floor. The sick woman pretty much made a semi-circle from the entry door to the coffee pots, hitting everything in sight – except for me, thank God. I felt really bad for her. I felt even worse for the other flight attendants. But it was Chris, a fellow coworker, who got the worst of it. When he bent over to clean up the vomit with a little shovel and crystals that turn barf into a foamy gel, his cell phone fell out of his starched shirt pocket and smack dab into the mess.

3. I PROBABLY FLY MORE THAN YOU DO – That’s the phrase that bothers my friend Anthony, a flight attendant for a foreign carrier, the most. It’s what usually follows next that bothers me – I’M A (insert frequent flier status here)! Even so, that doesn’t give you the right to do whatever it was you were doing that you were asked to stop doing, something you already know you shouldn’t be doing, given the miles you’ve flown. Now turn it off and put it away.

4. CAN I HAVE A GLASS OF WATER – SO I CAN TAKE A PILL Passengers don’t realize how quickly airplanes are turned around. Before I even have a chance to stow my crew bags and check the emergency equipment to make sure that it’s there and working, passengers are already making their way down the aisle to their seats. Boarding is by far the busiest time for a flight attendant. Half the time we haven’t even had a chance to set up the galley when passengers, five seconds after walking aboard the airplane, come running to the back of the aircraft to ask for “pill water.” Which is why we sometimes look a little flustered by the request.

5. SO DOES THAT MEAN THE ALCOHOL IS FREE? Whenever an announcement is made that there’s going to be a delay, nine times out of ten a passenger (or four) will ask if the alcohol is free, and freak out when it’s not free, because when it rains or snows or the airplane has a mechanical, free alcohol is always the solution. I mean who doesn’t want to get trapped in a flying tube for hours on end with a bunch of drunk passengers?

6. YOU’RE HOLDING US HOSTAGE! Luckily the only passenger I’ve ever heard use this phrase was celebrity passenger who is known for her magazine and television show. She made this announcement years ago in the first class galley after sitting on the tarmac in New York for over an hour due to icy weather conditions at the airport. We were flying to Bermuda. After the crew explained that we could not go back to the gate and lose our spot for take-off just for her she eventually sat back down and surprisingly did not say another word. My coworker Florence, who found herself with a three hour air traffic control hold in Chicago on a full Super80 flight with hysterical passengers – two who were claustrophobic and one who kept threatening to sue because the airline was holding him hostage, announced, ‘And how do you think I feel?” My sentiments exactly. No one likes a delay, including flight attendants.

7. ARE THERE ANY FIRST CLASS SEATS AVAILABLE? Recently a woman asked me this question on a flight from New York to San Francisco because her headsets didn’t work at her seat and she refused to move to another aisle seat in coach unless her husband could sit right beside her. The flight was full. Trust me when I tell you that if you feel the need to ask this question, the answer is no. Flight attendants do not upgrade passengers. Gate agents are the only ones with upgrading power, so those are the people you need to schmooze. But keep in mind that not only is there a standby list for those oh-so-precious premium seats, and each and every passenger on that list knows exactly where their name is on the list, there are very strict rules about moving passengers from coach to first class when there are seats available.

8. CAN YOU HELP ME GET MY BAG IN THE OVERHEAD BIN? For those of you who follow my blog, this question was addressed in my post, flight attendant pet peeve #3: you want me to do what? Simply put, unless you are an unaccompanied minor, elderly or handicapped and your bag is not too heavy, I will not put the bag in the bin. What I will do is help you find a place for the bag. I may assist you in getting the bag inside the bin, but the key word here is assist, people, as in team effort, because I will not do it for you.

9. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FOOD / WE HAVE TO PAY FOR FOOD / YOU RAN OUT OF MY PREFERRED FOOD CHOICE? Exactly that – there’s no food, you have to pay for food, or we ran out of your preferred food choice – nothing more. It’s not personal. It’s business. So whatever you do, please don’t get mad at me, I’m just the messenger. Trust me when I tell you that flight attendants dread passing this message along to you. We already know how you’re going to respond. So just where did the service go? Unfortunately it disappeared along with those high ticket prices, which is why we’re now all stuck inside the flying metal tube together. Can’t we all just get along, regardless of the food situation?

10. ON MY LAST FLIGHT… These four little words are just the beginning of what I like to call “the bad response,” which is the response I often get whenever I tell someone what I do for a living. Ya see these four oh-so-innocent words will now be followed by a pause, which will then be accompanied by a weird look, which of course leads to a very bad story about their last flight. Needless to say, the conversation usually doesn’t go so well after this. How can it? I’ve now been linked to the worst flight this person has ever had.

11. (From creepy pilot) ANYONE WANT A BACK RUB? Uh – no! I don’t think so. Now here’s your coffee. Get back in the cockpit and stay there! This question came from my favorite pilot, Bob, the singing pilot, who is so not creepy at all, even though he did write a song about me – Lay across your jump seat, Heather.

