The Sex Toy Vending Machines Of Spain

vending machines
You’ve probably heard of the vending machines in Japan that sell used panties supposedly worn by schoolgirls. It appears Japan isn’t alone in having sexual vending machines in public places. Not far from my home in Santander, on Spain’s northern coast, I came across this innocuous-looking little cubbyhole. Its vending machines offer hot food, soda and snacks 24 hours a day.

It’s in between a bar district and the residential neighborhood where I live, so I popped in here one night for some potato chips to absorb some of the wine I’d drunk. It turns out I could buy more than potato chips. Further inside, out of view from the street but still completely open to the public of all ages, was a vending machine selling sex toys.

The picture is on the next page, and no, it’s not work safe (duh!).Vending Machines
Whatever entrepreneur thought this up was a genius. When you’re coming back from the bars late at night you always need something. If you’re a married guy like me, it might be something as mundane as a snack. If you’re getting lucky with someone you met on your fifteenth round of sangría, you might need some flavored condoms. If you didn’t meet the person of your dreams, you can at least cuddle up to a giant black dong for only €16.50 ($21). Just don’t forget the lube for €6.50 ($8.29) or you might wake up the next morning with more than your head hurting.

This isn’t the only dildo vending machine in Spain. A friend of mine came across one in a youth hostel where she was staying with her two little daughters. The girls saw it first because they were attracted by all the shiny colors. They asked what the dildos were and their mother, quite wisely, I thought, answered honestly and with just enough information to satisfy their curiosity. They shook their heads at the weird things adults get up to and soon forgot about it.

Spain isn’t some decadent place full of loners seeking out dirty vending machines. You can also find vending machines selling books. So far I have yet to see a vending machine that sells books and dildos. I’ll be sure to tell you if I do.

The sexiest city in the United States is …

Don’t waste your time looking at the coasts, if you have a map in front of you. And skip the big cities and clichés – you won’t find Las Vegas at the top. Austin, Texas is the sexiest city in the country according to a survey by Men’s Health Magazine. A number of factors contributed to the win, including birth rates, condom sales and the rate of STDs … not to mention sex toy sales.

Texas came out looking pretty good, with Dallas, Houston and San Antonio also getting props behind winner Austin. In all, seven of the 15 sexiest cities were in Texas. It must be the heat, because colder cities didn’t fare as well. It isn’t hard to be too sexy for Portland, Maine, which finished last, and Burlington, Vermont.

Some of the likely suspects failed to deliver. Vegas came in at #70, with New York following at #73. San Francisco was #74, with Miami #88.

[photo by Steve Zak Photography]

Five tips on how to travel with “pleasure products” from Jimmyjane

Yeah – you can stop giggling. We already know that 42% of you don’t mind traveling with your favorite sex toy, and who are we to judge?

“Design centric brand” Jimmyjane knows a thing or two about sex toys – so they used their experience with the products to put together a list of tips on how to carry them through the airport checkpoint.

Some of them are no-brainers (remove the batteries), others are things I would not have known (buy a toy with a lock button). Of course, the list does point out several Jimmyjane products you may want to check out, but this is a classy brand – their toys are even on sale at select W Hotels, The Delano hotel in Miami and The Metropolitan in London.

And yes – a quick Google search does show that people travel with their toys, and that plenty of them have had “issues” at the checkpoint. At least those people can travel with the knowledge that they helped brighten the day of the security screener.

A humourous look at how to transport sex toys through the airport checkpoint

Funny “man blog” Manolith has put together a helpful chart with tips on how to carry “marital aids” through the airport checkpoint. The list is obviously meant as a bit of a joke, but from my conversations with TSA workers, it appears that the occasional dildo is not that rare in checkpoint luggage.

The full version of the chart is here. One tip you won’t find in the list is the Gadling recommendation to send your bags (and toys) by FedEx to your destination. That way, you won’t have to worry about a TSA agent questioning you on the purpose of that 12 incher in your bag, or the massive tube of lube you forgot to remove (remember the liquid rules!).

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Sexologist has carry-on inspected, TSA keeps cool

Robocop sets off alarms. Of course, this “Robocop” is the nickname sexologist David Steinberg has for an 8-inch solid brass sex toy. Even a TSA official could see that one coming. This device was stored safely at home, but Steinberg’s bag of goodies still attracted inspector attention at the airport in Seattle.

For once, it may have been prudent to respond, “No,” when asked if the security official could inspect the contents of the bag.

An older, serious women had to sift through nipple clamps, a butt plug, condoms, personal lubricants and other implements of Steinberg’s trade. Truly a committed professional, her facial expression did not change during the entire ordeal. Some of the other passengers working their way through security took notice, undoubtedly thinking that these are the very devices the TSA uses if it summons you into one of those “special” rooms for a more thorough search.

Most of these professional tools are deemed fine for the flight, though a whip with a 6-inch metal handle doesn’t pass the test. The security guard claims it’s a weapon, probably not realizing that that isn’t its intent. I guess it could be used as one, though the owner correctly describes it as a toy (conveniently omitting the word “adult” from the exchange).

Encouraged by the suggestion that he check it as a separate piece of luggage, Steinberg dashed over to the ticket agent to make his move. She was a bit more aware of the device but declined an offer of explanation. The whip was checked successfully, and Steinberg went on his way.

So, the next time you pack your carry-on, remember to consider the contents carefully. Steinberg’s a comfortable pro, but you may not be ready to have your belongings put on display.