Delay grounds entire airline for a month

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Delays in Newark are keeping an entire airline on the ground. We’ve seen how a single flight’s delay can have impacts at airlines across the country, but preventing an entire airline from going wheels up … that’s huge.

JetAmerica has had to defer its launch for a month, citing problems getting takeoff slots at Newark Liberty International Airport. This isn’t the first time an airline’s blamed an airport, but it must resonate with the many passengers who have spent too much time at Liberty gates thanks to delays.

Of course, this holdup is costing JetAmerica, the wannabe low-cost carrier, an absolute fortune. So far, it’s had to refund half a million dollars to more than 6,400 passengers, ostensibly because the folks in Newark temporarily clipped its wings.

If JetAmerica ever does really get off the ground, it will offer 34 flights a day, servicing such desirable destinations as Toledo, Lansing and South Bend.

Hungarian airline stunt too successful

by Tom Johansmeyer on

A crowd pissed all over Wizz Air’s attempt to release 1,000 balloons into the sky. The low-cost airline had hoped to celebrate its fifth anniversary, but the Hungarian crowd was drawn to the event by the rumor of freebies hooked to the balloons – coupons worth $49.95 – ultimately ruining it for everybody.

The balloons were held in a net in Budapest. Attendees started to pop balloons so they could cash in on the discounts, prompting a burst of bursting. After the first popper struck, the crowd “attacked the net,” according to Wizz Air communications director Natasa Kazmer.

One young woman fished for coupons through a grill in the gutter, hopefully because she planned to take many Wizzes later this year.

The publicity stunt was too successful: most of the vouchers were gone before the press even arrived.

Scared passengers boycott airline after being asked to help “balance the plane”

by Scott Carmichael on

Seventy terrified passengers refused to board their Thomas Cook plane in Mallorca, Spain this week because the airline had asked them to all sit in the back of the plane.

During its time on the ground, baggage workers were unable to open the rear cargo door of the plane, and had to load all the luggage in the front – requiring passengers to act as ballast in the rear to keep the plane balanced.

The seventy passengers were afraid that the stuck cargo door would pop open during the flight, and many of them paid 100’s of pounds to fly home with other airlines. One passenger paid $1000 to fly his family home.

Adding to the “horror” of the incident were passengers who had arrived on the same plane, who told departing passengers that they had just experienced “the worst flight of their lives”.

The airline said it was a normal operating procedure and that it was disappointed to hear that passengers decided not to travel, despite reassurances from the crew and captain.

Ryanair: get in shape, carry your own bags

by Tom Johansmeyer on

European object of disdain low-cost carrier Ryanair is always looking for ways to save a few bucks. From pay-to-piss to the fat tax, the airline has put forth a stream of ideas that really haven’t gotten off the ground. Well, CEO Michael O’Leary has a new one to add to the list: mandatory luggage self-service.

Under this new model, passengers would carry their bags through airport security and drop them at the steps at the bottom of the plane. Turnaround times remain a concern – as they are for the fat tax. Let’s be realistic: the only people in the airport more likely to screw something up than baggage handlers are the passengers themselves.

If you spend 15 minutes staring at the menu at Sbarro and can’t figure the damned thing out, you probably shouldn’t be trusted to carry your own bags.

Say “I do” at 30,000 feet – easyJet wants to get into the wedding business

by Scott Carmichael on

Desperate to generate some extra cash, every airline in the world is scrambling for ways to introduce new money making services. Some have considered paid bathrooms, others are going to double charge fatties. UK low cost carrier easyJet is in the lead at the moment in the creativity top 10.

The airline is planning to introduce in-flight weddings on their planes, allowing couples to tie the knot at 30,000 feet.

Imagine being able to get married on the plane that is taking you to your honeymoon destination.

Of course, it’ll still be on a tacky orange colored low cost carrier, and many of the passengers around you are probably already drunk from all the beer at the airport.

There is one minor issue they’ll need to work on first – UK law states that the place of marriage has to be a legal building, and that the building has to be permanent and “not moving”. Still, if they are able to work out the legal problems, they may be onto the next big aviation money maker.