12. HERE, TAKE THIS DIAPER? I’ll take the diaper, but only if you’ll work the beverage cart. Seriously, the last thing I want to touch is a dirty diaper (or crumpled snot rag) when I serve people food and drinks for a living. It’s just not sanitary to do such a thing. Look, I have a two year-old who travels often, so I know how it is, I know it’s not easy, but you’re going to have to keep the diaper at your seat until the aisle is clear and you can dispose of it properly in the lavatory trash receptacle.

13. WHEN DO WE GET THERE (During boarding) As I stand in the aisle and stare blankly at my watch, I’m trying to remember where we are right now, because I’ve been to several cities already, and where are we going again? Oh yeah, now I’ll just add the flying time, subtract the time change, and while I’m doing this passengers are flagging me down for “pill water” and asking me to help stow their bags. “Don’t they know what time they land when they buy their ticket?” asked Lynne, a fellow coworker. “Honestly, flight attendants only know what time they have to report to the airplane.” Sad, but true.

14. CAN YOU BREAK A $100? Uh-no! Which is exactly why you’re asking. Whenever somebody asks me to break a large bill, I make it a point to find the change, even if I have to go through the cabin begging each and every passenger to help me out. Usually passengers who carry big bills are trying to score a free headset, drink, or snack. Oh I know exactly what they’re doing. And don’t ask me for change every five seconds in flight, either. I don’t have it. I’ll get it to you as soon as possible. I’m not going anywhere. I promise!

15. WHERE ARE WE? On the airplane. Honestly, I don’t know where we are when I’m working a flight. I don’t have a chance to sit and stare out the window. What I do know is that we’re not there yet and the man in 24B would like a diet coke and his wife would like a glass of water – no ice, and that there are at least 50 more passengers behind you left to serve, before we pull the cart back up to the front of the aircraft and throw it all away. Please don’t make me walk all the way to the back of the aircraft, not when I’m in the middle of the service, just to call the cockpit and find out where we are – approximately, because we won’t be there for long and you know you’re going to ask me again, because we’re still not there yet.

Other tales from the skies
Amazing and insane stories from a real-life flight attendant and co-pilot

Wacky flight attendant announcements from an airline no longer with us

by Scott Carmichael on

This hilarious collection of cabin announcements was made by Kurt Stecker who recorded them during his time at ATA airlines. The clip is part comedy and part tribute to ATA, which ceased operation on April 2nd 2008.

The end of ATA put 2300 people out of work, and stranded almost 10,000 passengers around the country. Still, it is obvious from the clip that at least one person working with ATA had a great time, as he puts on a fantastic show to entertain his passengers.

Galley Gossip: A question about being a mother and a flight attendant

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

I have one quick question for you… I am about to be a new mom (with a baby boy due in February) and I’m also a flight attendant. I love my job (people, travel, benefits… everything!) but I’m worried about how hard it’s going to be for me to be a flight attendant and a mommy. Any tips?

Varina

Dear Varina,

First I must congratulate you on being a new mom! It’s the best job in the whole world. As for being a flight attendant and a mom, I’m going to tell you two things several flight attendants told me when I was pregnant and worried about how I would handle flying and being a new mother…

  1. Don’t worry
  2. It will all work out

And it did work out, even though I did worry, and still worry – at times! What do I worry about? What I’m going to do when my two year-old is in school and what am I going to do if we have another child. I want another child. How am I going to make that work – writing, flying and commuting? And just when I start to get all worked up, those flight attendant voices come back to me and say…

  1. Don’t worry
  2. It will all work out

Now I’d like to add one more thing…DON’T QUIT! No matter how hard it may seem when you come off maternity leave and find yourself back on the line, don’t give up your job until you’ve figured out how to make it work for you, because it can work, it’s just a matter of finding the routine that is right for you and your family. Whether you drop trips, fly turns, work nights, work days, only work the weekends, or work a week straight and have three weeks off (like me), you’ve got options, lots and lots of options. What makes our job great job is the flexibility, so work it, girl!

Of course you’re going to feel like quitting, we’ve all been there, but do me a favor and give it at least six months before you make any drastic decisions. I say this because I know many new mothers who wanted to give up their flight attendant careers the year their babies were born, but then, later on, were glad they continued to work. With a job like ours, there’s no reason to quit! Remember, the first year is always the hardest.

SUPPORT: If your significant other is supportive and understands your job, you’ll be just fine. While my husband is a great guy, he’s a hard worker and doesn’t always know when to turn it off. Because I live in Los Angeles and work out of New York, he gets frustrated when I’m gone for a week straight. In the beginning, it was my husband who stressed me out the most, not my job. I can’t tell you how many times he begged me to quit flying. But I stood firm and reminded him of our second date when I told him I would never quit – EVER! Thankfully my husband has gotten much better when it comes to my job and taking care of our son. It took two years, but he’s now handling the situation like a pro.

FAMILY: The hardest part about being a flight attendant and a new mom is worrying about your child when you are away from home. If you know your child is in good hands with people who love him, you’ll be more at ease. In my post, A question about being a flight attendant when I have a small child at home, I mentioned that my parents and in-laws have helped me out immensely during reserve months. Without them, I don’t know that I’d be able to do my job, not when my husband travels as often as he does for business. While line months are doable, reserve months are killer. While it’s hard on my husband and I when I’m working away from home, my two year-old son is just fine.

“Ready to go back to California?” I asked my son as we walked to a nearby park in Queens, New York last week. It was my day off of reserve and my mother-in-law had just dropped him off to stay with me.

“No,” he said matter of fact as he held on tight to a big yellow bouncy ball.

“No?” I repeated, reading his face for any signs of distress. “You don’t want to go home?”

He smiled. “Not yet.” Then he added, “I like New York!”

Me, too!

And there you have it. My son is happy in New York, even though mommy is working. Me, not as happy, not when I’m on reserve for the entire month. But knowing my son is doing just fine makes flying a lot easier on me. While I miss my son greatly when I’m working, my son is getting to know his father and grandparents in a way he wouldn’t have if I didn’t have my job. So if you’ve got family nearby who are willing give a helping hand, take the offer and run – er, fly!

DAYCARE – During the months I hold a line, I take my son to a preschool / daycare. He’s been going to this facility since my four month maternity leave and six month personal leave of absence came to an end – he was just ten months old. Trust me when I tell you that it was harder on me than it was for him to go to daycare. The key, though, is finding a place that you are comfortable with, a place that you can trust. Because most daycares have waiting lists up to six months long, make sure to start your daycare search as soon as possible. While I still feel a little sad dropping my son off at school, I know he’s fine, especially when he says, “I had a fun day at school, mommy!” when I put him the car at the end of the day. At first I would only take my son to daycare when I worked, which was about eight days a month. Now I make sure to take him at least twice a week, even when I’m not working. I don’t want each time he goes to daycare to be like his first time. To alleviate stress, I try to be consistent. Even when I want to keep him home with me.

NANNY – While I didn’t go the nanny route, I did entertain it. The reason I chose not to use a nanny is because the nanny could get sick and if that happened who would watch my son while I was flying and my husband worked? We do not have family or friends nearby who can step in at the last minute in case of an emergency. However, I do know many flight attendants who use nannies and even a flight attendant who shares a nanny with another flight attendant. They alternate work days. One flight attendant I know placed an ad in the newspaper for a sitter at night and found an elderly woman who ended up working for her until all three children were grown. I know another flight attendant who found help through her church. Just keep your ears open and talk to flight attendants and other mothers around you.

Like I mentioned above, you’ve got option, options, and more options, it’s just a matter of figuring out which combination works best for you. Even if you try them all and still nothing works, at least you gave it a shot. You’ll be able to look back with no regrets. Hey, flying is not for everyone, I know that, especially when you’ve got the most important job in the world – caring for a child.

Hope that helps,

Heather Poole

Have a question? Ask me! Skydoll123@yahoo.com

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Hot or not? JetBlue decides for flight attendant

by Tom Johansmeyer on

JetBlue may not comment on litigation, as it told USA Today, but clearly flight attendant attire is fair game. The airline is being sued by Karin Keegan. In what appears to be the friendly skies’ version of “put out or get out,” Keegan was not allowed to board a JetBlue flight because she wasn’t dressed provocatively enough. After ditching her threads for something she felt would be more consistent with JetBlue’s unusual “standards,” Keegan was told that she had missed her flight … and that she should have dressed the part of a sexy flight attendant from the start.

Keegan was flying JetBlue because of an agreement the airline has with her employer (Delta), under which Delta employees are ferried among locations. The altercation occurred in October 2007. The flight attendant complained to the Equal Opportunity Employment Commission, which gave her a “right to sue” letter late last year. Though not an employee of JetBlue, the law gives her the right “sue over workplace harassment even when they are not directly employed by the alleged harasser,” according to reporting by USA Today.

JetBlue’s recent spanking in Connecticut small claims court is nothing compared to this debacle, which is headed for federal court. If the airline is looking for some form of precedent to cite, it may want to consider France’s advances in attire and accommodation.

Maybe a scantily clad workforce is JetBlue’s way of making a nine-hour stint on the runway more bearable for passengers, but c’mon guys, there has to be a better way.

[Via USA Today]

[Picture via The Sun]


Keegan wasn’t provocative enough. Check out the stories from these women — who were all too provocative!